Why are shy people loathed and despised?

Question

Shy people are crucified, vilified and bashed by most. Overly talkative people are hailed as heroes, even when they really have nothing of substance to say? Why the hypocrisy and double-standard against shy people in this, the so-called "greatest nation on Earth?"

Answer 1

It's got absolutely nothing to do with "the greatest nation on earth", which it isn't anyway. Shy people aren't fun to be with, that's all. They probably feel more loathed and despised than they actually are. But I know where you're coming from... If being shy doesn't work for you, then you have a task ahead which is overcoming being shy. I can tell you're young, so don't worry, you'll make it just as long as you want to. You don't have to become stupid, you know, just less shy. Good luck!  

Answer 2

i guess when ppl that are a happy go lucky, talkative and just social they get annoyed when other people (shy ppl) just dont respond the same way and they dont understand why they are that way and after awhile they are just thinking "stop being shy get over it like you'd think after being with me you become less shy but no your still quiet" and then it just gets annoying and they give up on that person and just move on and just talk to people that are similar to themselves (social)...(and loud" ppl as you say), are heroes because they spoke up and did their thing while they did it. shy people will do great thing yet they never say anything!..its like for example lets say two student are at a school both are smart but 1 is smart and social, 2nd student is smart and shy...the social one will of course mention "i got an A on test!" everyone will hear and know she is smart, but the shy one just listens with everyone else and doesnt say anything, the whole class wont know she smart or dumb or anything cause shes so quiet, therefore 1st student is smart while 2nd is who knows? to everyones eyes until the day she speaks

Answer 3

I grew up shy, and am still somewhat shy, though I pretend not to be for my own sake.

People made fun of me CONSTANTLY - to the point of driving me towards a mental disorder or two... anyway... the reason they made fun of me was because I let them. They would call me fat, and I would run away, they would pretend the earth was shaking at my foot-falls, and I would cry. I never was good at quick-witted, stinging comments... If I wasn't afraid of hitting girls, I'd probably have just beaten them down, which would have helped.

When people say, "There's no point in being shy, so why the h**l are you?" it's not like it's some personal choice you make. "I'm going to be shy. That would be SO AWESOME!" like, what? no one WANTS to be shy. It's actually often social anxiety, caused by early traumatic experiences as children. If every time you are approached by people you don't know around your age, they are mean to you, or cause you pain, you tend to flinch away from that kind of situation. Like putting your hand on a hot burner...  it burns your hand, you don't do it anymore.

I found out that my first experiences with children my age ended up with them pinching my cheeks until they were bloody, and since they were the children of the babysitter, she didn't do anything about it. I believe that had something to do with my continuing shy-ness.  

Answer 4

Shy people don't fight back.  If I call a shy person an idot, he doesn't say anything.  Being shy makes no sense in the first place.  The whole reason for being shy is because you are scared of what people will think if you do something yet people think you are more weird or different by not doing anything at all.

Answer 5

This may not get me the 10 extra points - but first -- Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  What do you a want, a national law proclaiming it illegal to be mean to shy people?  This is the first step to overcoming the negative issues associated with shyness.  

I know, because I am naturally shy.  But, being outgoing and making friends can be learned, like many other skills.  Try practicing with people you aren't really likely to see again, it will make it easier than interacting with your peers, because you will feel less dread of rejection.  

Try going to a museum or art gallery, and ask a person who has been looking at a picture for a while, what they like about it.  Ask them if they come to the museum very often.  Tell them, this is your first time, and ask what they think is the most interesting exhibit or which one they like the best.

You will find, that it isn't very hard to interact with people or get them to talk about themselves or something they are interested in.  Once you have mastered this skill, try it with your peers -- don't pick the most popular person in school, ask somebody who appears to be about as shy as you are, or someone who you know likes something that you like.  

Although people sometimes find it difficult to believe that I am shy -- I have merely learned the "outgoing, extrovert skill" -- there are times (such as big parties where I don't know anybody, etc.) that I am nearly overcome with dread and just want to leave or hide in the bathroom.  Yet, by practicing this one skill, you will find that you can succeed at making new friends -- that is all it takes!

If you are being bullied -- that is another matter, and it is important for you both to stand up for yourself, and to notify those who are in charge.  Bullying should not be tolerated under any circumstances.

Answer 6

Most horrible people in this world think that shy people are an easy target.

They pick on these people because they know they won't do anything about it.

These people are bullies and bullies are cowards..

If a bully was alone and not in a group, they would no doubt not even say a word to you..they do it to try and make themselves look big and tough.

I hope you are not being bullied or singled out in any way.

Everybody is going to get singled out or picked on at some point in their lives..I believe that if somebody says something nasty to you, you tell the right there and then, be strong and i am positive that they won't do it again because they then know that they cannot get away with it.

Head Up! :)

Answer 7

Are we ?

now i'm depressed

Answer 8

People should be more shy and quiet.

Among the Japanese and Scandinavians, a quiet person is taken more seriously than a talkative, bubbly person. It shows that he/she is a thinker and an observer.

A talkative, bubbly person on the other hand is perceived as silly, immature and shallow. People like this never thrive in cultures where shy traits are valued; whereas in the U.S., the extreme opposite occurs!!!

And shy people DO fight back. That's the problem: many people associate shyness with weakness  -- not true. Shyness is simply someone who hates being the center of attention. I consider myself very shy I can assure people out there I don't let myself get pushed around.

I despise loud talkative types. Not only do they irritate me, but they are also emotionally tiring to be around. In a conversation, I like to reflect on what I say and is being said. Loud types blurt any shallow c**p that's on their mind.

And I hate it how shy people are thought to be latent serial killers, when in fact the majority of criminals have very high extraversion.

Answer 9

I didn't know shy people were despised. That is news to me. I do know that quiet, shy or introverted people are often picked on and bullied. I was when I was a kid. The bullies see a quiet person as an easy target. It is human nature, and really isn't different in the animal kingdom. Animals in groups will often pick on the ones that they perceive as weak or different in some way.

I found a good book called "the introvert advantage" which you might want to get for yourself. There's a lot of good information in there that explains why some people are extroverts or introverts and basically says that there is nothing wrong with being either one. Our brains are wired one way or the other. Introverted people are usually more thoughtful and thorough. Extroverts tend to talk over introverts, so we become quiet. We are not necessarily shy, I'm not.