Why are so many people against having the mother walk you?

Question

down the aisle on your wedding day?

So many posts talk about deadbeat dads and what to do on the wedding day, and people ALWAYS cassually respond:

Oh -have a granddad or uncle walk you down the aisle.

Like someone with a p***s is better than the person that cared for you your whole life.

This is the biggest honor of the wedding.

It says, "I have taken care of this woman and now I trust you to do so"

Why are people so nonchalant about who the walker is?

Explain to me how an uncle, brother or grandfather has the right and the honor to give you away when a mother has spent her WHOLE life taking care of you.

Answer 1

It's just tradition. Why have anyone walk you at all? Why not walk down the aisle with your fiancé? Most people think "inside the box" to varying degrees. The closest "proxy" to a father would be another male relative. A female relative is a little more untraditional, so it doesn't immediately occur to many people. I don't think it has to do with the presence of a p***s, it's just that more people are going to think of something that's closer to tradition, and the further an option is from tradition the less people will consider it. The more you think about, the more options will occur to you and the more untraditional they may be.

Answer 2

I don't know why anyone would be against that.  People tend to lean toward the traditional, I'm not sure why.  People should do what is comfortabe for them, not worry about what other people think.

Answer 3

I really don't know why some people would be aganist it. I think it's great to have a mother do it!

Personally, I don't much follow traditions. I don't like the whole idea of being "given away" because I don't belong to anyone. I'm walking myself down the aisle. Apparently that ruffles some people's feathers around here too but to that I say too bad.

I don't think there's any right or wrong way to do anything when it comes to weddings. Whether a couple chooses to have a traditional wedding, an untraditional one, or something in between, is of no concern to anyone but the couple. Being judgemental of another's personal choices is a little silly if you ask me.

Answer 4

It is the bride's decision!  The only person that should care who walks the bride down the aisle is The Bride.  Now a days brides are walking themselves or having their children do it.

Answer 5

My mom walked me down the aisle (my dad was a deadbeat but deceased for years), and everyone thought it was beautiful!  I didn't realize people had such a problem with it.

Answer 6

I don't get the male-person-walking-you-down-the-aisle mindset.  To me, a Mother is a great alternative.  So is walking yourself.

Answer 7

Why are you carrying on about it? Just have your mom walk you down the aisle. You don't need anybody's permission for it.  I am not having ANYBODY walk me down the aisle.   Neither of my parents were ever there for me in times of true need while showering attention on siblings who don't give a rip.

People are probably just making alternatives that fit with a traditional walk down the aisle.  I don't think it's a commentary on your choice.

Answer 8

Giving Away the Bride

The tradition of the father giving away his daughter has its roots in the days of arranged marriages. Daughters in those times were considered their father's property. It was the father's right to give his child to the groom, usually for a price. Today a father giving away his daughter is a symbol of his blessing of the marriage.

So Technically its not say here take care of her. Why not just walk down the aisle yourself, that way you don't have to choose. Think about walking down the aisle with your husband-to-be if you don't want any suggestion of being given away, and if you prefer not to walk alone.

http://www.weddingbasics.com/blog/articl...

http://www.koco.com/wedding/2399764/deta...

Answer 9

It is your wedding! Do what you want! Get your mother do it! Do not care what other people think!

Answer 10

I personally think that the mother AND father should walk the daugther down the aisle. I think it is beautiful. If one parent is not there, in this case the dad, then the other parent should step up and do it.

Answer 11

I really don't care for the whole thing, to be honest. That tradition sprang from a time when a man married his daughter off as a business deal.

When we married in February, I opted to have my fiance/husband walk me down the aisle together. We're a team, and I didn't want anyone "giving me away" like a sack of potatoes or something. I hate that tradition.

Answer 12

It's a remnant from the old days when women didn't have any property rights, so they were practically owned by their fathers or by whoever the patriarch of the house was. The giving away part was literally transfer of ownership and only males could do it. Most people tend to be stuck on the "tradition" part without recognizing the negative connotations.

Fortunately, now it's a symbolic gesture that honors the person who walks you down the aisle.  I see nothing wrong with your mother walking you down the aisle.

Both of my parents are great parents and I have a great relationship with both of them, but I chose to walk myself down the aisle- I wasn't being "given away" or "entrusted" , I willingly entered a marriage.

Answer 13

As far as I could see, nobody has ever come out and said "It HAS to be someone with a p***s!" That's just ridiculous.  You're assuming everyone's mother is the perfect mother, when in truth there are bad mothers, just like there are bad fathers.

It's the bride's decision who she wants to walk with, if she wants to walk with anyone at all. Gender should have nothing to do with it.

Answer 14

I agree with you. I think it's just society's rule that a man must walk you down the aisle because of the whole father figure thing.  I think it's stupid and ridiculous. The person that raised you your whole should have that honor especially if that person doesn't have that "father figure".  It's all coming from a place of love so the gender doesn't matter. My mom is going to walk me down the aisle so you're preaching to the choir on this one.

Answer 15

Both my mom and dad walked me down the aisle. My dad wasnt around when I was little but have recently gotten close. So I wanted him as well. But if he wasnt my mom would have totally done it by herself.

Answer 16

I believe your mother should be able to walk you down the aisle or anyone for that matter, I believe that the person who walks you should be someone who you love,trust, and have faith in that they are leading you down the aisle...if its you mom dad you brother your sister or your kids for that matter

Answer 17

All I know is that my mom walked me........

Answer 18

I think its tradition, they believe that a male of the same family name should give the daughter away, I think it also stems from the fact that the men will always have the family name (again, traditionally), while the women can change it depending on which family they marry into.

But I think your way is right, the person taking care of her should be the one to give her to the family.   I hope that whomever the bride is, that she can shine and walk proudly with her mother who loves her and SHOULD be the one to give her away, its her choice:)

Answer 19

Many people want a traditional wedding, even if the bride's father can't/won't be walking her down the aisle. Perhaps an uncle, grandfather, or brother doesn't have MORE right than a mother, but shouldn't that be the bride's choice? If a woman wants her mother to walk with her down the aisle, no one on Yahoo Answers will change her mind.

I want both of my parents to walk with me :)