Why are some homeschool kids socially backwards?

Question

I knew one kid once who was home schooled who had very anti-social behavior from a young age. I went over to yet another "home schooled" kids house and all he wanted to do was watch veggie tales and watch star wars. Then after I left he said never come over again.(I'm pretty sure we just didn't get along). Does anyone have an answer to my original question though?

Answer 1

Why are some public schooled children more socially immature than others?  It is not necessarily BECAUSE of his being homeschooled, it is just a characteristic trait.  Perhaps this is not BECAUSE he is homeschooled, but rather WHY he is homeschooled.

I have a question of my own-why do non- and/or anti- homeschoolers feel the need to represent one or two examples they can give of a situation as if it is true for the whole?  I know a child in public school who is a juvenile s*x offender.  Does that mean all children in school are?  I know a child in public school who is a genius.  Does that mean they all are?  I know a child in public school who can not even read and write in the SIXTH grade.  Does that mean that none of them can?  Of course not.

Answer 2

Why is anyone socially backwards?

I know plenty of people that have been "schooled" like fish in a classroom that cannot get along with anyone.

Out of the thousands of home-schooled families that I know there is probably ONE kid that has major anti-social issues -- but that started after he began attending public school.

There are tens of thousands of home-schooled people.  Home-schooling does not make anyone social or anti-social.

We have opportunities every day for good, fun, positive interaction with other people.

Answer 3

In any public school classroom you will find at least 2 "anti-social" or maladjusted kids. At least. There are some kids in any school enviroment who have issues.

Answer 4

The same reason some Public school kids are socially backwards or "weird." Parental influence, life experience, whatever. I really hope you aren't stereotyping all home schoolers from one example, I certainly don't do that to kids who aren't home schooled. My teen daughter has a lot of friends from different school systems.

Besides, do you call anyone weird that doesn't have your exact interests? That's pretty close minded.

added: Apparently the first two answerer's don't have a clue about home schooling. The grammar and spelling in the second answer just shows I have made the correct choice to home school! My daughter is definitely close, but her best friend is actually a public school student. They get out A LOT, sometimes I wish their social calendar was less busy!

Answer 5

A lot depends on who is doing the homeschooling.  My aunt, a public school teacher, quit to homeschool her three daughters, and then went back.  One of her daughters is a teacher now.

A friend, also a teacher, homeschooled her son and threw herself into it, learning everything he needed.  Unfortunately, it made him resentful and he got into drugs as soon as he could.

A neighbor, who barely finished high school, decided to homeschool her kids after she was "disinvited" from ever coming back to the local elementary.  Her son was a holy terror and mean.  He informed my son that he couldn't be his friend "if you're not a Christian!!"  Imagine his shock when I told him that our son had already been baptized.

I've known people from church who homeschool for excellence, and in this area, we have a "prep" type high school for homeschooled kids.

In my own case, some of the best students I've had as a college teacher were homeschooled.  They were excellent writers and studied hard.  Then, I had one who told me I was going to h**l for teaching about the occult, because I read a ghost story in class.  Oh well.

My son decided that he should be homeschooled when he was about 10.  I said, okay, we'll try it this summer.  I decided to teach him to type, using typing books and a computer program.  By noon, I told him--you're going back to school in the fall.

I'm just not the homeschool type but a lot of people are.  Good homeschooling parents will arrange for their kids to interact socially with other kids their age.  There are homeschool associations out there that do this.

I know Veggie Tales are popular, but I was once subjected to two solid hours of them, so if you bring out the VT, I run screaming from the room, lol!

Answer 6

The same reason that public schooled kids are socially backwards.

Some people just aren't as social as others.  It's a personality trait and develops early in life.  

:D

Answer 7

I don't know if you've noticed this or not but every child has a different personality.  

There are kids who are shy, kids who are outgoing, kids who are athletic, kids who are "bookish", kids who are clowns, kids who are serious, kids who have attitude.

Those kids exist in every walk of life.   Young, old, high school, middle school, elementary, public school, private school, home school, no school, in the US, in Canada, in the UK, in Australia, in Africa, in China, etc., etc., etc.

Answer 8

By "socially backwards" do you mean the kids who don't swear, don't watch R-rated movies, don't listen to popular music, might be religious, and might dress differently than you?  Why is that backwards?  That's just how they were raised/how they are.  Kinda like you and I were raised differently.  I bet we have completely opposite likes.  

I have always listened to classical music, reading is one of my favorite things to do, I love to watch BBC dramas, I wear vintage clothes (mostly dresses and skirts cause I am the ultimate girly-girl), I don't like drinking (that's not a religious decision), I've never done drugs, and I don't swear (it's not lady-like).  Would you say I am "socially backwards"?  Because let me tell ya, I am definitley not.  

I have more friends than (I feel) I can keep up with!  I have old friends in nursing homes that I visit and I have young friends in grade school that I invite over for lunch.  And I have friends my own age that I love to go shopping with.  My fiance and I love getting together with other couples we know and going on double dates.  

I honestly don't, and never have really, know that many "socially backwards" homeschoolers.  I have known some shy/quiet homeschoolers.  Heck, I have even known some shy/quiet public schoolers.  But that doesn't make them socially backwards.  I bet you have met more homeschoolers than you know of.  You probably just did not realize they were homeschooled.

Answer 9

I love this question because I have the answer...every time it is asked. (smile)

Some kids are socially backwards.   It does not matter if they are homeschooled, private schooled, tutored at home, or go to public school.

I work in the public school.  I homeschool my son.   Percentage wise, in  my opinion, there are more socially inept, awkward, backward or clinically psychotic kids in the public school than in homeschooling.  

I don't know why but I have a theory that it is because people are different.   I enjoy differences and dislike the idea that we should all be the same.  I am tolerant. (smile)

Answer 10

I know others have said it, but why are some public school kids socially backwards?  Everybody is different.  I can speak from experience, and say that I am the oldest of seven kids who have all been homeschooled our entire lives.  I'm not trying to be mean, just to let you know.  I just want to give you a glimps of my life.  Not only do we get along well with each other, but we all have tons of friends that we all get along with from our street, church, old homeschool group (which is like a club for homeschoolers where we can have feild trips, science fairs, book clubs, art shows, etc.), teenpact (a week-long camp for homeschoolers where we go to our state's capital and learn about how our government works), and our various activities we have had over the years, like city league baseball, softball, football, cheerleading, soccer, basketball, and ballet classes.  We moved to Florida about three years ago, and here, homeschoolers can take classes and get involved in athletics in public schools.  My two younger brothers are on the track and wrestling team at Auburndale high.  They both have friends from the teams that they spend time with all the time, and their coaches love them.  My brothers are really sweet, polite, and cute.  All three of my brothers have basically grown up with girls pining over them and wondering if they have girlfriends.  The older brother and I are in college now.  We go to Warner Southern.  My brother is in student government and we are both in a "kinda" serority and fraternity clubs.  (It's a Church of God school, so they don't really call them that, but it's basically what they are)  Oh, and we both have good friends and good relationships with our teachers, with the exeption of one english teacher for my brother.  (Most think she's sexist--might be cause I get along with her just fine.)  We all have good social skills, but we are all very different.  We all did like watching Veggie Tales and my youngest brother is crazy about starwars, :) but there is so much more to us.  We all have different personalities and different passions.  I would have to say that my second younger brother and I are the more introverted of our family, but we still have friends and good relationships.  My first younger brother might be the most extroverted person I have ever seen.  He gets energy from just being around people.  Every time I turn around, he and his group of friends are going out to do something, or he's trying to get involved in a new club.  He also has hundreds of friends on facebook.  Oh, and I want to mention that he and I both have good jobs, and both of our bosses think that we are one of the best workers they have.  I know although I've never experienced it, there has to be some homeschooled kids that are raised where they have little contact with anyone or who are just very anti-social by nature, but that does not define homeschoolers, just like a few anti-social kids do not define other schools.  In fact statistics show that homeshooling affects most kids in a positive way. (see source) I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with homeschoolers, but I hope you won't steriotype us because of them.  Hope that helps.

Answer 11

Why are some public school kids truly scary?  Why are some private school kids cliquish and s****.?  I've met both.  They're not the majority, of course, but they certainly exist.

Just because they're not into the same thing as you are doesn't mean they're anti-social, or socially backwards.  Some kids honestly are anti-social, no matter where they go to school; I'm sure you've seen some roaming your halls.  I know there were plenty in my school, and it was tiny.  And honestly, maybe the other kid liked Veggie Tales and Star Wars, or maybe that's what his younger sibs wanted to watch.  It may not be what you're into, but it doesn't mean that he's a social freak.

Homeschool kids are often into different things because they're allowed to be.  I know when several (not all) of my son's public school friends come over, just about every one of them wants to spend the entire time in front of his PS2 or laptop - which he enjoys, but for hours on end?  It gets old.  He finally managed to drag one of them into the yard to play (he's 10) after several visits.  Personally, I would consider having to spend all of one's free time in front of an electronic device as anti-social, but that's just me.

When his homeschool friends come over, or he goes to their house, the PS2 and the laptop rarely come out - only if he or his friend wants to show the other a trick they learned, or a cheat, or how to get through a certain point in a game.  Then, it goes up and they play different things until one or the other has to go home.  They trade off and on with what each other wants to do - play in the yard, play a board game, make a project, take the dog for a walk, go to the park, whatever.  Sorry, but I haven't met a homeschool kid yet (and there are several hundred in our area) who was unwilling to adjust to the social needs of another.  I have met a couple who are introverted by nature and honestly prefer to do some things alone, but that's not because they're homeschooled - it's because that's how they're wired.

Like I said, homeschool kids are allowed to develop according to their own interests - reading voraciously, exploring nature, learning all about science, building a fort from scratch in the backyard, and yes, watching Veggie Tales and Star Wars.  They're not in an environment that tells them that they have to be just like everyone else in order to fit in; they're allowed to be who they are.  They also allow others to be who they are.  This isn't anti-social, though coming from a school environment (which isn't bad, but it does require conformity), it can seem so.

jaxom...sorry, but that's just sad.  Did you ever think that maybe it was your behavior that needed to change?

Answer 12

I dunno, why are some public school kids socially backwards? Everyone is a person, regardless of where they learn.

Answer 13

Why are some public schooled kids socially backwards?

I saw a public school kid standing in her yard, chewing on a pair of her socks the other day. I know her older sister. This girl is in the second or third grade. I rolled down my window and asked her why she was chewing on her socks. She answered, no joke,"I'm hyperactive". Then she laughed. She thought that was funny. I thought it was weird as well as unsanitary. Should I assume by this that all public school students chew their socks?

What young age? Was he antisocial, or did he not like you or share your interests? This is all subjective.

.....Also , judging from the money it has made, that kid is not the only one who likes Star Wars.

Jaxom6969420: You are just a sorry piece of work. Nice 420 reference, pot head. Adding the 69s to your name was really classy too. I bet that gets all the ladies. *sarcasm* p**n talk and profanity in the work place is normal? How unprofessional and pathetic! You do know that legally, that constitutes a hostile workplace, right? Since when is being a bloated, beer swilling, foul mouthed pig considered attractive? It is no wonder you need p**n. I don't know a single woman who would relish your company. I notice you list your interests as including Magic the Gathering and D&D on your profile. Bwahahahaha! Talk about people in glass houses throwing stones! Cripes man, get a life and develop some social skills!

EDIT: ..and he's 18. Those beers are illeagal then? Sad.

Answer 14

I suppose because their social expiriences to draw on in the real world are soo limited they just don't know how to react.  Not all hope is lost on them though.

We had a guy who worked night crew who was homeschooled and at first the dude was uptight about swearing ( We swear like sailors on that shift ) and even one time while we were talking about porno flix he refered to them as Rated R movies.  After a while of being emersed in our company he slowly loosened up started cussing and hangin out and drinkin with us.  he's just one of the guys now.

Answer 15

because they always stay home, and never talk to people (except familly).

Answer 16

Why are some public schooled kids socially backwards? Why are some private schooled kids socially backwards?

Some kids, regardless of where they are schooled, will always be socially backwards. Reasons for this can include things like Asperger's syndrome, autism, high intelligence, or even just how their parents raise them. It doesn't matter where a child goes to school, if parents don't show them how to be hosts, or they don't go places where they see others hosting, they won't know how to be hosts. Of course, other factors also come into play for social skills.

Answer 17

You ask an interesting question that deserves an honest answer.  I will reword your question, though: Why do some homeschool kids seem socially backwards?

First, we have to define what it means to be "socialized."  In the case of children who go to school, this means one thing: fitting in with the crowd, making the teacher happy, following the latest fad, etc.  In the case of homeschool kids, it means another thing: being your own person, following your passions, dealing with real life.  When you put one kid in with another group that has very divergent interests, they will seem socially awkward.  Not to worry, though: when kids leave school to start homeschooling, they often appear awkward to any homeschool group they join.  They often have an easier time than homeschool kids, though.  Homeschool kids tend to be much more welcoming and accepting of new kids than schooled kids are.  They can do this, because accepting new kids does not in any way threaten their standing with the "group."

Be well.

Answer 18

Why are public schooling kids educationally backwards? They care nothing for education, just for making friends and competing with one another on who has what.

I don't know any public schooling kids that can tell me who Quanah Parker was, or name all the beaches at Normandy, or tell me what was General George Crook's Starvation March. Our kids can.

Edit: We don't have anything to do with the internet and home schooling combined. Ours come from books. I do know some smart public school kids, but not many.

Edit: In a St. Louis elementary school in 2007, 12 elementary boys attempted to rape a girl from their class on the playground. Who is socially backwards? Where did those boys get the idea for that? Our home schooled boys don't even remotely think like that.

Answer 19

I find it interesting that HE is the one that told YOU to never come over again.

And... what activities would you have liked to do instead of watching Star Wars and Veggie Tales?

Many homeschool kids are socially different than their PS counterparts - but in a good way.  They tend to be polite, respectful...

Is the goth girl in your school "socially backwards" or cool?

Are the druggies in your school "socially backwards" or cool?

Are the bullies in your school "socially backwards" or cool?

Is the PS kid with the lip ring "socially backwards" or cool?

Is the gang of third graders plotting to kill their teacher "socially backwards" or cool?

Many homeschool kids have passionate interests such as piano or other musical instruments, art, dance, math, writing, etc. and other intellectual and talent pursuits that are not "in" with the PS crowd.

Is the kid taking hours of piano lessons every day so he can realize a dream of attending Juliard (that is a famous music school) "socially backward?"

Is the kid who runs his own business at age 16 "socially backwards?"

Is the kid writing in a journal along the edge of a pond everyday because he really loves nature and science "socially backwards?"

Is the kid developing a role playing computer game for blind children "socially backward?"

Is the kid attending community college at age 15 "socially backwards?"

Is the kid who focuses a lot of attention on Civil Air Patrol because he dreams of attending the Air Force Academy and ultimately flying jets "socially backwards?"

Apparently some people think so... because I just described a handful of homeschool kids that I know.

So...uhm...what is wrong with either Star Wars or Veggie Tales, anyway?

Those above have really said it though: The whole world is made up of people with different interests and strengths and weaknesses regardless of where they go to school

... if we were all the same - how boring would that be?

Answer 20

Wow they are nailing you to the cross. These people don't want to accept that there are bad parents and bad home schools. mine is 1.

Answer 21

Yeah, they don't know how to spit, and swear, and tell dirty jokes.  I guess their mom just isn't as socially adept as those schools are.

Answer 22

because they mught clasify their mum or dad as thei rbest friend siunce they didnt get the chance to go to schol and make freinds and then they like that sort of stuff