Why are some people anti-adoption?

Question

It seems that some people do not think that adoption is a good option in any circumstances. I agree that if some one is willing and able to adequately parent a child they should by all means do so however sometimes that is not the case. If finding some sort of support is the issue it makes sense to help someone find it but if a birth parent really does not feel prepared to parent a child why would someone not think adoption is a good option for the child, the birth family and the adoptive family? I am making the assumption here that all due dilligence has been done and that adoption is what the birth parents think this is best and the adoptive family has the ability to provide a good and loving situation for the the child.

Answer 1

i don't know, people are weird i guess

Answer 2

I'm adopted.  I wouldn't call myself anti-adoption, because not everyone feels like I do,  but I will tell you that being abandoned and unwanted and knowing that my own mother, the one person who should have loved me more than anyone else in the whole world, gave me away to strangers is the most painful thing I can imagine having to live with.  

I mean, if my own mother didn't want me, why should I believe that I am worth anything at all or that anyone could ever love me?  I feel unlovable, unloved, worthless, useless, insignificant, unworthy....well, you get the picture.  

I absolutely wish I hadn't been born.  And yes, for those of you who always ask, that means that I would have preferred to have been aborted.

Wow, thumbs down on my birthday, just for telling how I feel.  You are so cold-hearted.

Answer 3

Being one who was adopted, it can be hard to deal with being given up, and rejected.  

But there are wonderful people out there who would love a child as their own.  Every situation is different.

When birthdays happen, a child can hate that day because that is they day they were given away.  For an adoptive parent it should be made up as the most amazing day celebrated each year to change the child's memory of that day.  My mother did that for me and I look fondly on that day.

Adoption has pros and cons, such as life itself, but children need homes and love as I did and as all have needed.  

Adoption just is a complicated thing, but can be made to be a beautiful chance at joy for someone.  Isn't that worth it!!!????

Answer 4

Fee's vary depending on the race of the child.

Ap's are allowed to change the childs name, when he/she already HAS a name(usually.)

Adoptees are denied our heritage, ancestry and identity because 44 states in the US alone deny adoptees access to our original birth certificates when there is no promise of privacy in surrendering papers.

Some adoptees are stolen.

Some adoptees have been trafficked by child trafficking rings.

Some adoptees parents didn't want to lose them.

Agencies are making thousands of dollars off of us.

Somewhere along the lines, it stopped being about the child.

Answer 5

It can be incredibly difficult to carry a baby to term, give birth to it and then allow someone else to raise it.  I'll guess you haven't done so yourself.

Answer 6

Partly because there have been corrupt people/ situations related to adoption. Just as there have been corrupt people in every other aspect of human life.

Also, because people are angry about their own personal situation and they generalize that to mean adoption in general.

Lastly because they are generally uneducated about the extent of abuse and neglect that goes on in the world by people who are raising children they dont want or cant care for. There is a pollyanna attitude on here that if you can convince people not to create an adoption plan than every thing will be rosy which is absurd.  Children are beaten abused and killed by their parents every day and we dont suggest that it is "parenting" that is the problem.

Answer 7

Maybe I am niave or maybe I just have a really good situation. I can understand this from adoptees who may not have been raised in an open adoption.  The anti adoption folks I really don't get are the one's who have no experience with adoption in any way, but still choose to (very strongly) pass judgement.  Families are built in many different ways, adoption is just one of them.

Answer 8

there are a lot of kids out there that just want a home. Then again, there are some people who like to s***w with other people's lives and try to ruin humanity. The latter are called many  things including pro life, republicans, democrats and anti-adoption.

I the one kind of non evil person in the world. I am for green parties. I don't drink any kind of carbonated beverages at all. And i support local business whenever possible.

Answer 9

If you've spent any time on here today, you might find the answer to your question.  An adoptee was having a really bad day, and for the rest of the day, people were attacking her.  Most people do not understand that being adopted can feel really, really bad...so on top of the pain of being separated from your biological family, you've got people who don't understand that pain telling you that you should be "grateful" for the most painful thing you've ever been through.  How hurtful!  I don't recall anyone telling me I should be grateful that I was raped and that my rapist didn't kill me...or be glad my parents abused me because at least I had food on the table.  It's just an absolutely horrifying existence, when these things are said to you on a daily basis throughout your life...and even on the worst day.  People are more insensitive about adoption loss than any other loss or pain I've ever seen.

Answer 10

Some people are not just not so bright, there are a few people on here that act like people just steal babies away so that they can adopt them out.  In the US, most children are given up, they aren't taken away from their parents, and if they are, then there is a very good reason.  It is cruel to leave and innocent child in a situation where they are abused, neglected, or not taken care of.  My cousin had his daughter taken away because he and the babies mother were addicted to drugs, and the child was neglected, burned with cigarettes (supposedly an accident, but it happened several times) and had head trauma from being dropped.  I don't think that any child deserves to be left in a sitaution like that...plus she was 4 months old and weighed 8 pounds.  My mom has since gotten custody of her and will soon be adopting her.  Since my mother has been taking care of er...she has gained 4 pounds, and is rolling over and starting to crawl...plus she is the happiest child I have ever seen...and this all happened in the span of a month and a half.  People don't know what adoption really is and the reason for it...so their opinions are most likely based on their own ignorance.

Answer 11

I believe that many times, it may be because:

1.  The person does not know how adoption really is.

2.  The person generalizes.

3.  The person has to see all adoption as bad in order to stay detaiched from the pain they feel from being placed for adoption.

4.  The person has to see all adoption as bad in order to stay detaiched from the pain of having placed a child for adoption.

5.  The person has never experienced unconditional love.

6.  The person is egocentric and cannot imagine the true love and connection most adoptive parents and adoptees feel.

The truth is, that in the U.S.:

1.  Most adoptees are relinquished freely and voluntarily.

2.  It is extremely rare that an adoptee has been trafficked by child trafficking rings.

3.  Most birth mothers choose a closed or semi-open adoption.

4.  If women did not choose to relinquish their children, and instead chose to parent them, 90% of adoption agencies would close.

5.  For many agencies, birthmothers and adoptive parents, it is still about the child.

Answer 12

There are a few reasons people might be anti-adoption.. I know many religions or cultures do not want someone from a different nationality or belief system to adopt a child and raise it differently. Many countries, such as Afghanistan, will not allow anyone to adopt who is not related to the child because they follow certain parts of the qur'an very strictly.

Also, I don't think that just because you are physically capable to have a child of your own means that you should. Some people would rather adopt and care for a child who has already been given life and been brought into the world. Who can argue with that?

Answer 13

well im anti adoption..because i was adopted and know real life people not anyone on line...that were adopted as well..and out of the five of us..one had a great home..the rest were like me abused and i think that would turn anyone against something that is supposed to be all about what is best for the child...people are money hungry and get money for adopting hard to place kids and in my book that is flat out wrong...

Answer 14

I had a friend when I was a kid who was adopted.  I also had an adopted "cousin."

Adoption can work, but sometimes it's a nightmare.  When kids from bad or damaged genetics are born with the cards stacked against them, sometimes even a healthy upbringing cannot assimilate them into a normal, healthy social life.  

It's sweet to think of sheltering a baby, but the years will make him or her a teenager, with the genetics that caused his or her parents to tend to become irresponsible.  Here we go all over again, same song, younger verse.

It's a matter of nature vs. nurture.  I believe a lot of good nurturing can overcome some of the problems these children will encounter, but let me say it again: they are not dealt a level hand.  And though the kids cannot help it, it is only good sense, or as some would say it "counting the cost" to make fully informed decisions, and sometimes to decline to adopt.

Answer 15

You lost me but here is my answer.

I like it when it have my eyes, ears, and nose.

I am selfish and greedy. I want to take care of MINE child.

That all.

Answer 16

bc separating a mother and child is the cruelest form of abuse there is.

Answer 17

Because people have different opinions. Why are some people pro-choice, why are some people pro-life, why are some people pro adoption? Not everyone has the same mindset.