Why are sooo many women having their first born in the 18-24 age range!?

Question

I have been shocked reading past questions asking the right age to have your first child & most people say 18-24! Is it lack of control, ignorance or what? I mean your just starting life at that age! I finished my education at 25, married at 24 and had my son when I was 2 months shy of 27...I was totally prepared to give him the best. Why do so many women have kids when they should be finishing their education & having FUN, travelling & experiencing life as a woman not mom? What a shame, It's beyond me I couldn't imagine wanting to change diapers & care for a baby at 23!...thats just wrong. I know Im ranting but could someone help me to understand why a woman would want a baby before 25?

Answer 1

Physiologically, women's bodies are best able to handle pregnancy between 18 and 25.  Their fertility is highest, and their complication rates are lowest.  

Answer 2

I had my first when I was 24.  He wasn't planned, but that doesn't matter- I was ready.

I went to college, have a decent job, am in a stable relationship.  I got my "partying" out of the way while in college.  At 24, I was grown up.

I don't think I missed out on anything at all.  I don't think 24 is a bad age to have a baby at all.

Answer 3

I had my son at 27 and wouldnt change a thing.  Some women are different.  I couldnt imagine myself having a child earlier but you know the saying, when your not pregnant, you cant imagine having a child, but when you have a child, you dont know what you would do without them.  Each woman is different and although sometimes, I wish I had my son earlier, I believe God has different plans for different people.  I know if I didnt meet my husband when I did, I wouldnt have this baby. So time HAD to pass in order for everything to fall in place so that my son would be born.  And dont be shocked, read the news, be happy that people werent saying 11-18.  That would have been shocking and unfortunately a lot of younger girls 13, 14,15 are having children because of lack of education..PS..I had my partying out of the way by the time I was 18.  But because I wanted to continue school, I was careful.    

Answer 4

That is just your opinion.  I had my first son at 22yrs and my second at 24yrs.  I have been (since the day I got pregnant with my first) able to provide for my children.  Before I got pregnant I had a well paying, steady job in a dental office, i quit to spend more time with my kids.  I don't have a crazy, party personality.  My husband enjoy hanging out with our kids, we enjoy going to swim class, the zoo, the aquarium and  much more.  I wouldn't change my life for anything.  I am glad that I have my children now while I am young enough to chase after them.  Also when they are grown and in college (or their own home) my husband and i will still be young enough to enjoy life without them with us.  Don't judge, just live your life the way you want and let others live their lives the way they want.

Answer 5

I can see your point, but as a 27-year-old mom to two babies (ages 4 and 8 months), I can also tell you that physically I am much more capable of running after small children at a younger age. Plus, I don't want to be in my 50's when my kids are just leaving home for college--I look forward to more dating times with my husband when they're gone, so I'd rather start younger, enjoy the growing up years, and enjoy my growing old years. :)

It's not "wrong" to want to care for a baby at 23--it's just a different lifestyle choice than what you prefer. :) Some of us thoroughly enjoy being younger moms--and actually, ages 18-24 is quite a bit older than what used to be 50 years ago. In another 25 years, more people will be where you are I'm sure. I have found that parenting takes a major amount of self-sacrifice, and many people are not willing to compromise to that until they are older as well.

Hope that helps you to understand and makes you less frustrated! (Oh, and age itself has little to do with whether or not you are ready to have children...I firmly believe that you can never prepare yourself enough in advance for them. It's like marriage--you live and learn!)

I highly condone abstinence until marriage, at any rate.

Answer 6

I wanted a baby at 25, does that mean there is something wrong with me? I am currently 27 and have a 4 month old, it took us awhile to get pregnant and we had 2 miscarriages.  I don't think there is any certain age requirement for having a child.  I mean obviously younger than say 21 might be frowned upon but some women are "ready" sooner than others....no big deal =)

Answer 7

simple answer: To each his own

Answer 8

Why do you even care? what does it matter? Some women just get pregnant, not on purpose. I got pregnant at the age of 23 and had my son at the age of 24.

Its not wrong to have a baby at that age. My mom had me at the same age. What's so wrong about it?

Yea know when i got pregnant, i didnt know if i was going to be ready to be a mom. But now that i have my son, i wouldnt change a d**n thing.And i cant wait to have more kids. My life isnt over just cause i had my son at a young age. My life is just beginning as i see it.

Maybe you should take your opinion elsewhere.  

Answer 9

Not everyone's idea of the perfect life is yours. I got married just shy of 21 and had my beautiful son at the age of 22. We bought a big beautiful home and both had steady jobs. We are able to financially support our son and I am able to stay home with him and take care of him every day. I would not change anything about the timing of having my child. I love my life and my family. Just because you waited 5 years longer than me does not make you a better mom or make you have a better life and it is not a shame like you stated above.

Answer 10

I think that the many responses have exposed that your "rant" is heavy on judgment and that many women under the age of 25 are perfectly happy with their young children. Allow me to pose a few questions:

You say that women should be having fun being a "woman" and not a "mom." Why is it that the two are opposed? Is it possible to be a woman and a mom and have fun? Or is it that your definition of fun is one that is sexually uncommitted and irresponsible? Or, is it that once a woman is a mother, she is no longer fun or desirable? What does this paradigm say about your views about what is fun, what is a woman, and what is a mother? To me, it sounds like you have set up the situation that once you are a mother, your "fun" life is over. More importantly, it also seems like you suggest that having a baby will force you to discard your schooling, career, travel experiences and your social education. I have only observed that happening if the mother chooses to neglect those fields. I went to college and saw a many well educated, well traveled, well rounded woman who were mothers as peers (therefore in their 20's), graduate students (who had kids in their 20's and were raising them while in school). I have seen women with children while traveling abroad. Why do you suppose that you think that a woman/mother's life stops when she has a child?

Furthermore, you stress that it is the woman's "lack of control" or ignorance that leads to births. Is this only births out of wedlock? What about the fathers? You suggest that having a child isn't an act that is thought through, tried for, and decided on by two adults.

I know many people who are in their 40's and are just now considering children. Could it be possible that, at the age of 27, you are awfully young to be making judgments as to when someone is too young to be having children.

Answer 11

Are you honestly wanting to know, or have you already decided that any explanation is going to be stupid and wrong?  If you've already made up your mind, this isn't really a question and is a rant.

In my case our decision to have a baby young (I was 20, almost 21 when he was born) was mostly for "religious" reasons.  We belong to a religion that values family.  One of the most important responsibilities we have is to have and raise children.  Yes, sometimes I wish we would have waited until we had both finished school before starting to have kids, but we're doing well and are overall happy with our lives.  While we don't have plans to have any more children soon, we have our 16 month old, have bought our first home, and are finishing up our degrees.  

In my opinion, those who "couldn't imagine wanting to change diapers & care for a baby at 23... when they should be having FUN, travelling & experiencing life as a woman not a mom" are ones that have different priorities than those who have children young.  Their priorities are on playing, and like you said having fun, not on doing something selflessly for someone else.  It's a different paradigm, and that's fine.

One positive side of having kids young is that you're younger when they grow up and move out.  Those who are waiting to have their kids until they are 30-40 are going to be nearing retirement age by the time their kids grow up and start their own lives.  I'll be younger than 40 when my son starts his own life.  :D

Answer 12

it's kind of a personal thing.. only You know what you want, and when.. Yes i agree with you that it's a lack of control with some.. I have a lot of friends pregnant right now (around 9) and all except 1 is under 25... I guess it's just getting younger and younger, & once they see their friend has a baby, they want one.. they don't think about not being able to go out & do things whenever you want...

Answer 13

Maybe it's a personal decision, such as your decision to 'wait'.  I had my first child at  3 days past my 24th birthday, married at 21, and that was MY CHOICE AND MY DECISION to do as I pleased.  I have no regrets.  Whats good for one person might not be good for the next.  Don't be so harsh to judge.

Answer 14

Why do you even care?

Answer 15

how unfortunate it is that someone who was blessed enough to be able to go to college can be so judgmental and ignorant about what it takes to be a good mother. maybe you weren't ready at 23, but someone with any amount of intelligence knows that everyone is different and while you were   ready at 26 to give birth to a child, many women are not ready until their 30's. and many women are ready at 20. consider that many are not so lucky as you to have opportunities to travel and have the kind of fun you talk about. all the fun i could ever afford i can enjoy more WITH my son than without. i'm glad that i'm not out having "fun" like the rest of the kids my age, their fun includes getting blacked out drunk and DUI's and STD's.

i may not have been completely financially ready for a baby at 21 years old...but i know now and i knew then that i was completely emotionally and mentally ready to have a child. i, like many mothers, believe i have the smartest, most well-mannered son in the world. i can say without a doubt that my son is much better behaved and developed than my aunts kids were at this age and she went to college and didn't have kids until after she graduated.

age does not determine the quality of mothering a woman can provide. i would expect someone who went to college to understand that everyone is different and not everyone wants the same things as you do. too bad they can't teach those things at any college, but i guess you have reinforced my belief that college does not = intelligence.

Answer 16

I guess some women just mature faster than others. I started my family when I was 21. For me, I was never interested in travelling, or having "fun". I have always wanted a family. And for me, when I found the right man, we got married and started a family right away. I couldn't be happier! Everyone has a different idea of when and how they want to start their families. It isn't fair to critsize people who genuinely want families before they are 25. It's actually kinda rude.

Answer 17

Maybe some women have their life planned out just as you sound like you had your life planned.  There is a time and season for everything.  Having a child between those ages doesn't mean that you are ruining your life.  I had my first child at the age of 20, my husband and I thought out our plan together before we had childrenI am now 25, and I have no regrets about having my oldest child at that age.  Who's to say that the women who have children in that age group is would not be prepared to give their child the best, as you say that you were when you had your son?  You never know what the person's situation might be.  If a pregnancy is planned then I'm pretty sure the person has something mapped out for their family's future.  Some people wait until a later age to have children, and end up finding out that they can't get pregnant.  You also have to look at the pro and cons of having child at an early age compared to an older age.  So don't be so quick to judge when you don't know what went into the person thought plan.  I think that women were made to multi-task.  With the way that technology is today we can do anything.  You can always finish school on-line, and wouldn't it be fun traveling as a family.  Why would having a child early cut any of those things out.  I guess it is to each's own.  : )

Answer 18

Just because some people put their career before having a child doesn't mean everyone has to. I'm 21, married, and hope to get pregnant soon. This is what I want to do with my life. I want to have children, raise them, care for them and do everything i can for them. And i will not be sending my child off to daycare while i go to work. No, i will be there with my children raising them like a mom should.  What makes you think that women 18-24 aren't as prepared to have a child as older women?

Also the fact that I'll only be in my early 40's when my child graduates high school is great!  

Answer 19

excuse me but I am 23, happily married, and expecting a baby boy in 8 weeks! Things couldn't be better for us right now. I am very happy. Not everyone wants to be out partying and it may have taken you til 25 to finish your education, but not me.  

Answer 20

I'm finished with my college, I'm in a fantastic marriage, I own my home, I'm happy, and we wanted to share our love with a child. I don't think it's a smart idea for most young women to have a child before their mid-20's, but for others, it's a blessing.  

Answer 21

Everyone is different.

I got to travel and do all sorts of things in my life.

I am 17 and pregnant.

I couldn't be happier.

Ignorance? not even

I want to be able to see my child have children and if i wait too long I won't.

Answer 22

Wow, I hope your children don't get your judgmental genes! For your information, I along with many other amazing moms, had their children young. I was 23 with my first and am still "having fun" as you say now that I am a mother of 2 children. It's not the age that matters, it's the maturity level. Apparently yours is not exactly where it should be to have children.  

Answer 23

Well I had my son when I was just two months shy of my 24th birthday and I feel like it was the perfect age.  My husband and I want a four or five kids and I don't want to be in my mid thirties and still having kids.  The older you are the more complications are possible for you and your baby.  Your body is physically best suited for child birth in your early 20's.  Also I look at my parents who were done having kids at 22 and now have such a great life.  They did the diapers and stuff when they were really young, but now they are in their forties, have longer vacation time to take from work and travel all over.  They don't have to worry about anything!  

Answer 24

well from my personal experenice my girlfriend and I had our first born at 20&19 but it was a surpirse. I beleave that the reason we our having kids so early is the lack of safe s*x. Granted that my frist child was a surprise. Lots of young people are having unsafe s*x and the lack of birth control.

Answer 25

That is great for you and yay for you for doing what you wanted to do with your life. Maybe you should have the same respect for people who want to be mothers. I finished my education at 22, got married at 22, and will have my baby in Nov at the age of 23. I am fully prepared to give my son the best as well. Why are you able to give your son any better at 27 than I am at 23? I don't have any more going to school to do and I am very educated. I also had tons of fun in college trust me I had the fun I should have had in a life time. However,  who are you to say that fun ends when you become a mother? That is a very naiive and cynical way to look at becoming a mom. My husband was born in Germany, lived half his life in Sweden and has visited 25 countries. I have visited 12 myself. I believe we have traveled a good bit. Once again who is to say you can't travel with children? In fact, I think we will be doing our son a great service by brining him along to visit other countries and experience cultures instead of doing everything before he is a part of our lives. It is amazing that you say I am wrong for being 23 and wanting to care for a baby. I have as much love to give a child as you do and in fact I have a lot lower number of narrow minded views to pass on to my son. It doesn't seem as if you are any more mature or have any more life experience than a 23 year old so help the world and try not to teach your child the same discriminating views.

Answer 26

Im 23(24 next month) I have a beautiful 5 week old daughter and im finished my education,have travelled & will continue to travel.  I own my car, me and my boyfriend bought our house.  we are so happy ....whats so wrong with that?

everyone is different....why should you look down on people because were not like you?  thats fairly ignorant

Answer 27

Because people want to have kids when they still have energy.  lol

Answer 28

Oh my...

What's so wrong with a married 23 year old woman (like myself) having a baby???

I am certainly old enough to know what I'm doing with my life.

Just because you did things a certain way, doesn't mean that everyone should do the same.

Answer 29

I'm a lot like you.  I finished college at 23, got married at 24 and also had my first 2 months shy of my 27th birthday.  I'm 30 now and my 2nd is 4 months old.  I don't think I could have done it when I was younger and am glad I waited because I feel ready and my husband and I got to grow up through are early 20's together and have fun, travel, finish college, etc., which have been a lot more difficult with kids.  I have no regrets now and I'm totally in mommy mode and proud of it.  

Answer 30

Some women are born to have babies, and are married have a good life. My best friend is married has her degree, has her own house, and she is pregnant with her first. (she is 23)Just because you finished your eduation so late doesnt mean everyone else has. Also some women dont need to be having fun like partying and traveling. Also you can have fun experience life and travel even if you are a mother. My ex's parents just had a baby and they are going to bermude. How is it wrong, its people like you that make people like me ashamed (Im not anymore but i was when i was pregnant) to have a baby young. I am 20 I can provide a great life for my daughter with my eduation and my experience in life. Why judge!? It doesnt matter what age a person is when they bare a child, its how they are as a parent.

Its just like society to shake their hands at young mothers. To me its the same thing as telling people yuo have to be thin in order to be pretty. Stop judging people. As long as the baby is getting what it needs and the mothers are happy, why does it matter if they are 23 or 35? For someone who is only 27 you are immature.  

Answer 31

I am a 24 year old mother of a two month old and fiance to a very understanding man and I  have no regrets. After high school I joined the Army. I have traveled many places and had the opportunity to serve in Iraq. I'm currently in school majoring in Computer Science and already working in the IT field at a fortune 500 company. I still have fun now. My fiance and I both take turns hanging out with our friends. As far as traveling goes, we travel all the time since our families to do not live in the same town (let alone my family doesn't even live in the same state).