Why are they having a 2nd child?

Question

Found out that my husband's friend is having a 2nd child. The wife wants to be a stay-at-home mom. They'll be living off about $35 K a year. I don't know what they're thinking. Why do people insist on a sibling for their first child so much that they're willing to leave a trailer park for even worse conditions than a trailer park? confused?

Answer 1

well, i suppose if you are really good at plannign it might work. for the sake of the child I hope it does!

Answer 2

Because they want another baby! Sometimes...the amount of money you have doesn't mean that you aren't qualified to have and love another child. Are they good to their first born? If so....then they will make ends meet.

Answer 3

it's their life after all! if you consider yourself a friend, you shouldn't judge them, accept their decision and their way of life. if you can't, then leave them alone. they have enough problems as it is without you criticizing their decision.

Answer 4

It might seem crazy but since you aren't in their shoes, and probably don't have every single detail about their situation, you shouldn't judge too harshly. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Even if they are making a huge mistake - it's theirs to make and really none of your business at all.

Answer 5

You sound REALLY snotty.....So what if you live in a nicer area, your hubby has two degrees.  If they were true friends you and your spouse wouldn't be growing apart from them b/c they live in a trailer so therefore must not take life seriously.  How bout they just want more kids and it's none of your business!!!  Some people find joy in their children instead of money and as long as those kids are raised to be good people, it doesn't matter where they're raised at!

Answer 6

I do agree, but I guess its their life. I don't feel 'poorish' people should miss out on the joys of having kids, but I recommend 2 being the limit.

I am dying for a 3rd baby, but we are building a house, so we have decided to wait and see how we go financially

Answer 7

hey i don't know what your problem is but people live on a lot less then that and if they are happy then that is all that matters just cause you have more and can do more don't get mad at them cause they are happy

you know my husband has a great job and gets over way over 100k a year and well we don't drive new cars our house is paid for our cars are paid for so instead of buying more newer things we keep the money so we can do more and i dont think i am any better then anyone else i like to have money to put up instead of paying every dime on things that are not nessacary

my car is a 2000 for focus we paid 3000.00 for it

my husbans truck is a 2002 ford ranger paid like 8000.00 for it

our house is a three bedroom 2 bath small house we paid 30,000.00 cash so we could fix it up and not be in debt for a house..

so sounds like they are happy and we did this so that we could have more money for our child so maybe they are thinking a little better then you are

Answer 8

$35 K a year would be a blessing!  I don't know why you think that amount wouldn't sustain a family with two babies.  My husband and I both had factory jobs (automotive) before our daughter was born.  I got laid off after I went back, so I quit to become a stay at home Mom.  My husband has lost 4 jobs in the last 6 months because of the auto slump and high gas prices.  He just got back into construction and was made a supervisor.  He only makes $30 K a year.  Since all the layoffs and job losses in the last few months he's only brought in $14 K in the last 7 months.  We're doing just fine.  I don't know why you think they'd have to be in a trailer park either.  We live in a pretty safe neighbourhood with a couple of fast food places on the main road, one department store, one utility store and a Donut shop and corner store.  We also have an elementary school and high school.  We choose not to have a car because everything is so close by and if we have to go across town for something, we take a bus for $2 each (about twice a month).  

This is our budget a month:

Rent  $875

Hydro/water/sewage $150

Oil Heat $60

DSL internet and phone $80

(with messaging and call waiting)

Groceries $150

Bus/travel/misc $100

Eating out once a month $30

Hubby brings in about $2000 a month (sometimes more or less) and our total bills are about $1500 a month.  We save the rest usually or take a short trip somewhere out of town every three months when we rent a car.  

We have a 21 month old and a baby due in Sept.  I have enough clothes until 2010 (she'll be 3 1/2 and he'll be 2).  I have all my baby things still.

Our home is 3 bedrooms and has a medium sized back yard with a park near by.  

We don't suffer for anything and I really don't see how you think that living off that much is a bad thing or an unaffordable thing.  Not all people have to have great and nice new things nor do they all have to have the best of the best.  I live my life debt free and I can buy pretty much whatever I want, so I'd say I'm in a better boat than most.

EDIT:  We live in town in the middle of nowhere with 30 000 people and the unemployment rate is above 8%.  You can smell the cow p**p all over town when they spread it!

EDIT:  I did buy all of my baby clothes second hand, but from richer neighbourhoods.  I have clothes from gap, old navy, sears, carter's baby and other brand names that I can't afford to buy for my baby.  I could still buy nice clothes in my price range, but why not get them second hand for brand names?  My daughter is currently very well dressed and does not want for anything.  If anything my daughter has way too much stuff and could likely live without half the toys she does have.

Answer 9

Why are they having a 2nd child?

Why shouldn't they? It's their lives, their priorieties.

As long as they are happy and the children are too, God bless them.

How many childen do you have?

Answer 10

Some people have different priorities in life. To many people making money and having lots of it isn't really that important. Quite honestly, I have 2 kids and am a stay at home mom most of the time. My hubby makes between 40 and 45k per year and we make it just fine. We both worked jobs with high earning potential before and then we realized that we would much rather be happy than wealthy. I think that maybe you are the one that has your priorities backwards. If they aren't hurting anyone then why do you care?

Answer 11

Who are you to judge?  We have 2 (soon to be 3) children and we live on even less than that...yet we still have a nice home, decent cars, a dog, and no one is suffering.  Unless they are living outside their means (meaning they are spending more on petty useless stuff then they can afford) there is no reason.  And sometimes being a stay at home mom is cheaper than getting a job.  Where we live, the standard jobs available pay $8 an hour, with childcare costing $125-$200 per week per child, so even if I worked 40 hours a week, and got the cheap end child care, I would be paying $250 per week until my third child arrives, then $375 a week, yet my income would only be $320 a week before taxes, so we would lose money.  Not to mention gas and other expenses of working (ie-wardrobe).  

Its one thing to be concerned, but if they have it figured out than you really shouldn't judge.  Unless they are horrible parents to their first child, there is no reason they can't "afford" a second child.  Money and degrees does not equal happiness...just becuase someone chooses a different path than that does not mean they think life is a joke.  Maybe their priorities are different.  Maybe instead of getting that degree they wanted a family first.  Maybe they are perfectly happy and content where they are, and that is what true happiness is.  I found that people who are so worried about money and degrees and what they have to show for it are conceited, self centered, and really don't know what true happiness is.

Answer 12

A family of 4 can survive on $35k a year just fine without govt assistance. What is the big deal? If they can afford it let them be. Why would you assume $35k would put a family in "worse than a trailer park"?

I live in a major college town and could easily make a budget for a family of 4 for that much money per year... including mortgage payments on a 3 bedroom home.

Answer 13

I raised 2 children on 20K a year as a single mom.  Unless theya re constantly asking you for money you should stay out of it, unless you have something constructive to say that could help them with their decision.  Being a Judgy McJudgerson doesn't do anyone any good.

Answer 14

I think you are being way judgemental.  I do it and I DON"T live in a trailer park.  I actually live in a great house and I am a Stay-at-Home-Mom...My husband makes about 30k a year and we are doing great.  No debt and nice stuff.  Maybe first back off and stop judging others and y ou can see it can work.

Answer 15

Regardless of the reason, it's not your business.

Answer 16

it's called Freedom of Choice...

well I read your UPDATE... so here is Mine;

you guys are sooo much better than them.... were you friends out of pity? ya know what.... they just might LOVE Life & each other alot more than you & yours!

Answer 17

Since when does money account for good parenting?  The focus is not on how much money they make or where they live, but how well they parent the children.  Are the basic needs for love, shelter, and nourishment being met?   More difficult to meet on a lower income, but to some people $35K is a lot (more than a beginning teacher in Oklahoma gets paid).

Answer 18

Because they are more interested in having babies then being good parents? (if they can't provide for them) .

if they can make it work, then great. I don't recommend giving them money though! lol