Why are women insecure and nervous that men won't like them?

Question

Why do girls typically seem shy and nervous around boys and full of self doubt that boys will like them?

Considering that virtually all media presses the point that males lust after females and want females more than anything else, shouldn't girls rest easy with the confidence that almost every guy they meet wants them?

Answer 1

The same can be said about boys/men who get nervous too.  It's a natural emotion to be lacking self confidence in some situations.

Answer 2

Maybe because there are more females than males.  There's quite a huge selection for guys to choose from when looking for a mate, but for us women the selection is much smaller.  So when we finally find a guy that we like we get scared that he'll choose another girl (since there's so many available) rather than us.

Answer 3

Girls maybe-women are not insecure and nervous that "men won't like them". lol  Thanks for the laugh!

Answer 4

I think initial relationships can be awkward. Maybe a woman has been hurt before, so she's tentative at first. Reserved, silent, confidence is cool. Way better to have it than not.

Answer 5

I think you've answered your own question by saying 'girls' and 'boys'. These aren't adults.

Answer 6

I think that insecurity and low self esteem can effect both men and women, we live in a culture where we are used to competition and have more choices than ever before, and every human being wants to feel special and loved.

I understand what you are saying about the media, but at the same time, the media puts a huge pressure on women to look and act in certain ways and plays on any insecurities people have - anti-aging products, fickle fashion trends, shallow marketing and products that guarantee weight loss/health and beauty.  

Perhaps the media, as you have identified, shows that males lust after females - does this reassure or enhance anxiety for women? Perhaps it feels like a competitive market place. Perhaps nasty comments from previous men and relationships make women feel less than adequate.

Consider this also - can women be taken seriously as people in their own right rather than objects that rely upon appearance over ability and s*x rather than substance?

Many thanks, hope you find some good answers too! x

Answer 7

Well I do not believe the media is always right, I know of several women most men wouldn't want unless they were the last woman on Earth do to both hateful attitudes and appearing to not care about why they look like or their health.

I think women become insecure for the same reasons men become insecure.  I think for the most part there is a fear of rejection, that they are not good enough.  But even as a very happily married woman I get a bit starstruck in front of attractive men (though not stars).  I suppose I am simply taking in their beauty and a bit preoccpied.

Answer 8

Because they ARE INSECURE to begin with.

Answer 9

You are talking about children: "boys" and "girls" qualify as children.  Maybe you should post this in the Parenting section.