Why are women so mean?

Question

I work with three other women, one is the supervisor and she seems oblivious to everything. The other two are openly mean to me telling snide jokes about me in front of me, thinking that I do not get it. It is just plain mean. I have tried everything to fit in and be nice to these women, but nothing works. What can I do??

Answer 1

Well...those girls are mean. I think they probably see u as competition, which in fact has to please u. Don't worry, do your best, don't stop to study, look for another job if u don't enjoy that one anymore. A job place does not have to be an hostile place to you.

Answer 2

Why are women so mean?  Any answer I give to that, from a workplace perspective,  will be reported, despite the truth.  I have worked with female workplace bullies before, and it is very hard to get anything done about them: there is the whole anti-discrimination apparatus and PC movement there to protect them.  Even though they are wrong.

Keep a diary of their behaviours, and get witnesses if possible.  You could also record what they say to you.  I had to do this against a workplace bully once, and it was the only evidence I had to overcome the inevitable HR brush off of "he said/she said".  

Whatever you do, you must never respond in kind: that will be professional suicide.

I really hope it all works out.  I have a deep contempt for bullies in any arena.  If you want more info on how I dealt with it, my email is open.

EDIT:

As regards the oblivious manager, put it in writing, keep a copy, and keep bugging her.  She is not to allow this to continue: it is workplace harassment.  She can become liable for any stress and loss of work productivity on your part.

Answer 3

Sometimes, being nice doesn't do anything because that makes them want to take advantage of you more. Have you tried telling them to stop making those remarks? What have they said?

Or hey..you can say something smart-*** back if your supervisor is oblivious.

Answer 4

They are not jealous, nor are they intimidated by you. The bottom line is most women are nasty hateful creatures when it comes to dealings with our own gender! We love to be the pack leader and they will crush you on a personal level to accomplish this. Its funny to me when I hear women say, "if women ruled the world there wouldn't be any war." BULLS**T

Go to your local high school and see how kind females are!!

Answer 5

Suggestion - say "I'm right here!!" or "HAHAHAHAHA - really funny! No really, it is sooo funny that you sit here and make fun of me while I am listening. And oh yeah, I'm writing this down for HR, so keep them coming!" Wipe a tear, like you were laughing so hard that you cried.

Answer 6

In the work place you ignore them unless it affects your work.....and then you take it to the supervisor to handle.

You don't go to work to make friends....if that happens good....if it doesn't.....then you do your work and go home.

Answer 7

Sorry about those women teasing you ! Some women can be major B's sometime. I wish I was your friend, I would scare the living h**l out of them. As long as they dont have the guts to insult you to their face, then shrug it off. Because they are cowards, making those sneaky remarks. But if they say it to your face, let'em have it by telling them off, or tell your supervisor. (d**n, I wish I was your friend, I tell'em off for ya, because I cant stand mean cliques like that!!)

But feel good, because the only ones I've seen mean woman do like that, are the women who are prettier than them. So, if they are taking the time to make sneaky remarks about you, then feel good because you have your act together. I'm assuming you're very beautiful, intelligent, and liked by many. So, ignore them and keep doing your thang. If you continue to just be nice, you will find that you will feel much better about the situation and their stupid remarks. And even more than that, you will have the sense of victory and triumph. And I guarantee over time, they will begin to attempt to be your friend, but by then you will probably be so popular, you wont need their fake asses as friends. Because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU ARE SUPER s**y, so brush those haters off, and keep it moving, s**y momma!!!

DO YA THANG!!!!!!

Answer 8

If you are a well-balanced and normal woman (not instilled with radical feminism) then I suggest just ignoring them.  They aren't worth your time.

Answer 9

Only evil, antisocial, narcissistic, sociopathic, psychopaths are which exactly 1% of the female race.

These f---ing broads you're talking about are evil, antisocial, narcissistic, sociopathic, psychopaths WATCH OUT!

I know because I've been there before in your position.

Answer 10

they are jelouse of you!!!!!!!

Answer 11

Get a backbone and let your know you understand their "jokes".  Why would you want to fit in and be nice to these women?  This is not high school, you do not have to be friends with everyone, you just have to carry out your duties.

Answer 12

crack a few jokes, smile, and compliments go a long way :)

Answer 13

it's the power trip. They have a little authority and they think they are superior.  Get an education, get a position higher than them, and fire their butts!

Answer 14

Repeatedly bring it up to the manager.  Past that, go work somewhere that has mostly men.  Way less drama and cattiness.

Answer 15

Women who do that to other women, and in such an upfront manner are only showing their insecurities, they feel threatened by you, by one or all your qualities; it could be the way you look, how smart or friendly you are, how effficient you are. So, just ignore them, they're just making a fool of themselves, they just don't know it.

Answer 16

Bullies always know who to pick on don't they? Stand up for yourself....these girls will only bully you if you let them.

Next time they say something to offend you make sure they know it, say "Ok, this has gone far enough, one more snide joke and I'll take it up with the boss/supervisor"....and mean it.

Answer 17

In this life, some people simply won't like you no matter what you do.  There's really nothing you can do about it except to not let it bother you.  (It's something that everyone has to deal with.  It's not fair, but it IS fact.)

Edit:  Try the direct approach if nothing else is working.  Tell them you understand what they're saying, you don't like it and if they don't stop you'll go HR about it.  Then follow through if they don't stop.  

Just remember though: you don't have to take these people home with you, you just have to work with them.  As long as you're professional about it, you don't have much to worry about, job-wise.  

(If one of these hostile women is your supervisor, then chances are she isn't going to give you a good reference anyways regardless of what you do.  So you don't really have a lot to lose by taking the chance here.)

Answer 18

some people are just like that. its nothing to do with a persons s*x. alot of people get comfort in making others look bad or making fun of them. it makes them feel superior and bonds them with other people.

two options. one, u can ignore them and let them be. or u can make a complaint about them.

my other option u wont like. ive come across someone who has pissed me of at work. my way of dealing with them? lets just say, i find violence solves alot of problems.

Answer 19

Girls can be jealous and can easily take advantage over you.  Don't let it get you down.  Still be nice to them even if they are not nice to you.  Say a comment about there clothing or their hair (even if it is ugly and you don't like), eventually they will warm up to you.  If it still does not work, talk to your supervisor about them and what they are doing.

Answer 20

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