Why are women still so traditional about weddings?

Question

I don't mean to suggest that men aren't traditional. But the wedding day is often designed and planned by the woman, hence my question...

A friend of mine and her boyfriend are getting engaged. They've apparently already discussed it, including how many people to invite. So they both know they're getting married.

Yet she says "He is still going to have to ASK me".... I said "If someone has to ask, why don't you ask him?" and she looked at me like I just scooped p**p with her handbag.

"No! We have to do it properly!" was her answer.

She's planning on the white dress, too, despite the fact that I doubt she's virginal... The diamond ring... the whole shebang.

I've never had any interest in weddings, despite being quite 'girly', and I can't relate to this. What makes me most curious is WHY many women are so attached to the old gender roles when it comes to proposals and weddings...

Thoughts?

Answer 1

It's just a cultural/traditional/popular thing to do.

Most women have a mix of traditional and modern elements. Some go with entirely modern weddings and some don't. A lot of women enjoy the look and feel of traditional weddings. It's just a matter of personal preference.

Also white wedding dresses weren't put in place because of virginal values. Before the Victorian era it was acceptable in Western civilizations for a woman to wear any color but black(symbol of mourning) and red(symbol of prostitution) The white wedding dress became highly popular after Queen Victoria wore a white dress so she could incorporate some white lace she owned into it. It was later suggested that white was a representation of one's virginity but originally it didn't start as that.

Western civilizations today, while still rooted in many traditions, are vastly stepping away from the "normal and traditional" wedding. Many women propose to their husbands. Many brides wear veils but almost none cover their face. Many brides incorporate colors into their dress. The styles are vastly different and more provocative. But some people will still always enjoy the "traditional" aspect of weddings/proposals.

Answer 2

just because it's more romantic that way...but that's just me

Answer 3

Probably because you get c**p from people when you try to be non-traditional.

Answer 4

im the same i like everything to be traditional including the man proposing to me. just because its the most special day in a women's life i think we just all want it to be perfect and done properly.

Answer 5

I think it's for the same reason some people who don't usually go to church come out for the big holidays. Some people like tradition and ceremony.

Of course, that girls are still being raised to expect that the pinnicle of their lives will be their prince showing up to sweep them away and make babies might be part of why so many young women buy into the mythology surrounding weddings. :)

Answer 6

I am not sure, but I don't see an issue with it.  I suppose it is simply a matter of preferences and beliefs.  It isn't doing any harm so there is no right or wrong.

Answer 7

i don't have the diamond ring although i did wear white, mainly because i never do ;) I got married in City Hall and it was the best thing i ever did the day was about me and my husband not guests or invites or anything else. I don't know why other people are attracted to the traditional wedding at all although i do know people who have felt forced to follow that route, to keep their families happy.

For those who enjoy the big wedding I say good for them and have a ball

Answer 8

Hmm.  I'm all for a nice wedding myself, but I'm not exactly traditional about it.

Then again, I am marrying a woman so that might have something to do with the lack of gender role attachment.

Answer 9

Usually it is the woman's family who pays for the wedding unless the couple choses to toss aside tradition and bear the cost, the host and hostess (parents of the bride) typically make the final decisions.

As for the virginal white dresses, this is a "tradition" that reverts back to Queen Victoria.  Before her, brides wore any color that suited them.  Since Queen Victoria, most brides have worn white.  This makes it easier for most brides to pick a dress and keep the cost of a wedding dress lower.

Lots of life's event have these traditions which bring a level of comfort to all.  There is the white of weddings, pastels for babies and black for funerals.

Answer 10

My wedding was anything but traditional. The guest were set in a circle around us. The bridesmaids came in at all different directions. My husband broke our communion glass after we drank from it(Jewish Tradition and we are both German). We rode on a hayrack wagon to our reception. We were married under a canopy adorned with both our mother's wedding veils. We were married at my family's ancestrial farm. All our grandparents sat in rocking chairs on the front porch and the grandmothers wore their wedding veils. Completely unique.

My parents basically planned my wedding. I didn't mind because they both have good taste and a wedding is supposed to be ag gift from them to their daughter.

Most women dream of the day that their boyfriends will get on one knee and ask them the question they have waited for all their lives. They wouldn't want to be the one on one knee.

Answer 11

It's girls who grow up with stories of fairytale weddings and for the first approx.10 years of their life, they dream of that sort of love story.  So it's not a dream that's likely to disappear when it always seems so magical.  Why would you want it to?

Men tend to see the more long-term issues of marriage from the start so don't really consider the tradition, which is fine as the women are all excited about the big day!

Answer 12

The wedding industry is huge.  It invests hundreds of millions of dollars in convincing women that their wedding days is the most important, happiest day of their life.  Television and movies emphasize huge weddings as symbols of true love and happiness.  In short, the media has worked hard and invested an incredible amount of cash in convincing generations of women that their wedding is important, and the bigger the wedding, the better.  I think this is best seen with the younger generation - those of us who are older are less likely to have been brainwashed.  I got married in a mansion converted to a B&B.  My sister's reception was held above the garage where her husband worked.  It was good enough for us.  The younger women in my office insist on huge shindigs that they can't afford, because they think that's traditional and teh way it has to be done.

Answer 13

It's because our mamas raised us that way. Besides must ladies like to dress up, at least once in their lives. Also estrogen has something to do with it:-)

Answer 14

They want to be a princess for a day just like in all the Disney films. Maybe?

Answer 15

what would propose we do to replace the traditional ways of matrimony? What's wrong with a woman still wanting to have a man (out of respect) get down on one knee and ask her to marry him? Why is so hard to understand that the doing things the traditional way means a lot more to some people then it does too others.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not attacking you, I'm not married either. But when (and if) I do get married, I would like things to be done the old fashion way.