Why are you infavor of long engagement? why not?

Question

please answer..thanks!

Answer 1

Its different for everyone. I have had a long engagement, a little over 2 yrs. Getting married in 9 weeks. We put ours off for so long because it's expensive to have a wedding and we wanted to pay for it all ourselves but we have 2 children and they are higher on the list of priorities when it comes to finances. Now after waiting, the time has come for us and we still love each other more than ever. We've grown stronger together as partners and parents.

Answer 2

It all depends. If a couple has been together for years then a long engagement doesn't make sense unless they're giving themselves time to save the money. On the other hand, if a couple has only been together for a short time, a long engagement is a good idea. You need to be 100% certain before making such a serious comitment.

My fiance and I are having a long engagement simply because we think it's silly to be in debt over a wedding so we're taking the time to save.

Answer 3

I takes time to know each other deeply.

Do remember marriage is an agreement whereby paper are signed and vows are made which need time for evaluation.

Broken marriage cause problem to children and also the dividing of assets and finances.

So is better to be sure than sorry

Answer 4

I agree with everyone who answered against long engagements.  I feel that you should already know a person before you start considering marrying them (or proposing, in the guy's case), and the whole "getting to know" excuse is c**p.  I think a year-1.5 years max is fine, because you can already start planning once you get engaged.  But I know some friends of friends that have set wedding dates for 2010, and they got engaged two years ago!  To me, that's not really being engaged.

Answer 5

No. I think a couple should be sure of one another before they get engaged, then the engagement period just should be long enough to plan a wedding. Average time seems to be a year.

Answer 6

getting to know people should be left for the dating part!! LOL if you are getting engaged to get to know someone , you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Engaged means , will you marry me?  not , will you waer this ring for 3204598234 years until im ready to marry you.

Answer 7

I'm in favor of a long "courtship" or dating to get to know the person and his/her character, etc. I'm in favor of a short engagement because by the time you've reached the point where you know them well enough to know you want to marry this person, it's hard to wait.  

Answer 8

If you're going to marry someone, you should KNOW from the get-go that they're the one.

That being, said, what is the point of waiting forever to get married?

**** If premarital s*x is involved, it takes al least two years to determineif the feelings are lust or love. If that's the case, the couple should date at least two years before getting engaged. An engagement should be just that:  A date to get married. If it's 2008 and your wedding date is in say... 2011, you're not engaged. You're dating.  

Answer 9

it is better to know the person first. Usually the early days are the days when a person wants to impress the other gender.

Answer 10

We're waiting two years before tying the knot. I'm not sure if most consider that a normal or long engagement.

For us it was an issue of needing time to plan. In our area some places have already taken 2010 bookings. 2 years will give us time to really think about what we want and where we need to go to get it.

The other issue is money. We're paying for the wedding ourselves and it will take about 2 years to comfortably put away the money we need.  

Answer 11

Our engagement is about 1-1/2 years.  It has given me time to plan and to take my time doing it.  I don't feel rushed or hurried to find vendors or anything I want.  I have gotten all the vendors I love because they are not booked yet.  Plus it gives my fiancee and I time to talk and get used to the next stage of our life and iron out kinks.

Answer 12

Long engagements are good in certain situations- for example, if the couple have been dating less than a year before getting engaged, I think a long engagement is good so they really get to know each other before getting married. It's also good if the couple are very young and need to finish college, save money, etc. Likewise, if an older couple are keen to get married before having children, they might have a shorter engagement, as there may be less chance of having children as the years go by.

The length of engagement depends on a lot of factors and is different for every couple.

Answer 13

My boyfriend and I have already agreed that we will not live together until next year, and wait at least a year after that to get engaged. I want about a year long engagement, so we are looking at a 3 years courtship before saying "I Do" and then at least 2 more years after that before starting a family.

Even though he is 4 years older than me (I'm 25, he's 29), we want to take things slow. If you figure it out, we won't get engaged until he is at least 31, married at 32, and children around 34.  

Answer 14

When a relative announced her 'engagement'- and said that she was going to get married in two and a half years, a friend of mine summed it up really well:

'Anything longer than a year, and you are not 'engaged'- you are dating and wanting attention. '

Thats what I think. Enagaged means you are about to get married, anything longer than a year is nothing- a vague plan, which lots of people in committed relationships have anyway.

Strongly against long engagements. Getting to know people is fine- its called 'dating'!  

Answer 15

in favor-

1. it makes one another more compatible

2. getting to know each others good/bad habits,likes/ dislikes

3. gives more time for changing your own habits as well as your partners to suit yourself/ partner

4.if there are fights and you want to break up, you can do it cleanly

Answer 16

Im in favor of a long engagement because it gives you time to really get to know that person, save for money, etc... As for why not, statistically with a long engagement, your chance of actually marrying the person decreases every 6 months you are engaged.  

Answer 17

Anything longer than a year of dating and another of engagement is too long. It shows that the couple are not particularly keen to advance to the next stage.

Answer 18

with the divorce rate above 60% do you even need to ask this?!! lol

honestly, yes i'm all for it. my fiance and I have been dating for 3.5 years now and we just barely got engaged this past month. our wedding was planned for october of this year but we extended it another year (same date just 2009 instead). this way, all of our financial issues are out of the way and we aren't so stressed out.

money and communication are the biggest breakdowns in a marriage. alot of people's money problems don't come out right away when dating.

same goes for communication. in the beginning, people are trying to impress their partners so the "real" them won't come out for months.

learning how to tackle finances and communicating about real issues (kids, beliefs on manging money, etc) needs to be accomplished long before getting married.

case in point: my fiance and I just attended his sister's wedding this past May. they have been dating for 2 years and living together for one. she has a 4 year old son from previous marriage. they had some minor issues prior to the wedding (husband needed better job, help with house work, etc) but I guess they didn't make sure it was sorted out before the wedding. here we are 3 months after and they are fighting like cats and dogs. She has cancelled buying the new house they were to purchase together b/c he refuses to get a better job to help pay the bills.

hope this helps!!