Why aren't I happy? What am I doing wrong?

Question

I've got what I need, single, and an okay family. But for some reason, I'm not as happy as I used to be. Maybe I'm just nervous because school's coming up. Last year, school was h**l. I dunno.

I don't why?

It's just that people are always praised for what good they do. But numerous times I did good things, not even one thank you. Instead I'm criticized just for being good. I know I shouldn't expect some thanks, but when you see how much other get praise, you just want a taste of it too.

Can someone help? I don't know what's wrong with me.

Answer 1

People are just unappreciative!

Answer 2

Do things for yourself, not for other people.  If you do things just for praise, you will be disappointed.  If you do things just for the sake of doing them, for the sake of a job well done, you will be happy.  Don't be a codependent people pleaser!

Answer 3

When you do something right and want to be acknowledged for it, tell the people closest to you. A new year in a school that was h**l will play with your feelings. Don't let them. When you know you've done things right, pat yourself on the back. If people don't appreciate what you do then they are simply stupid.  

Answer 4

We can't know happiness without knowing sorrow...just as there can't be good without bad (evil)...boredom is the main problem with kids today, with so many "fun" things out there, you easily miss certain activities or experiences.  To quote Dennis Leary..."Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second o****m. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to f***ing work the next morning,"

Like he says...small doses, we can't be happy all the time.

Answer 5

nothing is wrong with you. i think people just have high expectations of you.

Answer 6

With me it praise has always been kind of a joke.  When I do something (I thought was) great that I poured a lot of effort into, I hear nothing.  Then I do something I thought was meaningless and simple and people give me praise.  It leads me to think you are many times more likely to get a 'thank you' for holding a door open than for saving a life.

"Don't worry what other people think" isn't just advice for those who want to be weird--it's also advice for people who try too hard to be liked.  You do need to see what people think of you, but you can't rely on this.  You have to decide for yourself which of your actions are good ones for you to take.  Doing everything to hear praise will just make you into a flake--you'll wind up with less brains than a politician.

Answer 7

You sound bored of something. Maybe you need a vacation !

Answer 8

Welcome to the Club.  Life sucks but you'll get used to it after a while and dredge along like the rest of us.  We're all just waiting to die.

Answer 9

dude from what youve said its easy to tell your young... dont worry about the good you do now... just make sure that the good doesnt stop... it should be your motivation to strive and do more good....  hate not being appreciated as well... you can do 1 million things right but the one thing u do wrong ... ur the devil... just hang in there...continue the good... as long as you know your doing good thats the most important. and just think... there arent that many people that can say they have done good things.

Answer 10

What you are doing wrong is thinking that you need to be happy. You don't.

Answer 11

First off, I'm in the same boat.  You get used to it.  But one of the most important things you'll need to learn is how to pay attention to the good things in life, such as your own achievements.  Most people naturally give a brief smile or less to something they achieve, especially if they achieve it often.  They seem to obsess more on 'failures' like a 98 instead of a 100 or other perceived faults.  Or as you and I, they focus on what they think they deserve (praise from others) and get jealous.  But humans are naturally attracted to change.  If you get great grades all your life, people won't be too interested (unless they just met you) because nothing is changing.  What is more interesting is that the kid who was just skimming by his whole life had just jumped up ten points.  What we should learn to do is appreciate our achievements and celebrate them.  We will never feel we've had enough praise until we ourselves appreciate our own achievements.  Also, it may be one of the most difficult things in the world to learn, but we must learn to be happy for others' achievements, even when we believe they are better than us.

Answer 12

Maybe you are being a little to OVER sensitive, and some times when you get like this you analise things way too DEEP.

You are quiet feel in a little unappreciated, spk to ur Parents I'm sure they will listen if your open or honest, or just go up and give them a Hug, Your Lucky to have a good Family.

Life is too Short to be SAD , :-)

Answer 13

you need one thing... God

Answer 14

Although you don't get praise as much as others, that may just mean you're constantly doing impressive things, so it's not so surprising to others when you accomplish something or do something good.  

Answer 15

Well happiness is a choice. You have to learn to be happy even if the people around you are trying to keep you from being happy. You just have to want it. And for the criticized for doing good things, thing, try not to excpect to be praised and then it wont affect you as much when you aren't. Good luck on finding happiness.  

Answer 16

why don't you just volunteer, it will make you feel good to help ppl and to see them smile...sometimes just knowing you did good yourself, its a good thing

and you are probably just unhappy because of the last school year that happens belive me i don't want to go back to school either

but hey just think of it like this you are ogoin back to finish

hope ive helped;-)

Answer 17

Wow, you kind-of look like me...

Yeah, school is like that.

All I can say is, Join the club.

Answer 18

Focus on the good in your life.  Quit expecting things for the good you do, and one day you will be surprised.  Don't let the apathy of others deaden your enthusiasm and good nature!!!  Good luck.

Answer 19

yesterday i read this guys advice he said " when you feel down, or life isn't going your way you need to surroud yourself with positive people." it seems like you could do with that.

also, i appreciate all of the good that you do. you are making the world a better place by placing others needs above your own. thank you.

Answer 20

People will never validate your good deeds, you are expecting them to care/notice but they never will (sometimes a few do, find them!).

The people who are screwed up get the attention- I know it sucks.

You do good because you (and God,big stuff,whatever) knows that it's good and the right thing to do. This should bring some comfort.

This stranger is very proud of you!

Answer 21

nothing is wrong its just narrow minded ignorant people you will end up on the top side soon enough just stay good ;)  

Answer 22

You need religion.  Hear me out.  It's shown in studies that religious people are happier than non-religious people.  

Answer 23

i don't know i'm in the same situation..but I always though it was because I'm single that I'm not happy.....if you get any good replies let me know

Answer 24

Life gets you down, but you have to do little things to get excited and your adreniline pumping!  I suggest:

1. Get your hair done - a style, and color if needed, by someone who really knows what they're doing.  

2. Get your nails done - a manicure and pedicure - to feel beautifully groomed and ready for anything

With those 2 factors, you'll look great no matter what you have on. But let's not stop there:

3. Try a spray-on tan at a place that comes recommended. You usually get what you pay for, so check around and find the places which don't skimp on quality.  A tan will make you look

MUCH thinner - and you'll just glow.  

Avoid the ultra-violet rays.  I never put my hands under that ultra- violet nail-drying lamp at the tanning salon - what idiot came up with that idea? Hands need protection from harsh rays.

4. Take a look at your wardrobe and see where you need some classic pieces that can take you a long way. I'm talking about a short black skirt, or a bluejean shirt or skirt.

Anything in black, white, cream, khaki, or bluejean fabric can r eally be timeless and look good with everything.  Also - you look MUCH younger in these colors and fabrics!

5. Get a facial.  You can easily do this at home, too.  

6. Take a NAP.  Find a way not to be disturbed, and take a wonderful nap in the afternoon.  Even a catnap will make a huge difference.  Feeling rested makes a big difference in your mood and motivation.

Answer 25

You make your own happiness.  If you are not happy, it is your own fault.  Stop dwelling on the negative (other people are always praised and I'm not) and start looking at the positive.  Sounds like you have a jealousy issue with others getting praised.  Start being nice to yourself, appreciate yourself and don't worry about others.

Answer 26

dont worry about it and try to have some more fun

♥

Answer 27

I dunno. Maybe you worry too much about what others think. It's great that you're doing good things, but maybe you'd be happier if you did them for yourself, rather than for the praise you would get from other people.  

Answer 28

Do 100 good turns and you'll hear nothing. Make one mistake and you'll never hear the end of it!

Your problem is you need some success in life. Even small success.

Change something. Look at your room and decide how you can change it. Do it then feel the satisfaction of success. Make little goals daily, then feel the satisfaction of success.

Answer 29

Hun, you're a teenager. Everything is confusing and even good things seem crappy. And you have to learn to be happy for doing a good job or doing the right thing without getting praise. If you think it's rare now just wait until you get a job.

Anyway, try to find joy in simple things. Maybe join a club at school to make it more tolerable this year. Just keep your head up and know it'll be over before you know it.

Answer 30

I think you now deep down that doing good things is the right thing, but our generation praises the bad more than the good.

You should look deep down inside yourself and figure out what's really upsetting you. Like why do you need the thumbs up from other people in order to feel you're doing the right thing?

Sometimes happiness isn't easy to get; you have to work at it. Instead of wishing others would appreciate you, appreciate yourself, your life and the little things in life and slowly, you'll feel more happier :]

Hope this helps!

Answer 31

You already know the answer to your question.

You don't feel appreciated.  Introspect a little bit and you'll find your answer.