Why aren't any of the gentleman of my race?

Question

Where I live, most of the gentlemen are one race, while the bad lads are of another. I am, unfortunately, the same race with those of the bad lad, but grew up around the gentlemen. As a result, when the bad lads hit on me, MAJORITY of the time in a disrespectful manner, I get so turned OFF and ignore...I find myself drawn to the gentleman...and the bad lads call it "self hating" or "confused."

Why can't they see it's about TREATMENT and not RACE??

What should I do, if at all??

Answer 1

It appears that you are the  one who sees it as a race issue.  Unfortunately, you can't change the way these people were raised.  All you can do is pity them and move on.  Go out and ask people out who you are interested in.  You don't need to wait or someone to "hit on you".

Answer 2

If you are a dark skinned woman who is being treated badly by dark skinned men then you are not alone. I too have an aversion to getting involved with them they are too disrespectful and as a result I find myself attracted to men of a certain "race" and as a result of that people think I'm racist. I'm not racist I just don't like being mistreated.

Answer 3

There are gentlemen of your race...the problem for you is in finding them.  Most likely they are attracted to certain areas/events, etc.  Perhaps where you live, you mostly see one type.

There can be a huge cultural difference between  humans. Mostly it depends on where you were born-inner-city vs Suburbia. Basically you have to be more aggressive in certain areas to survive.

I'm not sure what you should do.  Being comfortable is a start.  This is a tough question.

Perhaps digging deep inside yourself, you can find the answer?  :)  Maybe you can date some gentlemen while looking for Mr. Right?

Good luck!!

Answer 4

If I could recommend: Try forgeting about "Race" and just concentrate on not selling yourself short so to speak, ignore the rude ones and concentrate on the gentlemen.

Answer 5

You don't need to explain yourself to them or do anything. The rejected men some of them who can't take their ego being  bruised will call you anything if you don't like them. I once was called a snob or a L*****n just because I didn't like them. Don't let it get to you. I think for some people though if they are raised around a certain group of people they are comfortable around them more. You are picking the best guy for you not them. No woman wants a bad guy in their life. Atleast not for long term relationships.

Answer 6

You need to find a man who treats you right.  It doesn't matter what race he is.  Don't let those fools, who use the race card to try and talk you into something you don't like, bother you.  They're pitiful creatures and you can do better.  

A nice girl is not obligated to date, marry or otherwise associate with scum just because the scum has a matching skin tone or other feature.

Answer 7

There are respecable respectful gentlemen in every corner, every race. You will have to look around, and look inside of yourself too and see what you can do with your ''most of the gentlemen are one race, while the bad lads are of another' idea.

Answer 8

Honestly?  They'll never 'get it'.  By blaming 'race' they are attempting to assume the role(s) of victim, instead of victimiser (their true role).  They are trying to absolve themselves of responsibility for their own bad behavior.  And yes, it is very childish indeed.  They are playing "macho man" games.

MOVE FAR AWAY and don't look back.

Answer 9

try ones outside of your race.

Answer 10

Just tell them it is about the treatment not the race.  I have done it and it works quite well.  I ignored rude comments made by another race and was then hassled (basically called racist) because I was not responsive.  I simply said "It has nothing to do with the color of your skin, and everything to do with you cat calling like I am a w***e rather than a lady."  Needless to say, they didn't say much after that.

There are respectful men out there of every race, do not let these few men let you believe all men of your race are like this...they are not.  I have met very respectful, polite, gentlemen of nearly every race.