Why aren't g*y guys coming up to me or hitting on me?

Question

Hi. I'm a 22 year old male who just moved to Hollywood. I came out last year and was really happy to move to this city. I'm completely bored and lonely though because I don't know anybody here. I decided to take action and began frequenting West Hollywood a lot in order to meet people, but nothings really happened yet. I've gone as far as going to Starbucks at night four times. I've just sat there with a drink and a book for one-two hours each time and not one person has come up to me to talk to me or anything. I don't get it. I'm a fairly attractive guy; I would rank myself as an 8 out of 10, so I don't understand it. I know so because I get hit on once in a while and guys come up to me once in a while as well but it's been like a month. Either I'm completely unattractive and I'm delusional about my apperance or I'm completely hotter than I think and guys are intimidated. Which is it? I'm so lonely!!! I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

lol im moving to LA in about a year, can you wait that long?

......but also why are u at home on yahoo answers when you need to be out there in the real world tryin to find love :]

Answer 2

You can't expect people to be making the first move all the time. What if there was another fairly attractive g*y man in the Starbucks waiting for someone to come up and start talking to him? If you actually engaged in conversation instead of sitting there reading, maybe you would get somewhere. I am an attractive female, but women rarely hit on me. The relationships I've had I've been the one to essentially make the first move. And you can't really rely on your looks to get you what you want, just so you know.

Answer 3

Why do you expect them always to come to you?  Just because you are attractive doesn't mean they're automatically going to start flocking to you.  Many people are shy.  Many are scared because 1) they don't know if you're g*y, 2) you might be intimidating them, and 3) they have a lack of self-confidence.

I think you should go up to a few guys yourself and introduce yourself.  Do it casually.  Watch the sparks fly from there. =)  

Answer 4

You should have posted a pic to go with this question. That would have helped a lot.

But maybe what you really need to do is put down the book. A book screams, go away I'm here to read and I want to be left alone.

And Starbucks! What are you thinking? I mean don't get me wrong. In Hollywood you could walk to the nearest store to get a pack of smokes and end up getting hit on three times.

If you're hoping to find someone who is nice and not a druggy or a boozer, stay clear of the clubs.

But you might want to do a Google search on g*y owned or g*y friendly establishments in Hollywood. Or pick up what ever the local g*y news paper is there.

I haven't been to Hollywood in thirty years but even back then there were g*y coffee shops and cafes. I'm sure there are even more now.

And leave the book at home. Make some eye contact.

It's worth a shot. Because if a good looking young g*y man can't get laid in Hollywood there is something terribly wrong in this World. LOL!

Best of luck my friend.

Answer 5

Californians are not known as outgoing people.  They are generally afraid of people they don't know and will not talk to strangers. A lot like people in N.Y. or any big city.   Short of getting the h**l out of L.A. you should go where g*y guys go like certain bars or dance clubs.

You are not likely to meet anybody at a Starbucks.

.

Answer 6

Well if you are having trouble meeting people don't wait for them to come to you you should talk to the other people. Don't just go to Starbucks and read a book people will think you don't want to be bothered. Try meeting people in different ways and not just well...starbucks. Meeting people on line first is always an option and is very easy to do. (Case and point you just talked to a large group of people with this question)

Answer 7

It's really hard to say when we don't see picture of you, since it could be cost by a lot of things. First is that I don't really think sitting in Star-bucks drink coffee and read book would get anyone's attention. I've been told by guys and girls that I am very attractive too, but I rarely get hit on by guys or girls. I am g*y by the way, even though I don't look so.

So here are few things that could be the possible reason for you not getting hit on.

1. You looks busy and/or occupied in Starbucks that they don't want to bother you from what you are doing.

2. You looks too straight for g*y people that they don't think you are g*y.

3. Are you sure you are 8 out of 10 type of guy for them?

4. If you did get hit on by guys already, then why didn't you keep in touch with them? or is it because you are picky too?

5. Normally people who goes to Starbucks would either be getting grab and go drinks, trying to find a quiet place to do their own stuff, or going there with someone already.

I guess try to go to g*y club might help you out a bit more too. Don't just sit in Starbucks and wait for them to come to you, because I found that not working very well. You have to interact with some or even start the conversation yourself with them.

I am 24 going 25 already, only got hit on by guys once or twice. And a bit more time by girls.  But now found someone through chatting. So I guess taking action is a lot better than to sit and wait for opportunity to come.

Answer 8

Why don't you make the first move. They may be shy or don't want to offend some one who isn't g*y. Are you acting like you don't want to be hit on? When you go to Starbucks don't bring a book. Look around and smile at men.  Try going to g*y clubs... have fun.