Why be so hurtful to me?

Question

have been friends with this man for years.He wanted to take it further,but he is married so I didn't.I do love him and I told him that,but also that I could not settle for an affair.I have tried to be his friend &maintain a romantic distnce,but one night I asked him why he was ignoring me and he went beserk,saying I always blamed him.He would not talk to me for months.We were all out another night & he interupts me while I was talking to another friend abt a girl & he starts saying how she had a better body/***/better looking than me.As he left I asked him why he said such horrible things in front of our friends,as he knew that I loved him and he gave me an ultimatum to tell him I loved him once and for all in the cold light of day.I didn't because I was so hurt.Since then he ignored me,flirted with a woman I was insecure about in front of me and ignored me when I said hello,flirted with a really young girl in front of me and ignored me.He seems to swing between this and trying to be nice to me.I'm confused and want to sort it out.What is going on?

Answer 1

It sounds like you are getting what you deserve for messing with a married man. "Romantic distance" is a crock. As long as "romantic" is part of the sentence, you've crossed the line.  If you really want to be on the moral high road, cut it off until he divorces.

Answer 2

Sounds like he knows you are too good for him. You rejected his offer to move forward (good for you). I think he is now trying to degrade you. Destroying your self esteem. This making you more liking to do something your are against. Lowering you to his level. Or he is simple a vindictive person. Either way, you really don’t need it.

No matter how much you care for this man he shouldn’t treat you or his wife this way. If he doesn’t have enough respect for his wife to just leave, then what do you think he would do to you? Sounds like he is already emotionally abusing you. You DON”T have to take that. I would simply cut all contact from him. You told him no when he wanted more (and was married!!), so that shows you have great morals. You deserve better. Find someone who make you feel good about your insecurities. Someone who will like you for YOU. You are better than this. Just walk away, good luck.

Answer 3

Okay I know it hurts,but don't even hang out with him if he is gonna be a jerk.....If he really loved you,would he want to hurt you??

Answer 4

try 2 work thngs out between u guys...ask him what's his problem n why's he doin alll this....jus take to ur time out 4 once n talk 2 him.....n according 2 me i think he's a playboy...u said u dint wanna start an affair so he got mad at u, then he flirts with other gals just like that!

  wel dont worry cuz my boyfriend's just like that 2...a playboy always hurting me!!

     u can do something.....u can distract him by gettng a boyfriend urself....or jus talk 2 him!!

<3

-mayeesha

Answer 5

well he IS married so you should probably just leave him at that. think about how his wife may be hurting because of what he is doing to her for you. dont be the home wrecker. let this man go.