Why blame the other person?

Question

I was wondering if anyone could help me shed light on why it is when someone is caught cheating the person that has been cheated on becomes angry and obsessed with the other person. Does anyone know why it is usually this way?

Answer 1

Well, never mess with a man that doesn't belong to you and you'll never have to know why.

HOW HARD IS THAT??!

Answer 2

I geuss the wife wants to know what was so special about the other woman that her husband was willing to risk his entire marriage and family just to be with this woman.

Answer 3

In women cases they feel the other woman is thinner and prettier in the case of men he feels the other man must have more money and or a bigger p***s that's why..

Answer 4

Because they feel angry & stupid at themselves and their partner - so they feel better blaming the other person - it lessens the blow for them. Truthfully, the other person had NO loyalties to them at all - so they should channel that anger at their partner - they were the one to betray them.

I think the obsession comes in when the person that was cheated on, loses some self esteem, begins to doubt themselves (weight, physical appearance, the "why me" -  it all falls into play).  And if the person looked better than them or made their partner feel better than they did - then the threat is doubled and they become obsessed with that person, cause they know, their partner "really" wants to be with the person they cheated with (or is probably still cheating with them on the down low).

It's easier to blame that person, because (in their little mind) they don't want to concede that if their partner really loved them they wouldn't have cheated.  So, of course the other person had to have persued this - which in turns,  somewhat take the responsibility off their cheating partner.  

I know, I know, stupidity is something!  Good question!

Answer 5

I have been cheated on and it's easier to shift the blame to the other person, b/c they are not strong enough to handle to consequences.  I like to always blame me for "other" issues that go on in my marriage, so I can feel like I have control over correcting issues that I am somewhat in.  But cheating, it's all on the person that broke the trust, the person that betrayed, and for the one that cheated, it's an easy way in their "selfish" minds to get out of it.

Answer 6

When you are hurt and you want to blame someone and it's easier to blame someone you do not love.

Answer 7

when it happened to me i blamed my husband.  he's the one who made a family wth me, exchanged vows with me and then cheated on me.  she was just the person who was there when he made his choices.  she got no prize of a man.

Answer 8

i think its because the cheater was just simply caught and doesn't have a good enough excuse as to why they did what they did. they knew what they did was wrong but they did it anyway and now they are caught. and i think its mostly because of SHAME. they know the blame is on them but they want the other person to share it,

Answer 9

thats clear like water, when someone has been cheated , his ego is hurt, and the best why to get free is hurting or get it back the cheater like saying i am better than her i can bring u back again or u hurt me so i hurt u , i wont let u be happy with that ....being angry it is easy to get obssed for soemone who cheat on us, or if u mean obsess with the other person is because, why try to find what was that thing that made u couple cheat on u, u may think that person has something that u dont have, and u need it, so u can think that person is beeter than u,phisical or intelectual, or if u can see that thing, u start to imagine the worst and that is that person is better than u in bed ,the s*x is amazing and u get so obsses and think that u dont know how to make u couple happy in bed and feel pity for urself and thats sad, and start to hate that person make u think more about it, cause when u hates u cant be free.

Answer 10

It's an ego thing. I think you should be angry at the person who is committed to you not the person who your mate is cheating with, however, it's never easy to look at the person that stole your mate's affections in a positive light even when your relationship is pretty much hanging by threads.