Why can't I allow my family to see I'm a Christian?

Question

I am a Christian, believe in it heart, body and soul and most of the time I like to think I practise what i preach. Yet whenever I go home, I change. I'm a different person and that person can be horrid. I cause pain and upset, in a household which already has more than enough of that, yet I cause more by staying away. I want to do that - stay away, because I am constantly hurt and criticised and that's the problem, I give in., don't turn the other cheek, but fight back in my own little way. Then I get asked "...and you call yourself a Christian?!!"

Answer 1

The parents are playing mind-games with you.

Rebelling is a normal part nof going through the teenage years.  You're in the process of preparing to leave the nest and go out on your own.

That's going to cause conflict in the home no matter if you have religion or not because usually, your idea of independence isn't what your parents want to see.

It's perfectly normal, so lose the guilt trips - they're not helping.

Answer 2

I kinda know the feeling. Pray to God for help with this situation =)

God might give you an opertunity to be strong for your faith, keep that in mind =)

Treat your family how you would want them to treat you =)

So, say sorry for things you`ve said or done. You have to mean it though, I'm sure they will forgive you =)

CHRIS has a little fact wrong, Jesus, is not God himself so trust in God and Jesus =)

Answer 3

I have no idea.  At a guess, I'd say maybe schizophrenia.

Answer 4

Your past family life is poisoning your present and your future. The one thing that God has provided you with that is real, is your family.

What you need to do is do some soul searching and put these things to rest. Forgive those that have done bad, and do not make it possible for them to do so in the future.

This means rising above the ordinary, and putting yourself outside these things.

If people want to argue, refuse to.

This is the only way to end this vicious cycle.

Answer 5

Because your cloak of invisibility is clearly malfunctioning.

Answer 6

Tell them that still being a human being with the same capability of making mistakes/sinning as much as them, that you only have so much patience, and that you struggle enough as it is without constant criticism.

I would try to change your habits at home as well.  Whenever you feel like fighting, just walk away.  Even if you are stomping your feet.

Answer 7

Hypocrisy is probably the reason.

Answer 8

It's difficult whenever you ideologically or religiously disagree with family. They tend to refuse to see the choice you made as a good thing because it contrasts with their worldview.

I'm currently in the opposite situation to yours. Just hang in there, stay strong, and don't let people change you. And let them know that remarks like "you call yourself a Christian" are hitting below the belt.

Answer 9

hels christians are flesh and blood people.They give into the flesh (as Peter did when he denied Jesus 3 times).Pray ( maybe do some fasting) and ask Jesus for guidance while you evangelize your family and friends.

I pray Jesus help you with all your needs.

God Bless,

robert p

Answer 10

Maybe just maybe you dont need to label yourself as a particular religion and just be a spiritual being and if you believe in Jesus do so. Oh and conditioning the mind is why you are different at times. When you leave there is nothing to "Push your conditioned buttons." When you return they know just what to do. The problem is you need to find the buttons and break the machine.

Answer 11

Wow. That must be difficult. I really don't know what to say, other than go to God, and ask for His help. I've found that reading a Psalm helps me keep my spirit up for things like this. I will be praying for you.

Answer 12

Well, our family usually knows exactly what buttons to push if they want to get a reaction.   All you can do is pray and ask God to give you the strength to respond in a loving way.  It can be difficult though, because sometimes your family can put you in a situation where you can't win.

One time my aunt, knowing already how I would feel about it, showed me a book on the occult and asked my opinion.  I knew she was trying to get a reaction, so I tried not to react, I looked at the book and said some benign comment like, "Thats interesting, but not something I'm really into."  She was all over me about judging her.  There really wasn't any way I could have answered her any better, so I just said "Laura, what would want me to say? You know that is not my religion, and I know its not even yours, I can only assume you asked my opinion just so you could start an argument."

I said all of that calmly, not yelling or getting emotional, just stating facts.  The sad part is that things similar to this happened all the time.  God still managed to use me to bring the Gospel to my mom before she passed on, and to plant seeds in the hearts of other family members.

Answer 13

Call on Christ at the moment you need Him!  You have to understand that Satan is tempting you to sow those seeds of discord.  Fight against it.  Jesus will help you to make peace in your family, IF you sincerely ask Him and trust Him.

Answer 14

All saved believers are still sinners.  So if you believe in faith alone that Jesus, who is God, died for your sins on the cross and rose again, then just trust Jesus and know that you will still struggle with the flesh.  :)  

Answer 15

If you are going to say that you are a Christian remember there are people watching you...to see what you do next to see if you mess up or to see if they should follow the God that you follow...Apologize to them and let them know you do not have to prove to them that you are a Christian your relationship is between you and God but remember to let you light so shine that it uplifts others...and be careful in your actions

Answer 16

Christian's tortured and kill every body for 3000 years ,,until the governments stepped in and outlawed them from religious killing and witch hunting in the 1800's ,,not that they decided it was wrong they where forced to stop

  

and you call yourself a Christian?!!"

definitely a great history behind the cult  

Answer 17

you are being held to another standard

Most people believe that if you are a christian they can walk all over you and if you stand up for a right they accuse you of not being christian.

  just because you are a christian that does not mean you can not stand up for yourself or let people walk all over you.

Answer 18

What matters my dear is that God knows you are

Pray to Jesus for help in this matter

Jesus wants to help you in any problem that you have sweetie

God bless you hels

What Jesus is saying in this part of scripture below the way I interpret it is Good and evil do not mix

The saved and the unsaved have a different spirit

And that causes turmoil

Answer 19

You need to give it space and time.

Until you can heal, you will fall into the old familiar patterns when you go home.

Answer 20

Maybe you need to take a break from the family situation?  

In my experience, I had to divide from my life. Or what I knew it to be. Friends, etc. I spent a long time alone. Me and Jesus and a really cool cat.

I remember being asked to a party of all the who's who in what used to be my world. I went and found myself joining in with what I knew was wrong. I was ashamed and told the Lord so when I pulled out of the parking lot. I knew I was not yet ready to go back into the world.  I wasn't strong enough. Now I am.

It sounds like you are strong. I was very strong when I was Athieist. I didn't care about anyone's feelings. When I became a Christian, that changed.

You have to find you own ground with your family. For me, my parents abandoned me when I was 14 and I haven't seen them since. It's been 32 years now.  It is what it is. But the older I get the more I miss what family is. The hurt feelings have softened over time and issues have blurred. In the end, is it worth it?  Every Father's day and Mother's day is hard for me. Mom is dead so it's just sad. But Dad is another thing.

Just know that what you have right now will not always be so. Don't be a contributor to it. It is your choice to feed the madness.  Take the higher road if you can. If I would have ever had that option, I would have gone that route. If it got funky, I would take a breather.

Answer 21

Hypocrisy at its finest.

Answer 22

Your family sounds dysfunctional. If all you feel is turmoil when you visit, stay away for awhile. If they want to know why, tell them the truth. Don't let them criticize you and put you down. Life is too short. It will eat at you constantly. Take it from someone who has a sister that can get the entire family stirred up. I finally have to keep my distance from her or have gut aches all the time. It's just not worth it.