Why can't I figure this breastfeeding out???

Question

I'm sitting here teary eyed alone with my 10 day old son. I have been attempting to breastfeed unseucessfully and I don't know what im doing wrong. He's fussing and I put im on and he sucks for like 2 secs and gets frustrated and starts sqirming all around. I try to take a break and try again when we are both a little calmer, but it doesn't work. He screams i get anxiouse and a rushed feelings and then he wont latch on and I start feeling an uncontrollable urge to start bawling. The worst part is I know I am beiing irratoinal and I staill can't get my emotions under controll. I finally give up and give him the bottle of expressed milk I pumped. I'm trying to keep it together... but It is really hard. i got an hour and half sleep last night. I'm feeling a little frazzled atm. Should I just give up trying to make him try from the breast? and just give him the pumped breast milk in a bottle. Please any words of encouragement would be aprecited. I'm a little bit of a basket case atm.

Answer 1

It isn't easy to figure out. Try getting lots of pillows or a breast feeding pillow and prop them up so it right under your breast. That way you have one less thing to try and juggle. Then hold the bottom of your breast in you u shaped hand. Try to keep his nose out of your breast, so he can breathe. so you might have to keep your thumb on top of your breast by his nose. If you continue to have problems call your hospital that you delivered at and ask to speak to a lactation specialist, and you might be able to set up and appointment to see what is happening. They are very good so don't be shy about using them. Good luck to you.  

Answer 2

Keep it up mum - you are doing great.

Yes this BF business can take some perseverance! Particularly if baby knows there is an easier way for him to get that milk!

hang in there, it's so hard to do it with hormones going crazy and no sleep - but you can get it sorted.  You may need to get some help from a lactation consultant or le leche person who can support you thru this (or contact any friends that you know who have established breast feeding to come and sit with you).

maybe you should refrain from expressing and giving him the bottle, just until you get him to latch on and drink. Just incase he is getting confused signals about where he is supposed to drink from.

If things don't improve then take him to your doc and get him checked incase he is tongue tied or has some other reason for not being able to latch on.

Take a deep breath, relax and try again.  Try not to let the frustration build as baby will sense that....It's so worth the effort, keep it up mum you are doing amazing!

Answer 3

its really hard sometimes there not getting

milk or enough so i have to bottle feed just do your

best if it doesn't work buy a pump or bottle feed

best of luck to you  

Answer 4

Keep trying, its a little difficult for most people.  Try seeing a lactation consultant or some other professional who is supportive of breastfeeding and get some advice or lessons or both.  Congratulations on deciding this healthy nature based parenting style and even if it doesn't work out what matters is the fact that you gave it a good try.

Answer 5

First of all, take a deep breath and relax. Breastfeeding is VERY hard at first.....Once you get the hang of it though, it is easy. If your baby knows you aren't relaxed, they won't be. Also, those "boppy" pillows are awesome. I used one when I breastfed my son. It is more comfortable for you and probably the baby too. My son loved to lay on his on a blanket in the floor. You can always call your OB/GYN or maybe your pediatrician and ask if there is a local  La Leche League. They are a wonderful help!

Answer 6

It's hard figuring that stuff out. I was a wreck for the first week with my son. Do anything you can to get a lactation consultant, try calling the hospital, they usually can connect you with one. Contact your local Le Leche League. Feed him from a medicine dropper instead of a bottle because that will prevent nipple confusion. As soon as you can get The Womanly Art of Breast Feeding, it is soo helpful. Just relax and hang in there. You are doing what's best for your baby by breast feeding him and it will get easier as you go, the first two weeks are the hardest. You can also try using a nipple shield or a supplemental feeder. Nipple shields can be bad because baby's get addicted to them and won't nurse without one and they can reduce your milk supply but if you just pump a bit after each feeding for a while your supply should be fine even with a shield. That's what I did and we just stopped using it yesterday (my son is 11 weeks) but it saved us in the beginning.  

Answer 7

don'tt give up! i know how hard it can be my little boy ended up back in hospital at 3 days old cause he was starving! i no longer wanted to bf so i gave him the bottle of expressed milk, which i know is so time consuming! the thing is you both have to learn how to bf not just you hedoesn'tt know how to do it either and you getting stressed makes him stress to! have you tried all the different positions i found lying down helped with him across my chest. have you seen a lactation consultant? they can really help

good luck and it will happen just have bit of faith in your self

congratulationss on your new born xxxx

Answer 8

you should contact a lactation consultant, most make home visits and can help you to work out any issues you and the baby are having. also there is probably a local branch of the la leche league which has real breastfeeding moms that are there to give you support.  there are also quite a few how to videos on the internet so you may want to check those out and see if there may be something else you can try.

Answer 9

The key is willpower when you want to give up.  Some people just can't breastfeed, but most can if you stick with trying and accept what you can get.  It may seem harder right now, but with time, it will definitely be easier than bottles.  Have you tried very warm washcloths on your breast just before you try to feed?  Does it seem like you have colostrum (pre-milk) or milk yet?  I know you're exhausted but you are a fantastic mom to hang in there this long.  Keep trying.  Call the hospital where you had the baby and ask for their lactation specialist (a nurse who will help) and look in your phone book or information for a La Leche league (breastfeeding moms group) in your area.  

Answer 10

My daughter had an extremely hard time with the breast feeding thing.  I tried for like a week and then just finally gave up.  She would feed for like 5 minutes and that was it.  I just starting pumping and giving it to her with a bottle.  Don't feel bad.  At least you're still giving him breast milk.  Don't let people make you feel bad.  I had a lot of comments from strictly breast feeding moms and I didn't let it bother me.  You do what you feel is good for your child.  Good luck!

Answer 11

Contact a lactation specialist.  They can help you!  Call yoru doctor or go to the La Leche League website and see what resources they have there.  Most women go thru a period of difficulty, but if you get support, you can get thru it.  don't give up!

Answer 12

all i have to say is hang in there! breastfeeding is really hard at first... keep your calm... the baby will become more agitated if he feels you're not totally relaxed

Most (if not all) breastfeeding mothers go through a rough time at first.

get lots of pillows.. feeding in lying down position might help you... try different positions..

he might have nipple confusion... have you ever fed him from the breast or has he always taken the bottle? just know that there is nothing that can not be fixed.

Do NOT hesitate to contact the la leche league. they can give you GREAT advice over the phone.

best of luck to you.

Answer 13

The most important thing here is getting your son to eat, right?  As long as you get him fed all should be ok.  You know all that bonding and stuff they talk about happening through breast feeding?  It's not sucking on your breast that's important.  It's the closeness and the ability to look at your face.  Breast milk is also highly important, but as you said, you're expressing.  Sounds to me that as long as you are able to calm down and continue expressing, you should be able to experience all the joys of motherhood and raise a healthy happy son, just the same as you would have if he did nurse.

Answer 14

I'm so sorry!  I dealt with the same thing with both of my boys.  I suggest contacting your local La Leche League for some really good advice.  I think part of the problem I had was that the nurses had supplemented my sons with formula while in the hospital, and gave them too much.  They got used to the bottle and their little tummies were stretched out so that the amount of milk I was producing wasn't enough to fill them up.   The bottle is much easier for the baby to eat from and they wanted that instant gratification.  Your local La Leche can give you some really good insight on how to cope.  Don't give up!  There is help!

Answer 15

i went through the same thing with my son. he and i never could get it right. at 1 month we ended up just doing the bottle. but shortly after that my milk dried up so we had to put him on formula. i was so upset. i thought i wasn't a good mommy and that my baby didn't like me and anything horrible that you can think of. i know now that i have my second child that it was just frustration from being a first time mom. and nerves. and i was very anxious about it. and the lack of  sleep never helps when you're already emotional. i know.

just keep trying different positions. and if it really doesn't work out then try the bottle. as long as he's getting the breast milk it really doesn't matter where it comes from. and if you have to put him on formula that's ok too. formula now is allot better than it once was. my son's 3 and has only been sick maybe 3 times in his life. good luck and if you ever need some words of encouragement, email me.