Why can't I get over it?

Question

About ten years ago I was rapped by a so called friend ever since then I cannot forget it.

I manage to forget for awhile but a couple of weeks go by and it comes back stronger than ever.

I just feel like killing myself. I can't stay clean I always still feel dirty, I have had emotional problems since I was a kid and it just feels like nothing is ever come right for me.

I have attempted suicide on a number of occasions and I just want death.

What makes it worse is I can't do anything about it because he gets away with everything he is in law.

I have no friends no life all I do is sit at home and mope around.

I don't want any friends again because I cannot trust anybody.

Before you ask yes I am a male and I was rapped by a male.

I feel so sick, i cant sleep very good nightmares and so on.

Any suggestions please?

Answer 1

You need to see someone about this! That is the only way you are going to learn to cope with it!

Answer 2

did you report it? if not maybe you should because then you might get closure on it. to build trust back with people why don't you spend time with your family because you can know you can trust them? or maybe some old friends that you have known for a long time, because then you might feel safer.also i'd recommend therapy because maybe with the right support you can build your life back up. maybe you need something to focus your mind on, and maybe a therapist could help you with that.good luck.

Answer 3

The best thing is to seek counseling, if you can't afford it or your insurance doesn't cover it, try local churches and organizations that will do free sessions. It will be hard to re-live in the sessions, but TRUST ME, it's totally worth it! The monkey will leave your back!  

Answer 4

Cathedra.. I dont know what to say. I feel so sorry for you. nothing canj be said but I will tell you this. He must have thoought that you felt the same. so take comfort in that. I dont know if it was violent but if he doesnt know what he has done then he has obviously a s***w lose. In which case. I dont want you to take the wrong impression I am just going to try and help as mucha as possible with this next story.... When I was 10 11 etc, i used to have s*x with older men etc...(60) I did not consider it rape or abuse because that was the way we were broght up. But in todays laws he would be hung drawn and quartered, but we have always been friend and he never came on to me.. I was precocious. I know you think this irrelevant and of the beaten track but believe me I am only tryiong to say something that will comfort you. I wish you well because sometimes you have to fight for yourself... Dont let him get to your mind. Rert. Even if he is in the law he will not win if you make it public. hHis name will be dirt.

Answer 5

I know it is hard but it is not your fault. You must somehow get yourself to therapy asap whether it is talk therapy or drug therapy program.Good Luck and though I do not know your age you can find a confidant in a therapist.

Answer 6

  OK. If you are thinking of killing yourself, call 1-800-784-2433 anytime of the day.  That is a national suicide hotline. Please call; they will be able to help you.

   I urge you to talk to a mental health professional immediately.  Do not feel ashamed. Rape occurs often. One in 4 women is raped in their lifetime and many many men are sexually abused and raped in their youth as well.  You are not alone. I personally know several people who are rape and sexual abuse survivors, both male and female...and the problems that you are experiencing are normal after going through that traumatic experience.  It was not your fault and you are not alone so do not hesitate to seek help.

     Private councelling can be very expensive. It's great if you have the money, but if you don't check online or in the phone book for government sponsored and funded programs. Most major cities have them. I lived in Columbus, OH for a while and they had a state sponsored referral program for people suffering from psychological traumas and other ills. In many cases you will meet with a social worker who will evaluate the severity of the case. If you feel like you are suicidal, then they will definitely be able to recommend some free services - if not free councelling - for your issue. In addition to that, most communities also have support groups or group councelling for rape and sexual abuse survivors. Go online and do a search for one close to where you live.If you go to http://www.malesurvivor.org/therapists.h... there is a link to find a therapist that deals with male sexual abuse in your area.

    Most importantly, do NOT give up. With some therapy, there is hope. Therapy techniques like EMDR are helping tons of survivors process their traumas and move on with normal, healthy lives. There is a brighter future ahead of you.

Answer 7

first of all don't think of death

i understand how  you feel.

not sure. insecure. worried.

but that doesn't mean u should try and die.

why don't you talk to someone you trust like an adult.

that can give u some help.

and u know what that guy that did that is stupid he wouldn't know how that feels being a child/teen and feeling weird every day.about what happened. if he thinks that you can forget about it thats not possible.

everyday waking up and thinking that really happened.

my idea is you can report him to the police get a lawyer and make sure that guy that did that is actually living h**l until he goes to jail.

good luck :)

p.s i have my own problem

about a question can u help!! :)

Answer 8

you never truly get over it i was raped so many times by my spoouce and i have so much anger

Answer 9

So sorry to hear this, its really a very tricky situation you are in. There can be a few ways to try to control further damage its causing.

First thing is to have faith in others. Not that every body is a cheater or everybody is bad. Try to find a good friend, a good way can be to find a female friend, so you are not exposed to any further risk of being exploited for your situation. Share you feelings and talk it out.

Try to involve yourself into physical activities like some sports or simply walking and running. Again try to find some sports partners so it becomes more enjoyable for you.

Try doing some meditation (accordingly to whatever religion you beleive in). I have found that meditation is always very soothing, creating a link between you and God where you can start sharing your problems with God directly. It relaxes you and takes off some burden.

Hope you can follow some of these and will start feeling better.  

Answer 10

almost the same thing happened to me when i was young. i had to go to a psychologist for many years. I to tried suicide all the time and hated myself, felt gross and alone.

I suggest talking to someone your comfortable with about it. Thats the only reason I overcame it. It does help to talk about it however uncomfortable it may be.

Best of luck to you and hang in there.

Answer 11

How horrible - I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you.  If you have a general practitioner I would start there.  They may be able to help you find a counselor and also give you some medication to help you cope through this difficult time.  I'm not suggesting that meds are the answer - just something to help you out until you can get the help you need.  I wish you the very best of luck.  I wish there was more I could say.  

Answer 12

I can relate.

The feelings that you are going through, while not good, are normal.

The only thing that will work is therapy.

You have to want to get better and believe that you will. I know it may seem like you could never get things back to the way they were before the rape, but with the help of a therapist and some time, you can be happy again. I promise.

It has taken me 4 years. It is still difficult when the anniversary comes around but I get by.

It has helped me to be able to help others now. I have started an organization that will have a site soon along with a forum.

http://back2me.org/

Good luck and best wishes. Just know you are not alone.

Answer 13

I suggest you visit a psychologist. If you're Australian, you should look me up on my website (www.raphmickey.com). I specialise in ensuring that people like the guy who raped you get their just deserts.

If he is a lawyer, you may be able to get him disbarred. If you feel up to it you should definately report him.

Answer 14

Have you received counseling? You have experienced a very traumatic event that is still haunting you. You need to talk to a professional who can help you process these feelings so you can learn to move on. Talk therapy is very useful and perhaps the counselor will encourage to journal or even try hypnosis to help you get through this. Good luck.