Why can't I grieve?

Question

My dad had been fighting lung cancer for 2 years, a week and a half ago he passed away. It was PURE torture watching him fight so hard, struggling to breathe!!!! I was so completely terrified from every gasp or jerk, finally one day while taking a shower I sat in the floor of the tub and just cried and prayed for peace. Peace for him, peace for my mother, they were together for 37 years, peace for me to accept that I can't stop it, or help. I prayed for strength to be the level headed one when it finally came. (He died at home, on hospice care) Now since he died, I can't cry, why?? He was only 56 years old, a wonderful, wonderful, husband and father and an ADORED pawpaw! Why can't I cry for this huge loss??? Why can't I mourn my precious, sweet dad!!!!

Answer 1

Because you are already at peace..... I believe that mourning is just a emotional stage that someone goes through to become at peace with ones passing away......

And since you already came to peace at a earlier stage in the grievance process it is no longer needed.   You have a feeling of emptiness, and sadness, but the grief is gone, and since you are spiritual/religious, you know your loving father is at a better place; according to your on beliefs.

Answer 2

You have already grieved for him and I know how hard it is to lose your father. I did in2004 and my mom in 2005. you never really get over that and you are grieving. You just aren't crying. Your father knows that you loved him and he will always be in your heart. I really am sorry for your loss .

Answer 3

I am sorry for your loss.  I recently lost my Grandmother.  I sympathize with you.  You will always love your dad.  Maybe you can't cry because even though he went through a long illness you are in shock or denial.   The tears will come.  Something will trigger it .  It could be a song he liked, something you liked to do together.  Don't be hard on yourself.  People morn differently.

Answer 4

i watched my dad die 4 years ago the same way as your dad died, to this day i have not broken down  and grieved.You will grieve in your own time.when your body, spirit, you are strong enough to deal with it.I fell apart watching him suffer  i cried like a baby but once he passed i just went numb shock thankful he was no longer in such terrible pain but missing him dearly i think my heart broke if you can understand

Answer 5

I worked for hospice for a long time.  Everyone's grief is different and happens in its own time.  You've been through a tough time and wanting him to be at peace was a good thing to pray for.  I've seen people suffer and sometimes they just need to let go.  Be kind to yourself.  You were a good daughter and you will be good to your mother now that she needs you.  Don't worry...one day you will start crying and won't stop.  Don't listen to people when they tell you what you should be doing right now.  People love to tell you what to do.  Right now you are probably taking care of a lot of business and details.  It hasn't sunk in yet.  Just take it easy.  Your grief will come.

Answer 6

I understand how you're feeling.

But some people handle it differently, even though you're truely hurt inside and you miss your dad doesn't mean you have to cry.

I am sure he doesn't want you to mourn over his death, but to remember all the good times you two had together.

At least he isn't suffering anymore.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Your defiantly still in shock, if you didn't cry yet.

Answer 8

You prayed for strength and you got it.l  God has helped you.  You know your father is better off in heaven and God has let you kknow that cause maybe your greiving is over you just still miss his presense.  People handle things differently and  who knows you may start crying again and go through the whole thing again but pray again and God will give you the peace you ask for.

Answer 9

maybe because you already cried during the hardest times?