Why can't I just move on when I make a mistake?

Question

I made a mistake today. I said something today that I shouldn't have said and I've probably hurt someones feeling a little bit. The problem is, I didn't realize it until someone pointed it out to me. And this is a little tiny thing. Very little. The problem is, that I can't get it out of my mind and I feel suffocated by it. It's basically an obsession until my nest mistake. I've also realized that this is a pattern for when I mess up. No matter how little.

Does anyone know what I can do? I do have a therapist I can talk to about this, but is this normal? Any tips on how I can move on faster?

Answer 1

it is normal if you are something of a perfectionist who worries about how people think about her ( no offense, it describes me too)

Answer 2

I have struggled with this same problem for a long time.  It's getting better for me though.  I am just guessing but you probably are a sensitive person and you don't want to hurt anyone.  You also probably want others to like you, so when you mess up you think people won't like you.    If you realize it right away then say Oh, I'm sorry, that came out wrong, or something like that.  If you don't realize it right away, you can always apologize the next chance you get. Don't be hard on yourself because that will just make you feel worse.  When it happens again, remember to make sure you tell yourself good, positive things about you.

Answer 3

Don't think about it  much just move on

wat u should do next time think before u talk

put ur self in self in the person shoes

Answer 4

We all do it. just go to the person and straighten it out then you will fell better. hear is how to move on and stop mess en up. Just take a minute before you open your mouth to say anything, give your mind a chance to think before you let your mouth do it for ya!!! its like take three steps back and then think before you open your mouth. it really helps. good luck.  

Answer 5

Maybe you could be punishing yourself too much . . Maybe you have a lot of anger you turn inward to yourself ad this is the way it is manifesting

Maybe you have low self esteem..

I think getting a counsellor of psychologist would help you. It sounds like you need to relax and stop putting yourself down.

Obviously, you have some issues with aspects of yourself, there are things you are not pleased with. It sounds very time consuming, and draining of your energy. It can be a difficult pattern to get out of.

You could try writing your thoughts on the situation down and asking yourself some questions - like a reality check - is this really true? did i really hurt this person? i.e. how do you know? (gather the evidence) am i being too much of a perfectionist? am i being a bit paranoid? Can i let this go for now? Can i focus on the things i enjoy? If necessary ask a friend - or a counsellor. It is important to get to the truth rather than focussing on the little niggles - enjoying your life is important.

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Another way to look at this - if you can - is to think -i DID say this (not i shouldnt of - because saying  shouldnt of is telling yourself off. you could instead, think I DID say this and this is how i'm gonna do it different for next time, and then think of some other ways to deal with the situation)



Rather than focussing on too many negatives from  the past - try turning your attention to the positive things you could be doing in the present and for the future.

When you feel suffocated, you could do something you enjoy to try and snap you out of that train of thought, i.e. watching a movie, doing some art, meeting a friend for a drink, even just talking to someone.

Or think about something nice you can do for someone else - and do it.

I hope you get the help you need.

With love,

Emma