Why can't my family be happy for me ?

Question

I am about to move to another city so I can give my kids a better life . My kids are really looking forward to moving and are happy about it. Certain members of my family are determined to give me the guilt trip and are saying that they will never see me and the kids again and that we will never be able to go and visit them , (we are only moving 130 miles away and the train is every hour ). They have really put me on a downer and they have have upset me quite a lot . Me and my kids have had it rough for the past few years and we live in a really bad area and no matter how much I have explained that it is the best for my kids they are determined to bring me down and make me feel guilty for trying to make a better life for my kids and me. How can I make them see it is the best thing for us ?

Answer 1

Mum, don't listen to them it is your choice not theirs. We want to get out of here take no notice what gran says she can get the train. its our chance of some happiness.  

Answer 2

I wish you all the luck in the world, you only live once so follow your heart. I wish I could go to where I want to be, but I can't afford it and my husband disagrees. you are on your way so do what you want and ignore everyone else.

Answer 3

They want what - what they want. They are just trying to get you to stay because they will miss you.

Now you will say like the strong women you are

"I love you and will miss seeing you as much but we are all very important to each other so we will all make time to drive or take the train to see each other. I know that deep down you support me in giving my family a better life."

End of story. Move and things will fall into place.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Don't bother trying to make them see things your way, as you said, they're just pissed off you have the opportunity to do this and they're trying to guilt you out of it.

Don't feel guilty for trying to do the best you can for your kids. Not your problem if these other family members are stuck in a rut.  

Answer 5

its not important wat ur family think... first thing first is ur kids and ur doing this for them... in fact by sounds of things u deserve this new start so i wish u all the best...

sounds to me as if some family members are jst saying all this to try and get u to change ur mind as stay? mayb they will jst miss u... or they could b stuck in a boring life style themselves and they are jst jealous... try and spend some time with each off them before u head away... explain ur reasons why this is a big thing for u and ask them to b supportive to u and ur kids..

u will find they will tlk bout to u and explain why they have such a problem with u movin so u wil b able to answer there questions!

gud luck with ur move..! its gd to hear someone taken charge of there life for a change instead of comin on here feeling sorry for themselves! xx

Answer 6

Don't worry about what they think. They are only looking at themselves. You have to do what you think is best for you and your children. Good luck with the move and may all your dreams come true.

Answer 7

Amanda, Your responsibility is to yourself and your children!!!!Your family is voicing their Fear of losing touch. Keep your chin up, make the move and prove to them, you won't forget them.!!!!!

Answer 8

I think they know you well enough to know that you are moving even if they like it or not but they want you to visit and they will miss you. If they could keep you there they would. My family has made me feel bad before too about taking long car trips 10 hour trips to visit grand mother and I am not supposed to but I used to dread over it and worry over it because I did not want to go and I was obligated to spend my holidays on long car trips . After I got more mature I tool control of my life and have not been on one in a long time . Thank goodness.You do what is best for your happiness .Them saying you will not visit is not true. I think you would visit. They should not say that.

Answer 9

Your family is afraid of what you mentioned.. i would be the same way if it were happen to me.. our family is our life our pearl that we want to keep with us forever . , but if the place where you live is not a good safe place i would hope they could understand your move. your the one who has to protect your kids and put them in a better Environment. its just hard for us parents to let go.good luck hun.

Answer 10

Sometimes people can so very selfish. They cannot see that it is the best and right thing for you and your family. All they can see is how it will put them out and cause them problems.

Well boo bloody hoo. As you say, there are trains. Ooooh hey, they can even pick up the telephone as well.

If it was me? They would be getting told to stop being so bloody selfish.

It is your life. You do what you feel is right for you and your family. If they do not like it - tough.

I wish you lots of luck.

Answer 11

Some people can only see things from their own point of view and how it will affect them.  You have to think of the kids first, full stop!  If they need to leave to have better lives, then so be it.  Whatever your family feels comes a distant second.

Good luck!

Answer 12

I understand how you feel. I guess sometimes, people expect you to stay in a small world and not attempt to do anything differently, especially if it uplifts you (and inadvertenly makes others feel insecure). Go forth with your plans without guilt or anything like that. Life is too short to worry about what they think.

Answer 13

Sometimes family are the hardest to please Amanda and are the most critical.  Did you get a new place already?  So happy for you as know you have had it tough there and you didn't feel so safe.  Just no point even trying to reason, your decision is made.  You are doing the right thing for you and the kids and your future.  You will also have someone special near to you and you also deserve some happiness and support and some love in your life.  I have same problems with my family and just told them to stop trying to tell me what to do as am a grown woman who has lived independently since I was 17.  They will probably miss you and that is why they are defensive also and maybe they wish were moving themselves.  Wish you all the best & email if you need to. :))

Answer 14

Sometimes people will never be able to see things the way you want them to.  Just tell them that you're moving no matter what they say and if they can't understand why or be happy for you than too bad.  I've been living in a rough neighborhood for a couple of years and I'm finally moving the end of this year to a nicer place and my mom is not to happy it's further away from her but it's gotta be done and I know she'll adventually come around.

Answer 15

Happily there are some of us who know you well enough to see your intention is as good as it gets..Which is the best intention..

Dont worry Amanda as your friends are supporting your decision...

And we know you ..

Answer 16

u know ur doing the best thing for u and ur kids, so ignore the comments theyve made, say to them u will visit on weekends and there welcome to visit u, thats all u can do.

good luck

Answer 17

what can you say about miserable people, they are miserable and serve only to make others as miserable as they are. they should be happy for you, i certainly am and anyone that truly cares about you would be as well.congrats Amanda ,you and the kids deserve it.

Answer 18

Just ignore them & enjoy ur life with ur kids.They'll eventually come to see the reason and accept ur decision.So cheer up.