Why can't my husband stop wanting s*x just for my pregnancy??!?

Question

I'm 10 weeks pregnant, married, with our second child. Our relationship is pretty good. My husband doesn't seem to understand that I have no interest in s*x during this time. He told me " You need to understand where I'm coming from" because he's 26 and says he needs s*x badly. I really don't know what to tell him except that it will pass. He still gets upset and it's making me feel bad too. I told him that if one person doesn't want to, we shouldn't do it. He says "what about the person who does?" Can't he wait???! Help!

Answer 1

Sounds like you need some marriage counseling.  He's being selfish.  Doesn't he know how to satisfy himself?

Answer 2

the grass is always greener...my husband completely lost interest in s*x during the first 6 months of pregnancy. We finally talked about it and turns out he was worried about hurting the baby. Sounds like you two need to have a very open discussion. He is probably thinking you are looking exceptionally s**y...take it as a compliment and be thankful he doesn't think you look hideous!

s*x for a man equates to his self esteem...you need to suck it up for him...not all the time mind you, but talk it out and find out how often he is expecting it. Marriage is about compromise and s*x is a huge part of marriage. Good luck!

Answer 3

I do not have kids yet so I do not know exactly how you feel.

With that said... Have you tried? I used to always over think s*x, all the time. Then when I just let it happen it turns out great.

If your not feeling super awful the next time he tries just give in and see what happens.

I try to tell myself that when I am pregnant I want to have s*x for as long as possible cause you have to wait so long after the birth.

Good Luck, you might actually have some fun!

Answer 4

I think you should just do it for the sake of your marriage.. You dont want him to feel like he has to go else where.

Answer 5

He might be feeling like you have lost some of your attraction to him or maybe he just feels down that you don't want him.. where the real reason is because you don't feel well. I would just explain to him that you still think he is a s**y and attractive man but you just honestly don't feel well at all right now and if he can't understand that then you have big problems.

Make sure he feels wanted and loved.

Answer 6

He just needs to get over it.  He will never be pregnant and will never now how it feels, so he needs to show some compassion.  Tell him to get a magazine or go online for a little while.  I am sure he can take care of himself.

Likely things will get better and you will feel like it.  But even if you don't then he needs to be there for you as well.  Marriage is "in sickness and in healthy"  and some parts of pregnancy woman are pretty sick so that is just how it is.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.  I had 9 months of morning sickness.  Thankfully it got a little better the second half of the pregnancy.  And then I was hospitalized for awhile.  We had s*x some but not that much.  Between the throwing up and the hospitalization I rarely felt like it.  I know it wasn't fun for my husband but he never complained.  As I felt a little better, he would sometimes compliment me on how s**y I looked pregnant, or would massage my shoulders.  That really helped.  Perhaps your husband could take a clue from mine.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel. I'm 12weeks pregnant and I'm not in the mood bc I'm always tired and just don't feel like having s*x. I tried to explain to him and try to make him understand. There's other things you can do besides s*x that will satisfy him.Or you can just tell him that you have an yeast infection...lol...

Answer 8

.. because hes not made of wood.

Answer 9

You are his wife.  If you NEEDED s*x and he didn't feel like it for an extended period of time, do you think he would just ignore your needs?  I doubt it.  d**n, do it once a week.  Just lay there.

Answer 10

I disagree with the other responses.  I'm not trying to be harsh, but he needs to get over it.  He's not the pregnant sick one.  He's not the one sharing his body with another human being.  That is a very difficult thing to do!   Pregnancy is not easy for you, so why does he think it should be easy for him.  You both have to make sacrifices.  You sacrifices are sickness, pain, etc.  His are missing out on s*x, etc.  Tell him this and then tell him you love him, but you are miserable enough just being pregnant and that he is going to have to be patient.  Tell him the sickness will probably pass and he can look forward to that.  The bible says we should not deny our spouse of s*x, but, it also says that it is reasonable to make a period of time when both partners agree to no s*x.   I think this is one of those reasonable times, don't you?  I hope everything works out!!!

Answer 11

You need to be a little pliant in this area. Just give it a shot whether you feel like it or not. When he says he's 26 and he has needs its a little worrying. Sometimes younger guys say that as sort of a warning. Like, " I really want to have s*x with you, but if you continue to deny it I'm going somewhere else to find it." I would give in for your marriages sake. I'm 22 weeks and trust me, you get into once it gets started. Whether you felt like it or not to begin with.

Answer 12

my man is the same way they just want to get as much in as they can while they can i know it sux and mine usually makes me feel bad about not wanting it but its just their nature and s*x is better for them when ur prego plus most men are just fasinated by pregnant women

i can deffinatly feel ur frustration im 41 weeks and still cant get a break but the seman does help the cervix

Answer 13

I understand where you are comming from try doing something that turns u on. Watch a flick play a s*x game ect it might get you in the mood who knows then everybody w ill be happy ( it worked for me lol)

Answer 14

I have been in your shoes. Men have a very different s*x drive and just don't understand. I understand that you don't feel like it and neither did I. You need to try to come to some type of compromise. If you don't feel up to vaginal s*x, there are always other things that you can do. I have been in your shoes and I understand 100% but you have to give in one way or another and at least have s*x once in a blue moon because he won't let it go and he will only want it more.

Answer 15

Your husband is being very selfish, in my opinion. But he is right. He does have needs.

Maybe you could put on a s**y outfit or do a striptease for him so he has something to... inspire him. Take some s**y photos. Watch p**n with him. Let him know that you care about his sexual desires, you just don't want to engage in the act right now. If it's only vaginal intercourse that bothers you, you could pleasure him in other ways.

He's probably thinking that you are using your pregnancy as an excuse not to have s*x with him. Tell him how sick you are feeling but that it has nothing to do with him. Tell him about all the s**y things you'll do once you're feeling up to it. You want to keep him interested and make him feel wanted, but he needs to understand that there is a time & place and this ain't it.