Why can't other parents mind their own business sometimes?

Question

I was shopping yesterday and I took my oldest with me while my husband stayed home entertaining my two youngest. My oldest will be six soon and she got a little fresh with me in the store when I told her that it was too close to supper for her to get candy this time. I asked her to straighten up or else there would be a consequence. She kept on so I took her to the bathroom, and said for her to start acting like the young lady I know she is, and I gave her a spanking (nothing huge only one smack on her behind).

Now what pisses me off is that some hoity toity woman observes this and tries to give me a talking to about the way I parent my daughter. I know everyone has their opinion on it but for the love of God if I'm disciplining my daughter, stay out of it! It's none of their business! Why can't people just shut their mouths and move on and at least be thankful that I don't allow my daughter to be disrespectful?

Answer 1

You and my mom would get along great...there is me and my sister, and my mom has always had to punish us differently----for my sister timeouts have always worked, my mom had to spank her like twice in her whole life, and that was because she like ran in front of a car or something....me, tho, was totally different. a timeout wouldnt do anything for me so my mom had to spank me...(and in NO way was it abuse) now for the most part my mom grounds me, however, I got into some HUGE trouble several months ago, and my mom spanked me...I told her that people say that i am to old to be spanked..(and i yelled this) and my mom said that when she wanted other peoples opinion on how to raise her daughter she would ask it, but I was hers and she would punish me the way that she saw fit, because obvisously grounding wasnt working......but even I know...and i was the one getting punished....that i deserved it..tho i will NEVER let my mom know that, and i agree with you, it isnt anyone elses business how you punish your child...i may only be fifteen, but even i know this...

Answer 2

First, I want to say finally a parent on here that is not afraid to discipline their child how refreshing. I completely agree with you spanking is appropriate for certain situations not every situation warrants a spanking.

You did the right thing, I do the same as well with my boys they get a warning and if it persists they get a smack on the butt.

I would have told that woman to mind her own business and to be thankful that I am not letting her run around yelling, screaming and causing a scene.  

Answer 3

For some strange reason, society or most of it has decided that you can reason with a kid.  Look at how kids act now and I think it's because no one spanks their kids anymore.  

So many parents  have become accustomed to listening to "experts." You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones that write the books on parenting but have never changed a diaper in their lives.  

I was spanked growing up and I don't feel like I was abused or treated unfairly.  I got popped so they could get my attention because obviously I wasn't listening at the time.  

Had she got in me face I would have told her to crawl back under the rock she came from.

Edit: Malnjazo- you are going to base your parenting off of a tv show?  Are you serious?

Edit: La Vie she actually states 2 questions:

"Why can't other parents mind their own business sometimes?"

and

"Why can't people just shut their mouths and move on and at least be thankful that I don't allow my daughter to be disrespectful?"

Sounds like questions to me.

Answer 4

Well I say good on you, a small lil tap on the rear is alot better then ignoring it and letting them get away with c**p, and they turn into right lil monsters  who run amok. As for that women's comments I would of told her she could stick her opinion where the sun don't shine, for goodness sake. it's not like you're belting the child, and you did give warnings first. So I believe you did the right thing. to h**l with what close minded perfect people think.

Answer 5

Don't you just want to smack people like that?  People just expect you to parent the way THEY see fit.  s***w them.  Who cares, you do what you feel is right and Ithink you are doing fine.  

Answer 6

This has nothing to do with spanking vs. not spanking.  What works for one family might not work for others.  The issue here is that someone else tried to interfere with your parenting.  I would have looked her right in the eye and said, "If you weren't involved in the conception, you're not involved with the parenting.  Butt out."  

I don't spank, as I'm able to discipline my child without it.  However, I would never dream of interfering while another parent gave her child a spanking unless she really crossed the line (i.e. beating).

Oh, and anyone who needs to turn to Super Nanny to learn how to be a parent is rather sad.  I will admit that I watch it, but only for entertainment.

Answer 7

you were right to give her a swat it not like you beat her, just disiplined her it would be worse if you let her the way with it

Answer 8

yeah i agree with u!totally agree!

Answer 9

There is always going to be someone looking down their nose at you - and some of them won't even be parents themselves.  It's the way the world works, I think.  It reminds us that we need to keep to ourselves more and only speak out when it's in the best interest of a child we are certain is being abused.  Not knowing you, I can't say for sure, but it doesn't sound like your daughter is in any harm.  I, too, have a six year old who can get out of line from time to time and I have corrected her with a spank in a public bathroom before.  I agree that at times it's necessary and I probably would have done what you did in your same position.

I think the most you can do is just love people where they're at.  If they've never walked a mile in your shoes, they will never understand.  Hold your head high.  You did the right thing for your family in that particular situation!  Good job Mommy!

Answer 10

I hear ya!  If they're THAT concerned about children's welfare why don't go to a homeless shelter or an orphanage and volunteer their time to unfortunate children!!!

Hoity toity, LOL that's funny!!

btw: not only were you teaching her to respect your rules and not whine, you were also teaching her healthy eating habits!  That's commendable!

Answer 11

yea i kno wat u mean!!!!!!!!!! nobody better give me a talk when i have a kid about wat im doin!!! if shes actin bad then you have to do somethin you just cant let her get away with it.. i would tell them that u kno wat u r doin so!!

Answer 12

I'm extremely thankful you know how to parent!!!! Thank god people still believe in spanking these days.

You just ran into someone who will ultimately raise a brat!

Answer 13

because they have nothing better to do.

Answer 14

Stop bitching about it on the internets and confront any idiot that tells you what.

Answer 15

Totally agree! I'm glad my mama spanked me..or else I wouldn't be as respectful as I am today. Thank you parents!!! We love you!!!

Answer 16

It is because of the lack of parenting that so many kids are doing drugs, skipping school, and killing people! Thank you for making sure you children are raised with some values and respect! I can rest easy knowing your children will not be carrying a gun to school and shooting classmates.

Answer 17

water under the bridge calm your self.super Nanny sucks and so does that lady who should have been told to keep quiet or shes next.try to use or deploy a distraction method rater than the spank. a good firm hold on an arm with a look that you mean business can make a child worse.sometimes.but you have dealt all day and the childs life so has the child you.have a great relation and don't be afraid to grow up too.

Answer 18

People think they are experts.  They think they have heard some "new" information that most of the world hasn't heard and if you spank your daughter, you must be one of the 'un-enlightened' ones.  She thinks this gives her the right to 'inform' you.  

Ignore it.  Say, "Excuse me, but I'm here to shop, not discuss parenting techniques".  

These same people would be really irate if you walked up to them when their child was having a tarantula and you said to the parent, 'Maybe you should spank her instead of allowing her to act like she has no self control".

:-)  I can just imagine it...

Answer 19

i totally agree with you

Answer 20

your d**n right it's your kid who was she to say ANYTHING!!!  if somebody said something to me while I was disaplining MY kid I think I would have lost it on them!!  lol

Answer 21

People do it because they can and they think it's wrong, I also think that spanking or hitting a child solves nothing you need to watch a few of the Nanny programs or Nanny 911  

Answer 22

What exactly is your question or is this just a rant?  What answer are you looking for?  

Answer 23

Ok, I don't spank my son because it doesn't work for him and I disagree with you about supernanny because her techniques are the first things that EVER worked for my son. The naughty chair was a godsend... However, that woman at the store was way out of line. You're absolutely right- it's no one's business how you choose to discipline your child. I get so sick of hearing people act like they know it all when it comes to discipline techniques. All kids are different and what works for mine might not work for someone else's so why in the world would I ever try to tell some random stranger what to do with their kid??  

Answer 24

That woman would have gotten an earful had she spoken like that to me.

Answer 25

If more parents used discipline then there wouldn't be so many unruly kids out there. Nosy busy bodies like that just don't have better things to do and know nothing about your life and how you look after your kids. You raise them how you want and pay no attention to ignorant people like her.

Answer 26

Ugh I am totally with you on this!! I get so frustrated sometimes. Mine usually comes from my mother and sister in law. I just have very old fashioned parenting views I guess. I believe in "please and thank you's" for things, having proper manners and respect towards other people. But I always get flack from them. I say s***w that lady, and keep doing what your doing! Some people just enjoying involving themselves in others business. Hope you muttered somethings as you left! lol