Why can't some grow out of acting nervous in front of those they like?

Question

I got over this when I was 18...why can't others?

For example:

"GUYS in 20s:Even if theyre confident around other girls,do they sometimes become shy around the one they like?

Hes quiet & shy around me...

I even waved and said hi and he became really rigid and had to force a smile!! OK?! But then he stares ALOT, runs to open doors and stops talking when he sees me. Literally bang stop! Im like woah ok u can carry on talking - im only walking past you!!

BUT this is all sooo different from his normal behaviour around other girls... hes confident and laughs and jokes around flirtily..."

I'm not trying to put people like this down, but why don't they grow out of this behavior?

Answer 1

Some people are just painfully shy. It's funny how my BF is; he's really outgoing with me and his close friends, but doesn't say much when he's around others that he knows but doesn't know well.

Maybe he likes you so much he's afraid to tell you. I think he wants to impress you by opening the door and such. Maybe he's never liked anyone like you before! :)

Is he cute?  

Answer 2

Well you have to keep in mind that everyone isn't YOU and YOU are not everyone.

Some people will always be nervous. If that's a big issue for you, I would suggest hanging around people who are NOT nervous.

Problem solved.

Answer 3

Mental health issues. Not everyone will be as self sufficient or contained as you happen to be. Try to have a little more patience and compassion/empathy for the delicate spirit before you. You maybe had a chance to grow self assured and confident. What do you know of their life? Or the downtrodden existence they may have possible led?

Answer 4

Some of them have an anxiety disorder that can be treated with drugs.  Some may benefit from "talk therapy" too.

Don't make assumptions about people before you know all the facts.

Answer 5

Quite possibly he hasn't been in that position frequently enough to have worked through it.

How many times of you being put in awkward positions did it take for you? And curious here but how many of those times did you actually take the lead role in that, as opposed to one where the guy would guide you through it? It is totally different.

And yes for some when are highly attracted - there is suddenly a lose if you muck this up mentality and turns them from socially-able to disabled in seconds. If you don't feel that level of attraction then you wont get that situation.

On the other hand acting toward him to communicate that you would be receptive to him advancing may solve the problem. Assuming you are ofc.

Not all people are this way. Not all people either allow themselves to feel things so deeply either. Not all are so well composed or controlled or got over various things.