Why can't the clairvoyant witches in my neighborhood give me some g*dd*mn*d peace?

Question

I go put on my pants, there's someone in my pants already!

I breathe and they're in my lungs.

I think, and they've already deducted a theory on why I thought that.

I shower and actually feel naked, by myself in the shower.

Always asking for favors.

I want you like this, I want that, etc... (I'M NOT GOD!)

Thank God I can still get it up to jerk off!

This may sound funny but it's no joke.

It gets really loud around here sometimes.

Answer 1

If you are actually serious, it sounds as though what you are dealing with is psychic vampires. They draw on a persons energy to build their own, it is like the storybook vampires that live off blood. When you are agrivated, you expend more energy, therefore they do things that tend to bother a person.

A medical professional will probably give you medication and/or have you commited. Christian clergy would more than likely, if they do not label you as mentally unstable, claim it is demonic and pray, use holy water, baptise you or some other worthless activity. (If my answer is correct considering the limited information.)

The most effective way I have found to help someone with this situation is to have them follow a few steps, I have seen it work within 4 days.

First, ignore them, keep active and do not show any acknowledgement of their existance. If you know one is there, go somewhere else such as another room.  They will get annoyed that they are not able to draw as much energy from you and will probably get more annoying, trying to get you to respond to them.

Second step would be to just say hello when you sense them, and a comment like " this is fun, what else can you do?" This gets them to expend their energy.

Third step is that when things settle down and you feel the presence deminishing, keep attentive with steps one and two. If you do not maintain your position, they may come back with a higher degree of agrivation.

Answer 2

lay off the acid darling. i think youll have less problems when you do.

Answer 3

Wow.  I've never heard of such a thing.  I think meditation can go to far because if your mind is emptied all the time... there is room for someone/something else to fill it.

That's why I prefer prayer.  An extremely powerful prayer (it's in the Christian tradition) is St. Patrick's breastplate.   Stand up, face east.  Pray/read the prayer in a loud voice and mean it.  See what happens.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patri...

If the voices and spirits either get more agitated or disappear completely then it would seem that you have some evil that is trying to hurt you.  I would talk to a priest in the Eastern Orthodox tradition.

If the voices/spirits don't stop, go talk to a counselor.  They will have good advice for you.

Trust me.  Try it.  It works.

Answer 4

Are you remembering to wear your tinfoil hat inside?

Answer 5

Yes, a tinfoil hat is what you need.  They're magical and rob clairvoyant witches of their power.

Answer 6

Have you considered a career in journalism?

It's a great headline grabber, but further on into the article it fizzles out....lol...

Answer 7

I hear this type of complaint a lot. I always give the same answer because 99% of the time it works.

You need to see a trusted psychotherapist or psychiatrist. Not because what you're experiencing may not be real, but rather to rule out a potentially important medical situation like an impending schizophrenic break.

It is virtually impossible to self-diagnose this type of illness, so I'd strongly recommend you speak to a professional. I suspect this is the last thing in the world you want to hear, but experience has taught me that it is almost always the best route with the best possible outcome.

If it turns out that you get a clean bill of health, then you might consider politely asking the witches to back off, and perhaps they will. But that's the last step you should consider.

Answer 8

I hate it when that happens, dude! Stuff like that never seems to end. When I get done working all day, I just want a 6-pk and some TV. I don't need no clairvoyant witches messing up my night!

Answer 9

wow, what a curse.  Perhaps you should put foil over your windows.

Answer 10

Are you bothering these women?  You sound like you are harrassing them and leave them alone.   You are CREEPY!!!!

Answer 11

You say you are a musician.

I think you should do a bit of work on this post and make it into a poem or lyrics, it could be good!

Answer 12

Sounds to me like you found out they possibly deal in witchcraft and it's made you paranoid. Not to say it's not possible. They could be astral traveling over to your house. Now...if you ARE paranoid...I've just made it worse. Sorry. Maybe you should put up some crosses in your house or religious pictures. I'm sure someone on here knows a ritual you can perform. Or..you could just go talk to them and find out what's really going on.

Answer 13

You need to go to a pastor for help. Only Jesus Christ can save you.

Answer 14

Sounds like someone has placed a mojo on you, you need to