Why cant i Move on from a terrible relationship?

Question

I can't i just leave? I'm miserable? WHy do i let myself be treated so badly?

Answer 1

Compassionate people often make the mistake of sacrificing themselves in order to make the other person happy.  Of course, it never works and it's never enough.  

You need to educate yourself and get yourself a support system of people who will tell you the truth:  allowing yourself to be treated like trash is bad for you and bad for the person doing it.  

See if you can get ahold of the following books which have helped me a lot:

Boundaries - John Townsend, Henry Cloud

Codependent No More - Melody Beatty

The Verbally Abusive Relationship - Patricia Evans

Some of these may even be in your local library.

These are a good start.  Then find a support group and perhaps a counselor or church recovery group that can help.  You can start by looking for an online group.  If your relationship involves a person with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, there are specific groups for those.  

You CAN do this when you get the support you need and learn to set healthy boundaries.  You won't believe how great life can be once you get out from under that oppressive abuse.  

The Bible says that "the truth will set you free".  It's true.  I encourage you to find a church where people will show you God's love through Christ and encourage you in your journey.  

I'll send up a prayer for you!

Hope this helps.

Sincerely,

Victorious escapee from abuse!

Answer 2

because deep down inside, you're scared to be alone.

you're scared no one else is gonna want you.

you're wrong. someone better will want you.

you won't be alone forever.

<3

Answer 3

I believe it's called comfort zone . And the reasons are life long and deep . Also your boundaries are all over the place .  Lay down some boundaries, and don't let anyone cross over . That is a good start to taking care of yourself . The other person in the relationship isn't going to take care of you , you have to  .

Answer 4

Fear.  You have to take a leap and really believe the truth - which is that you can do better and find better and be happier.  It will be scary at first but you are worth the push it will take.  Treat yourself right :-)

Answer 5

because your scared of being treated badly again. meet a nice guy.

Answer 6

Just do it.  Life is short.

Answer 7

Dont. You dont have to. So many people stress about this. Few months back my ex cheated on me. I aint ready to move on and this is NOT a problem. I have some great friends, and I am building stronger friendships. Perhaps a few months down the track, one of those friendships will turn into a proper relationship, but i don't need to rush it. I rushed into a relationship thinking i needed to get over my ex once. It ruined things. I know it feels horrible but give it time, and have FUN. Thats the most important. Its not about moving on to another relationship, but realising the fun you can have whilst being single. Not to mention, being single, you can flirt with anyone and its not bad ;-)

Answer 8

Sometimes it just takes a while to get the  balls to leave, but I know you can do it and if you stay it will just get worse.  You will find someone else to be with, you will be a better person for standing up for yourself and you will be happier.  Do this for you.  Dont put up with being treated that way and trust me, do it sooner rather than later to keep from losing who you are.  It is always hard to leave what you are familiar with because we "dance with the devil we know."  Get out while you can...you'll be better off.

Answer 9

Because it's hard to change.  It's scary to think of what it will be like when you're not in your relationship anymore.  But your thoughts are worse than what it will actually be.  If you can't leave, pray that he breaks it off with you, so you can be happy.  Good luck.