Why cant i find a way to hate my ex??? ?

Question

my ex broke up with me 4 months ago. we went out for almost 2 years. we started off as best friends for over 2 years before we went out and got along great alllllll the time. we were madly in love very quickly in the relationship. we talked about kids and marriage etc etc. things werent perfect but i really did my best to keep her happy.

in the end, she left me without even talking to me about it. she just said it was over one day and that she wanted to end things like 3 months earlier because she didnt love me anymore. at this point i was ok with things because i was sure we would stay friends and i would still be able to spend time with a very special person to me.

what makes me want to hate her is that i found out that she started going out with another guy a few days (she might have even been cheating on me) after we broke up. she didnt once try to get in touch with me. she never showed she cared when she broke up with me. the day after we broke up she brought me everything i ever gave her which showed me how much she was ready to get me out of her life.

now all this would not be so bad because it probably happened to a million other people but there is one more thing. when we first began being friends, she was going through a divorce. she was a total wreck. i helped her through her divorce, improved her confidence, got her life back in order, got her career back on track and i never did anything to make her hate me while we went out.

all i asked for was for us to still be friends after we broke up and she refused it because of this other guy.

my question is, i know i should hate this girl because she is an ungrateful cheating ***** (sorry, but thats how i feel). but it still find myself wanting to be in her life.

how can i finally hate her and get on with my life?

Answer 1

Move on.You can't stay mad at her for the rest of your life. Holding a grudge against her won't solve the problem.

Answer 2

Listen i just got out of a 5 yr relationship about a month ago she couldnt trust me so she called it quits even though i didnt do anything in the present to make her not trust me she just accused me, but i didnt blame her because of what i did to her to break her trust in the first place.  I thought things were great until she said she couldnt take it anymore not trusting me.  I too still want to be in her life but things happen for a reason in this lifetime of ours.  Dont hate your ex for what she did but be grateful she existed in your life and how she will conform you into a stronger and better person.  Hating your ex doesnt help but learn to forgive her and trust me you'll be better off.  I am beginning to forgive my ex for leaving me even though i wanted to be with her but take this time to learn from your mistake.  This may be a blessing in disguise.  Life is too short and precious to waste on hating someone or give your full effort to someone who does not respect the relationship by cheating.  So youre better off.  By reading your story she seems really needy and using this guy now to get through you.  It sucks that you were there for her through her divorce because i feel that you got used.  She will always look for someone to fill that void.  Now you have to learn to be happy on your own, hopefully she will come around when you least expect it.  Good luck!