Why cant i get over my ex?he ?

Question

i've been with my ex for about 2 years, and for the most part, it was horrible...he didnt treat me right, he cheated on me, he pushed me a few times, he'd break up with me every other week, then we'd get back together...we've been broken up for over a year and a half..but since then we've sort of "rekindled" our relationship. The most recent time we were sort of together was about 5 months ago...since then i have gotten a new boyfriend of whom i have been with for 4 months... he treats me like a princess, he's the kind of guy i said i always wanted, and now that i have him i still can't move on from my ex...my ex has gotten in trouble with the law, has experimented alot with drugs, and treated me like dirt. whereas i know he doesnt deserve me, i just can't bear the fact of us not caring for each other anymore..he's been on antidepressants and from what i know has some mental disorders..idk if that plays into me feeling "hooked" but i just want to find some answers. i dont know if anyone has suggestions of what is going on here, or what i could do..i've never had such an obsession with somene, especially with him treating me bad and all..i cope with everyday situations normally, and am not depressed..he is an exception to my life being wonderful, and i hate it, i want to move on for good but i dont know what to do, time hasn't helped and neither has talking to friends and family

Answer 1

Well, as you said, there was a reason you broke up.   That reason is still valid today.

Answer 2

I heard that oftentimes one is attracted to similar behavior one has had with his/her same s*x parent. Odds are your father was either abusive or absent meaning not actively providing a good parental role in your life. Unless you seek counseling, the odds of you being attracted to this type of person is highly likely. Do yourself a favor. You cannot change the person that he is but you can change yourself. Go for counseling so that cognitively and even sub-consciously you do not seek this type of person or situation for your life. You deserve better.

Answer 3

You are an excitement junkie....Low or no self esteem requires one to focus on another even if they are a bad influence. Its the addiction to the drama not the man that you crave.

The new ( nice guy ) is too boring for you.

People that live like this ...live from tragedy to tragedy and when they dont have enough adreniline of their own going on , they stimulate the lives of others for some drama.

Feel good about yourself and learn to make your own happiness first . Then you will make a healthy choices in your relationships.

Answer 4

SOunds like the story of my ex. After a few years I finally decided that the stress I endured caused anxiety and mild depression, it sounds like youre headed that way too. Its nothing tobe ashamed of however you do need to seek help.

Answer 5

I think you can't get over him because you know for a fact that you were once taken for granted or once never loved that much. There is a certain feeling in you that still wanting to be loved the way you loved him. You need closure, dear. The answer to your problem is within and you could only solve it. People can't help you get over but you can help yourself. Eventually through time, when you already had your own realizations and you feel like getting tired of thinking of him..