Why did he stay at my house until 3:00 a.m.?

Question

He was over at my house at 9:00 and then waited for three hours for my parents to go to sleep. Then when they were asleep we started kissing, making out, and he went to third base, unstrapped my bra and I touched his reproductive organs. He asked me if I kissed any other guys and I said never he was my first kiss. Then he said "I don't think we should do this anymore because I don't think we're in it for the same reasons, and I don't want to make you do anything that makes you feel bad." (he wants a friend with benefits, he thinks I'm using s*x to get a relationship from him and don't enjoy making out or anything else) but he stayed at my house for another 2 hours. Why?

He is a lot smarter, better looking, more wealthy, mores sophisticated, and more selfess than me. My friend says he's just using me because he wants someone to make out with.

Answer 1

Reproductive organs? lol This guy wanted a hook up. He thought maybe you would change your mind.  

Answer 2

as long as you think that you are undeserving of this person, you are setting yourself up to be used.  you should never think so little of yourself that you think that this kind of relatonship is all that you are worthy of.  as soon as he said that he wanted a "friend with benefits", you should have been out the door.  that never ever works long term, and both parties are almost never on the same page about that...no matter what either person is saying.  be honest with yourself...are you trying to use this physicality to get a relationship out of him?  it sounds like you are.  thing is, he is giving you all kinds of mixed messages.  my answer for you would be that you need to stop this kind of relationship.  i would tell him that you are not comfortable with this strictly physical relationship and that you will not be continuing like this (and yes, it's only a matter of time before third base, becomes a home run...he's setting you up for that).  then, you are going to see where this guy's head is at.  if he really does like you, he might change his ways.  if he just wants @ss, he will run like h**l.  either way, you won't be wasting your time on something that's nothing.

Answer 3

He was hoping you'd give it up.

Why is this in the M&D section?

Answer 4

He's already let you know he's only in it for the nookie, why would you not believe him?

Answer 5

first of all, you should have more respect for your parents. that shouldn't be going on in their house.

Answer 6

Well if you want to look at it as the glass being half full you can just assume that he did and or does have the best of intentions towards you and doesn't want to drag you into something that you aren't ready for. He may have some feelings for you that are beyond just being friends and wants to get to know you better and or for you to get to know him better so that he can gain your trust.

However, don't let yourself walk into something with this guy blindly and do something that you may regret down the road.

Being friends with benefits is not for the weary.

I can personally attest to this situation as I have had a friend with benefits before.  However, we had a very clear understanding of one another.  Most of this understanding went unspoken. Such as we knew we were into one another but we didn't feel the need to be or want to be in a relationship. Sometimes, you can like somebody a whole lot physically and emotionally but you know the emotional side isn't going to work between the two of you. ( This was the situation in our place) We were to free spirited to be tied to one another in that way and though we dated other people we still hooked up on the side.  Seems kinda strange I guess but that's what we did for a very long time. Single or not single.  We never talked about who we were with, or if we were just physically involved with them, we didn't talk much outside of our hook up sessions and if we did it was usually about hooking up and things of that nature. We did care about one another but we were using one another as well. It was just understood and it was just easy for us. It's not always easy for both people. We both got lucky in that situation.

Phew, okay so I explained what you may or may not be getting yourself into. It's best to walk into something with your eyes open.

This kind of circumstance is probably not what you want for your first relationship. ( Well I know you said it was your first kiss but that doesn't mean it was your first relationship) however, physically do you want to give yourself to somebody who may just only be after the physical benefits? When you know that you want more for yourself on an emotional level?

The best thing to do for yourself is to be upfront with this boy and let him know how you feel about him and the situation. It may turn out that he likes you a lot more then either of you thought or that you decide together that right not it's better to just be friends without benefits or to be in an actual relationship.

<3 Good Luck!

Answer 7

Listen to your friends.

Answer 8

Maybe he likes spending time with you.  Why does staying longer have to have a complicated reason?

And this does not belong in the Marriage & Divorce category!

Answer 9

Well if your into casual s*x then go for it.  However in today society it really is better to wait.  Making out is fun and for the most part safe if you don't take it to the next level.  Use your instincts and you will be fine.  Just don't get too swept up in the moment.

~*~

Answer 10

Well, neither one of you have any respect for your family home, for a start.  

Who cares how much money, looks, etc., etc., he has - you aren't doing yourself any favours by setting him up as someone who is above you.  Who knows why he stayed - maybe he hung around because he was too drunk to drive home, or he wanted to see if you'd change your mind, or he had nothing else to do at that time of night.  

Just be grateful that he has some decency to be up front with you that he doesn't want a real relationship and forget about him.

Answer 11

sure he is just wanting something from u,some momentary pleasur.dont believe such a guy

be careful.cut away all relatinships with him

Answer 12

You have to ask yourself.. what is it that YOU WANT. Nevermind him. Do you want a relationship.. do you just want to mess around.. ? At the end of the day.. it's up to you. If you want a relationship.. and you don't see this happening with him- let it go. Be fair to yourself. If you just want a messing around buddy.. and are ok with him NOT being your bf( meaning, not calling you a lot.. not making plans with you.. b/c technically he doesn't have to).. then fine. If you think by messing around with him.. he will eventually want you to be his gf.. dont kid yourself. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free. So.. be true to yourself and your needs and make a decision. Even if you really like him.. if you are not getting what YOU Want.. let it go. Your needs come first.. and trust me.. there will be other guys out there for you. Good Luck.

Answer 13

Your "reproductive organs" huh.  I smell a troll.