Why did it hurt so much?

Question

My parents are divorced and my mom has had a boyfriend for 3 years.

I dont think he is good for her, and my relitives love him more, but i have gotten used to the situation and i guess i have gotten used to him, because i dont find myself filling with fear, rage and jealousy everytime i see him. Recently, he was with us up north with our reletives and they all love him as i mentioned before. well my little cousin, who i never get to see, but is like a second sister to me, called her uncle jim, instead of jim like she usually does. i dont know why but it felt like a punch in the stomach and i have know idea why it hurt so much.

Answer 1

I think it's really easy for me sometimes to put up with bad situations, or even less-than-ideal situations, if other people recognize them for what they are.  But when the people around me think everything is just great...that's when it really hurts.  We are communal creatures.  We desire support, openness, truth... Did it hurt because you felt so alone maybe?  Like no one really understood the situation for what it was?

I wish I could help.  But here are some ((((hugs)))

Answer 2

maybe the punch in the stomach was a pain knowing the fact that he's not officially apart of the family and is in the position of  taking the role of "father, uncle..." and your not comfortable knowing you dont need a replacement since you have your father in your life. maybe the reason why you dont think he's good for your mom is because you're measuring him up to your dad and to you he cant even compare. its normal to feel this way espe. since its still barely 3yrs. i understand and think its completely normal but i just think and hope it will feel better. just know that he cant and will never replace your dad.

Answer 3

It's probably just that you don't like him, and you don't want to be expected to call him Dad. If he really doesn't seem good for your mom, then tell your mom, and look into his eyes. You can see all sort of things in peoples eyes, like if they're lying or if they're soulless.