Why did they test my son without my consent?

Question

My son started kindergarten a week ago and for some reason I got a voice mail from the speech pathologist today. I then left him a voice mail as he would not answer his phone when I called back less than an hour later.

I'm having all kinds of thoughts going through my head. Bryan did get a tooth knocked out accidentally at age three and has lost the three other baby teeth in the top front. He is just now getting a permanent tooth for one of the front and center gaps. It's unfortunate that he lost so many of his teeth at once, but it was out of our control?

I have a feeling they want to talk to me about his mispronunciation of F's Th's, R's and W's. Will I be able to decline the services until he's older? I just feel it will all come together when he's in second or third grade and they don't have to sit there in a little room drilling him over and over and correcting him over and over on his sounds while he's only five!

Will I be able to tell them to back off unless and until it's an issue in 2nd-3rd grade. I don't want my son labeled in his second week of kindergarten, thanks.

Answer 1

I wish that had been done for me when I was younger - I'm an adult now, and I have a really embarassing lisp now.

@ summergal: WTF kind of loser college do you go to? People in college are adults, they should know better than to make fun of someone for talking differently.  

Answer 2

There's nothing wrong with getting help with your son's speech problem. The teacher is there to help, maybe she could have contacted you first but this way he will learn to develop proper speaking skills. You'd rather have him do it now rather than later. I developed Meniere's Disease a few months ago and it causes a hearing loss; I'm in college so it's devastating, I speak differently than I used to and people always make fun of me. I WISH I could take speech if I could I would but I'm not in grade school anymore. Get your son the help he needs this way he can reach his full potential.

Answer 3

I know at my kids orientations they told everyone what they would be testing the kids for, and in most states, these kind of tests are required by law. As well, I signed papers before they accepted my son to give permission to do all these tests. They are for the good of your child, you shouldn't be upset they tested him, you should be glad they did, at least if he needs some help in this area, he will get it and not be left behind because he isn't speaking at his age level. At least our schools care enough to test for deficiencies in our children. You may not remember what you signed when your kids started school, but I am sure they are justified in testing your kid. Let your kid get as much help as he can now, kids won't remember his spweech problem in Kindergarten, but will be more likely to tease him or her in the higher grades. It's not about you or people labeling your son as a punishment, they want to help him achieve what all the other kids are achieving at his/her age.My nephew is repeating preschool due to speech and behavior problems. He stutters really bad and no one can really understand much of what he says. Better to hold a kid back at that age than pass him through undetected to suffer from low self esteem as they get older because no one let them get the help and tutoring they needed. Kids tease you if you are different or not. They do hearing, vision, and mental health assessments as well, it's usually told to the parents at orientation and papers are usually sent home to be signed. Pay closer attention next time a paper is sent home for a signature, you may have signed the paper and not read it. I do that all the time.

Answer 4

No, no, no........the sooner the better.......really, it is wonderful that they start in K! This is such a common speech difficulty and very easily overcome....but please allow him to get the help now. The older he gets the more difficult it will be for him in many ways.

Answer 5

They tested my daughter that has braces and a mouth spacer without my consent. Then they told me she couldn't pronounce S's and T's right and wanted to give her speech therapy that would cut into Math time. Uhm, no. I wouldn't give consent based on the fact that I obviously felt it would be torture to try to get a child a make certain sounds when they physically couldn't. That was the last I heard. That was last year. This year her mouth piece/spacer is out and she talks more clearly. They haven't mentioned it since.

In most states they will need your consent to go further, but not to test. I just didn't think it was worth cutting into Math time and they respected that. That's public school for you. If you think he will be speech delayed, go ahead and do it- but not if it cuts into valuable learning time.

Answer 6

I would seriously think of putting it off, at least for right now.

He's missing so many teeth and it's hard to pronounce those letters.

I would definately find out what the speech pathologist wanted and ask for some information or point you in a direction that may help him at home.  

Answer 7

I agree with you.

You should be able to tell them to hold off on the speech services.

He's still young!

-Lilly

Answer 8

Its fine. The teacher is acting in your sons best interest.  Its either free in the school system, or you can pay out of pocket for a professional speech therapist in a different town.

And speech therapy isn't that bad. When I was 5, my parents paid for one. i was so young, I thought it was just a nice lady in a stuffy house. I remember playing with toys and her cat.  The younger the better. Trust me. I have no problems speaking now except for the fact that I can't shut up.

Answer 9

Please keep in mind how many parents are out there who are ignoring their children's problems.  The schools are trying to act in the best interests of the kids.  I'm not saying you are one of those parents.  It's obvious you are aware of the issue and have already decided how to handle it.  I don't see anything wrong with it.

I would wait until you actually get to talk to the person.  It's not so much that he was tested without your knowledge, as it sounds like his speech problem is obvious... right?  Just relax and see what they have to say, then make an appointment to go and talk to them about what they want to do.  It's not a conversation I'd have over the phone.

I'm not sure, but I think most public schools have the right to act in the best interest of the child, which would include testing.  It doesn't mean we have to agree with it, but it's still there.  Good luck to you and your little one.

Answer 10

I had a problem pronouncing my r's and a few other letters b/c of my teeth growing in crooked b/c i pulled them out in first grade and wiggled them so much I moved two of the roots of the top teeth back like 1/4 and 1/8 of an inch, and my teeth are perfectly straight now, but I still have trouble saying words with r's in them.  You may want to consider allowing him to have speech pathology, with kids they play most of the time and they make it really fun.  I never went and really think I should have.  My cousin  and brother did, and they didn't mind it at all.  I have seen little ones in speech pathology having fun, not even knowing they were there to learn how to talk.  I think they should have called you before doing anything, but I also think that you may want to  considering letting him have speech pathology.  He will have fun, and no one will judge him for it at his age, if you don't want to go through the school, you county can probably provide him an him home speech pathologist for free like once a week or something. Then it will be like he has someone come play with him once a week.  I would do it sooner rather than later,b/c the older the kids gets, the meaner they get.  I don't think a second or third grader would be mean about this, but you never know, so if you could fix it while he's young and accepted by his peers no matter what it would be better.  You could even let him try it and decide if he want to continue.  I went to reading lab in first grade b/c my kindergarten school did start teaching us to add 2 letter together to make a word, so I was behind in reading, after 3 months i was out of reading lab, I liked it and didn't mind going at all.  I really wish someone had gotten me speech pathology when I was younger, people say I have a boston or nyc, (or even other places) accent, I had trouble with one kid in 6th grade being mean about it, and really wish that I could have had it taken care of when I was younger.  I'm in college now and people like my "accent" but I really don't b/c I have to repeat stuff alot.  Also, my grandma used to get really mad at me b/c she couldn't understand me when I talked, and I also had bad hearing too (they tested it, so not just selective), so she had to repeat herself too, so she always gave me a hard time, among other adults too.  I really think you should get it taken care of now, it may get overlooked in 3 years when you say you would like to deal with it is if still occurs, or you might get used to is and think theres nothing wrong with his speech.  He won't be "labeled" b/c he gets help with speech.  Good luck, hopefully it is just b/c of his teeth missing.

Answer 11

My son went to speech therapy when he was 4 - I asked the pediatrician if his speech was okay - he had a hard time with the letters L, R, and S. The doctor agreed and he had speech therapy - no big deal. His speech is fine now - I'm so glad we took care of it when he was young. I think it's routine for kids to be checked by a speech pathologist when they are in Kindergarten - it's really not that big of a deal. Be prepared, in 1st grade they will check his vision without telling you too.

Answer 12

I do agree that they should have asked you before testing him.  My children's school always sends home a paper explaining when and what they are going to test & they can't begin testing until I sign & return the form.  I just call if I have any questions or concerns.  It would seem to me that he's only having a hard time because of all the missing teeth, but I'm not an expert & maybe you should just talk to them & ask.  If it's because of the missing teeth I don't see where speech therapy could help, but if it's something else then I would consider letting him go.  I don't think in K the kids would tease him or even know where he is going.  But when you talk to them just mention that you would like to know in advance next time they decide to do anything like that.  Good luck!!

Answer 13

Well missing teeth are a cause of pronouncing sounds wrong. Plus he is just in Kindergarten. I think it was wrong for them to test him like that. They need to contact you first and then get your permission and ask what you think.

I would be so angry if they did this with my child.

Answer 14

They should have called you with their concerns.  However, it would be best for your son to be treated as soon as possible if he does need speech therapy.  You don't want to put this off.  It will be harder for him to learn the proper ways to speak and children will start to make fun of him.  

Answer 15

I totally agree with you. I would want to be notified before anything happened that wasn't apart of a regular school day. But I was in speech class in Kindergarten and we had fun. We played games and I felt privileged because I got to go somewhere my whole class couldn't go. I was only in their a couple of months. I had no idea i had a speech problem and no idea that it was fixed when I was done. I barley remember it, but I wasn't teased or anything like that.

      Besides maybe the speech class teacher has worked with kids that are missing teeth and know the difference between the two. Just a question. I belive it is best to get them the help they need earlier on, because in the 3rd grade his friends may tease him for having to go (seems kids get meaner with age) to speech therapy. Well whatever you decide to do will be a good choice because your his mom. Best of luck to you both!

Answer 16

I vaguely remember when i was that age, but i do know that i had speech. I started it when  I was in preschool, I had a lot of health issues so was in and out and still have trouble with words with like "dr" i say drawer as "jore" or i add letters sometimes...but i could imagine how bad i would of been if i hadn't any at all...I am thankful...I had trouble with "r" and "s". My brother had trouble with one of the 2 and my sister the other one and lucky me i had trouble with both...people just make fun of me now and say I am speaking "Julie language" anyhow I am glad I got it.....I had it for years...again it was intermediate..but I am still glad...by the way neither one of my siblings have any problems now.

P.S....i remember always enjoying speech, I thought I was special cause I got to go. It was never a negitive thing...I always enjoyed it.

Answer 17

You probably signed some kind of consent form when your son started school. But ask yourself this...what if you're wrong about the tooth problem? What if your son does need speech therapy? It is usually fun for kids to participate in these kinds of activities. I really wouldn't worry about it. At least they are concerned and trying to help.

Answer 18

i  think it is common practice. They can't force you to use his services or anything but at least listen to what he has to say it may not even be tooth related.  

Answer 19

You are definitely right. This is your child, they should not do anything without telling you. You should talk to the teacher. If she doesn't answer you, go to the principal or an administrator, whoever you can get. Not only did they do this without your consent or notifying you, they now won't answer your calls? Ridiculous. I agree with you, that this will most likely work itself out. I had a friend who had dental work done when she was in sixth grade. She entered middle school not being able to say words with 'sp' and she slurred a lot but it worked itself out by the end of the year. They should not put him in any speech class without your consent.  

Answer 20

My oldest son just turned 5 and I have had him in speech therapy.  He was and still has a hard time with some of his sounds.  Now, his preschool did consent with me first, but you also have to understand that they don't just sit them in a room bored for hours.  The teacher actually plays word games with them and it is sometimes even done with a group of kids his age.  Nobody is "labeling" your child.  Mine just started kindergarten and the teacher informed me one afternoon that the speech teacher had talked to him.  Yes, I agree that the school/ teacher should have informed you first, but the speech class is not a prison!!  Mine had the best time and he is only 5!!  I was in speech therapy in kindergarten and first grade.  

Answer 21

I think its automatically a case of a teacher having to report to the speech therapist when a child is having problems speaking. All she would have to do is talk to him and know that he has problems.

She will want to talk to you about it and what can be done. You and she together can figure out what is best for your son. She may be able to help him learn to speak more clearly now so he won't have to struggle for a few more years.

Don't worry about the label. Many kids go to speech therapy in the early grades. It isn't a stigma that is going to affect him negatively. Everyone can tell he has trouble with certain sounds so they are more likely to wonder why he isn't going than to judge him because he is.

It will be ok. Talk to him and then make an informed decision once you know all the facts. She is a trained expert and will be able to make sure you have all the information you need. Its possible that she is concerned he is learning bad habits of trying to compensate that will hurt him in the future. You won't know until you talk to her.