Why didn't he invite me to his friend's wedding

Question

If a couple have been dating for almost a year. Should the guy invite the girlfriend to his friend's wedding. or at least ask her if she wanted to go? if he didn't do both, what does this say about their relationship and the guy?

Answer 1

The guy most certainly should invite the girlfriend to the wedding; however other posters are correct that perhaps he was sent an invite that was to him only, and without the +1 option, so it's hard to say what the lack of an invite actually says about the relationship and the guy.

That said, if you have been together for nearly a year, then you should automatically be included in the invite, unless this is some long lost friend that you've never met, you should be invited.  And even if it is some long lost friend, your boyfriend should still rsvp that he is bringing a guest and bring you along, or at least call the couple and explain that he is in a comitted relationship and wants to bring his girlfriend.  Imagine if the two of you had eloped in the year, would people expect that simply because it doesn't say +1 that you shouldn't go along?

I personally hate the fact that some people send out wedding invites that don't allow for guests.  How egotistical of people to presume that a person will just be happy to be in the presence of the happy couple and not possibly want to share the evening with someone special other than the chosen ones of the wedding...but I digress.  I think if people can't afford to allow their guests to bring someone, then they should rethink their budget or their guest list.  With the exception of cousins in high school who think that just because they have a new bf or gf at the age of 15 that they should be able to bring them to the wedding.  But again, I digress.  Once a guest is an adult they should be allowed to bring their own significant other or guest of their choosing.  Especially if they are in a comitted relationship.

This begs the question though, perhaps your relationship isn't as serious as you think it is, and he is certainly giving you a sign of how he feels.  Or, perhaps he is just a bit on the slow side (many men are in these social situations) so if I were you I would ask him directly.

Don't put too much stock in him not asking you, this could be one of those things that he is just clueless and didn't realize that it was the right thing to do.  Put the shoe on the other foot.  Ask him how he would feel if you were invited to a wedding and chose to go to the wedding by yourself.  In light of the fact that everybody in the world says that weddings are a great place to meet people, I would think that he wouldn't want you showing up in your cutest little black dress all by your lonesome.  

Give him the chance to explain himself and then offer some gentle guidance of how he should handle the situation.   Good luck!    

Answer 2

maybe you were not invited, so he can't bring a guest. Alot of times the bride and groom cannot afford to allow everyone to bring a guest, so they only allow those that live togehter, are married, or engaged, bring a guest. This is what i am doing

Answer 3

All you can do is ask him and find out

Answer 4

It says he didn't get a "plus one" on his invite. maybe the couple didn;t know he was seeing someone seriously, and didn't think to add "and guest". If he wasn't specifically told he COULD bring a guest, he did the right thing by not inviting his girlfriend. Couples who are on a budget often don't let single friends bring guests because they simply can't afford that many guests. Or maybe the couple knew he had a girlfriend and just didn't know that the rule of etiquette is to invite BY NAME the significant other of the guest, if they have been dating for at least 6 months to a year, or if they live together. Either way, if the girlfriend wasn;t invited by the couple, it would have been rude for her boyfriend to take her to the wedding.

It may also be that "almost a year" isn't a long enough time in this particular guy's eyes to consider the relationship serious. This doesn;t say anything bad about the guy or the relationship. It just means he isn;t "there" yet.  

Answer 5

Ask HIM why he didn't bring you.  Perhaps you weren't invited by the bride and groom.

Answer 6

Perhaps he was not invited to bring a guest.  Dates are not automatically invited to weddings. Especially if the bride and groom do not know you.

Answer 7

Yes he should... if you knew him and the girlfriend then yes definitely. Not sure why he wouldnt invite you, ask him

Answer 8

No weddings are expensive and the couple are probably trying to save money by only inviting close people.

Dont get offended by it it probably wasn't his decision!

Answer 9

If he had }+ guest on his RSVP then yes he could have invited his girlfriend. I suppose there are a variety of possible answers. As some said, maybe he doesn't think it's as serious as you do? Did you talk it over with him at all? I don't mean to shoo you away from looking for objective third party feedback, but if you're having concerns with a boyfriend, the sign of a real long lasting and committed relationship is being able to trust that you can have a constructive conversation and communicate your feelings about different situations and have them respected. So hard for anyone else here to surmise what was going through his head. We don't know him. We don't know you, we don't know the status of your relationship. Again, the first of several rationale that I could think of the RSVP thing. And no, couples are not obligated to add plus guest to the single guests on their list. It's their guest list and their budget, and one person gets slighted for not being allowed to bring a guest because they're not married or engaged or living together (there has to be a line drawn somewhere), so they think a couple should automatically just squeeze it in their budget to allow every person to bring someone. One person probably thinks they make no bigh difference adding their girl/boyfriend, but let's pretend we have a guest list of 100 that is just basic family and friends (quite plausible) and then let's pretend we have 20 single guests in that 100, and we are supposed to add plus guest to all 20? Factor in anywhere from 20-50 dollars per head just for food and add booze if that is provided, and you're supposed to increase your budget by 400-1000 dollars? That's a lot extra to budget for just because one is supposed to assume all the single people should be allowed to bring someone in CASE they happen to be dating anyone at the time. Sorry, I'm just on a rant tonight, not directed at you.

My suggestion for you though is to just ask your boyfriend simply and outright- how he handles that conversation will also be some indication to you of how serious he sees your relationship.

Answer 10

Not to sound rude, but maybe you weren't invited.

Its not anything personal against you but some people can't afford to pay for extra guests.

I'm getting married next year and there are some people that I am inviting and I have to ask them not to bring a date.

Some people send invitations that say:

We have reserved _____ seat(s) in your honor.

And the people fill in how much space is available.  

Maybe his said 1.  he might not have said anything to you becuase he didn't want it to hurt your feelings.

Without getting irritated just ask him.  

And don't make a big deal out of it.

Answer 11

yeah he should have, you should ask him why he didn't. maybe he's not that in to you ?