Why didn't the Queen allow me into her Royal box?

Question

This weekend at Royal Ascot. I think she's had it in for me ever since I shot one of her corgis that weekend she spent up at the manor, the blighter relieved itself on my rose bush after all. The corgi that is not the Queen.

Answer 1

Insolent knave! To the Tower with you! Off with your head, what!

You see, old bean, one simply cannot let the plebs into one's Royal box, now, can one!

Answer 2

Why on earth would you want to get into the royal box old sport?

We both know full well that it is full merely of women whom are either a) 110 years old, b) inbred or c) absolutely impossible to bear.  

I told you that after I was allowed in last year.  

And considering that the area around the royal enclosure is absolutely full of totty on Ladies Day, I think I'd much rather be outside of the enclosure than actually inside it.  

Of course, this is all academic... the Duchess has me chained to a radiator with my ankles broken after I tried to flee when her mother came to call a few days ago...

~Edit~

Just so long as Bongo doesn't harm the Duchess.  I want that honour to be mine.

Answer 3

Maybe she isn't as classy as she thinks, class has good manners its not about the money.

Answer 4

That wasn't a corgi you shot, you daft dolt -- it was the Princess Margaret.

Answer 5

Bloody 'ell, what did you expect?

Answer 6

i hear the royal box is a tad dusty these days anyway, few cobwebs, you know, not quite antique but on its way...

Answer 7

You are not an orse

Answer 8

The *****..ignore her i waved at her in the street the other day and she ignored me..her loss

Answer 9

Filthy blighter!

Answer 10

Read your Burke's Peerage, you insolent knave.

Answer 11

I think her Maj would understand.  After all it was your roses.

I expect it's more to do with the size of your bank balance.

Answer 12

The Queen has been unable to allow anyone into the Royal Box for nearly two decades.  This is because she has not been able to find anyone to clean out the Royal Box or to give it the airing it so desperately needs.  At present it is a dusty, flaky, cavernous compartment.  If you had been allowed into the Royal Box you would have been very uncomfortable indeed.

As for your dispatch of her dog, the Queen was not displeased at all.  In fact, "Shooting the Corgi" is a euphemism for something that has not happened to the Queen for a very long time.  Subsequent to that incident the Queen sequestered herself in her private apartments for several hours with her favorite "Bob the Builder" vibrating lunchbox.   After much audible huffing and puffing, Her Highness emerged looking refreshed and rejuvenated, and even a bit dewy.

Answer 13

She may be some what of an elitist old chap. Consider yourself snubbed.

Answer 14

Perhaps that incident last year when you accused Phil the Greek of watering the gin down and then when being ejected from the box you farted and blamed Anne. Shooting the Corgi didn't enter into the equation, she has plenty more, but accusing Phil, tut, tut, you should have ended up in the tower.

Answer 15

You suffer from BO and smelly feet

Answer 16

Why should you desire to go slumming, old boy?

Answer 17

Her Majesty confessed to me in private last week that her doors had rusted permanently shut. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, old boy, but once the doors are welded shut from disuse you cannot get them open again. Philip has not visited the Queen's Royal box since the Yanks landed on the Moon, what?

Cheers on shooting one of those wretched litle beasts; still have a scar from one of the little wankers.

Answer 18

Ah, "Royal Box" is in fact the nickname used by the family for Prince Philip.  I think Her Majesty may have misinterpreted your request old chap, hence her reticence.  Did you enter a horse at Ascot as usual old chap, or was Princess Margaret unavailable?

Answer 19

because Philip got there first

where do you think her kids came from if not from the Royal Box

Answer 20

Don't feel too bad, she doesn't let her husband there anymore either.