Why do I always choose the bad one?

Question

I was dating this really sweet guy. He was everything I ever wanted in a man and he put up with all my little annoyances with just a smile. Then here comes this guy who is a total player and it's so obvious. When I talk to him on the phone he is sweet one minute and yelling at me the next. He plays head games constantly and says things meaning to hurt my feelings. He really isn't that attractive compared to the other guys I have dated. I stopped dating the sweet one to be with him and all I ever try to do is make him happy just hoping he will be sweet again. What is wrong with me? I always want the one that is meanest to me. Every guy I want the most is the evil one. That cannot be normal. I want to love the nice one

Answer 1

Most girls think they can "fix" guys into being perfect.  Nobody can.

Answer 2

I have several theories....

1. our parents determine our idea of adults.  We tend to pick people that mirror our parents to allow us to assume an adult role of our same gender, i.e. you look for someone like your father so you can act like your mother.  This get's ingrained in our early mind before we develop information filters.

2. You look for alpha males, Who act confident, secure and powerful.  Generally alpha males don't feel like they have to act nice, except when it serves them, since they have so many other things going for them.  Males who fall under the second class citizen status will try anything to win a girls affection.  Which is a sign of weakness to most girls.  Usually as they hit 27-30 this becomes more attractive, it allows them be more in control of the relationship.  These are the "Yes dear, i'm sorry dear, it'll never happen again dear." guys.

3. you're trying to punish your father by picking guys he'd hate.  Akin to trying to make him jealous so he can prove his love.

4. you were abused at some point and in your head you associate emotional/physical pain with love.  With girls it seems the earlier it happens the stronger the need becomes, the closer to adulthood the degree of need seems to lessen.  With sexual abuse it becomes s*x and not pain that fills the same need.

5. You're not ready to find a mate forever and so you look for guys you can get rid of easily.  Guys that ditching won't be too much of a problem with because they really do deserve it.

6. You like bi-polar guys during their sweet phase... which is the sweetest and then get confused when they hit thier nasty/depressed phase, which is as nasty/bad as the sweet phase is sweet.

pick any, pick several, pick none... You know you better than I do...

Answer 3

I know! it always happens like that. But for me I start out liking the bad boy and then get fed up and go with the good boys which are way hotter. We want they bad boys because they don't like us as much as we want them to like us so we decide we want to try and change their minds.

Answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

It all boils down to mommy and daddy!! How they treated you affects the kind of men you choose.  

Answer 5

you're afraid to be happy

Answer 6

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

You'll learn soon enough.

Answer 7

i think it is how most women react... women are nurturers and will always want to help...

YOU WANT HIM TO BE NICE TO YOU!! its not that you are goign after his bad sad... but you feel like you can bring that nice side out... so naturally you want to perfect that.

Most women feel like they can change their man...not necessarily because he needs it, but because they want to feel like their presence had a purpose.. that you were there for them when they needed it..

you are normal after all...

hope this made sense.

Answer 8

I am not saying that this describes you, but so many women want the bad boy...they fantacize being the woman the bad boy will change for....it's a damaged ego hangup, believing that they have to prove themselves worthy.

Answer 9

we want to have which is difficult to have. Its typical of mills and Boons. which keep you fantasizing about bad guys and make them falling to you and feeling proud for that.you feel unique in that way. with a sweeter and softer guy, u feel sometimes boring.  its typical of immature woman who want good words from a bad guy.

Answer 10

you're a typical chick, and by that i mean dumb

Answer 11

Don't try tpo please him or anything.Nice guys always finsh last.You want his attention which you can't get just stay away from him for a while try dating another person end it Its will end up affecting you later on,

Answer 12

your question is stupid there is nothing that we can say or do to help you