Why do I always feel sad and down when my girlfriend does something that I find not right?

Question

I am still studying but I have a girlfriend. I tend to easily get hurt or feel sad and down over things that my girlfriend does. Even though sometimes its not wrong but it just hits me somewhere.

For example:

She doesn't reply when I say I love you.

I know she loves me. I know she does, but the thing is I always expect a reply. If she does not, I tend to go all moody.

She is the type of person who keeps things to herself.

That disturbs me as well at times because you know, in a relationship, as a boyfriend, I am supposed to be able to listen to the other half and help her. My other half keeps everything to herself. I can't seem to take it out of her.

When we fight, its not always shouts, screams and swears. Its just that whenever fight, its just that she keeps quiet. When I ask her what's wrong, she says that she doesn't want to tell. She'll say she's lazy to talk about it and she asks me to forget about it and just not talk about it anymore. The thing is, I am the type that wants to know what I did wrong so that I can fix myself. If not instantaneous, at least slowly would suffice but she would not let me know. I get very upset and I tend to ask her over and over again why is she like that and what is wrong and all those. All I get is a simple, "Nothing".

I also feel that sometimes she talks to me differently. When she talks when she's busy doing something. I feel like I am being ignored totally.

When she is with her friends, I also sometimes think that she's ignoring me. When she says to me she's moody and she'll be quiet for that day, I will say alright, have your time. Then later in the day I'll see her laughing and smiling with her friends. I get happy seeing her like that but then when I am with her alone, she's not that cheery as she was with her friends. When I confront her, she says its because her friends treat her as though she's not moody.

Should I feel bad over these things?

Answer 1

My ex was exactly like this. I don't like drama at all - nowhere, anywhere in my life. So when it comes up, as I know it will, I tend to want to talk about it. Get it out in the open but she refused to talk to me about. She clammed up, silently suffered about things I did that were bothering her and I was none the wiser because she gave that old "nothing is wrong" answer when I can clearly see there is. When our relationship finally ended, I realized communication is very important in any relationship, in every relationship. Her failure to communicate with me, for whatever reason, was the ultimate cause for the demise of our marriage. Trying to force someone to communicate with you won't work either - either she wants to because she cares about you and the relationship or she won't because she cares only for herself. If she won't communicate and verbally tell you what's wrong or even what's right in her life, you two are destined for breakup.

To answer your question, yes you should feel bad over these things.

Answer 2

This question does not belong in "Marriage", but then neither do you and this girl child.

Answer 3

You seem to be very concerned in fact to concerned with how your girlfriend is feeling & what she is thinking way to much. Don't ever try to figure a female out, this is time consuming & will get you no where. Sure you can feel bad about these things, that's your choice, or you can let things be as their gonna be, as you cant change anything, you have no control over her feelings, but you do have control over how you handle your own thinking.  

Answer 4

It does not sound as though you two have much in common; she is evasive and keeps to herself and you tend to be moody and introspective and overly sensitive. Bad match. Find someone more compatible with yourself, someone who is more open and willing to talk about what's going on and not withdraw from you.

Answer 5

sounds to me like u picked a winner