Why do I always learn the hard way??

Question

I got emotionally involved with a guy who I knew I shouldn't have got involved with

But once again I didn't listen to the warning signs and for some reason I thought I'd be able to simply NOT get emotionally involved with him just by the fact I didn't want to!

I suppose I'm grappling with the fact and realising I'm human - but its so hard - coz what you feel is what you feel even if you don't want to feel it!!!

I just want to be stronger and avoid people who could potentially hurt me in the future ... Thing is I thought I had learnt that one already - but obviously not

When will I bleeding learn - ok - I bailed as soon as he hurt me - but by then it was too late - damage done

Ok - you're gonna say look before you leap - true - but I think my mistake was thinking that I could totally control my feelings - but I'm not a bleeding robot - unfortunately!!!

I'm fed up of liking the wrong guys - and I suppose I MUST avoid them even if I like them ... but it is hard ... coz I like them

The only good news is I don't hang around and take their sh*t once the **** happens

Plus I didn't have s*x with him - nowhere near thank God ... I just couldn't do it!!

But I think I'm gonna have to try and ignore / avoid these kind of guys - even if I like them - which I WISH I DIDN'T!!

Answer 1

hehe...before the right one turns up thers a long ( or short) line of wrong ones :)

its life, it happens and its meant to happen..

you may think its the end of the world now.. but soon when you meet the right guy, it will all be worth it :)

Answer 2

A few years ago, I had the same problem.  A lot of young women are subconsciously attracted to "dangerous" men.  As soon as you see those warning signs, confront your new boyfriend immediately.  Let him know you've been hurt before, and you don't like the direction tings are moving.  Remember, it's always easier to break up with a guy sooner rather than later.  It may hurt, but as you've already seen, it hurts worse to wait until they've hurt you, physically or mentally.

You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can control the company you keep.  Avoid the "dangerous" crowd, and you're sure to meet a nice young man who'll treat you right.

And don't worry.  Your attraction to danger will fade with time.  It's just really frustrating while it lasts. XD

Answer 3

Oh, you're preachin to the choir sister. I totally get what you mean. I, unfortunately, have been down that path for most of my dating life knowing I should be choosing the other, more clearer path but for some reason I continue to take the chance and hope for the best. But is that really all that bad...taking chances and learning? That is how we learn, and sometimes we can't truly enjoy that good times if we haven't had to go thru the bad. I still do what I want to do I just make sure that I am fully aware that it may not work out or be totally perfect for me and I am okay with that, because ultimtaly I will take it all as a learning experience and continue to grow. And that is great that once they start giving you c**p you bail! I used to put up with a lot of nonsense, but now I am stronger, more independent, and know what I want as a woman. It sucks going thru the bad, but I believe there is a reason. And you seem like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders, so you'll figure it out.

Answer 4

Stop looking for love and let it happen. You can't manufacture emotions to suit an occasion and expect your body and mind to go along.

Answer 5

I know too well where you're coming from as i fell for a player (and had s*x yikes) and by the time i realised it was too late and i was caught and hurt like h**l. I guess we're really sensitive, caring sorts who seem to act like a beacon to these jerks. i guess we just have to hope that someone worthy of our attention and the deep love we offer will come along, and try to protect our hearts in the meantime. If you find a way to do that please let me know :-)