Why do I care so much and does he?

Question

My husband's friend (I have known him since before we were married) has been on my mind in the last few months. He has always been very nice to me but I have caught him starring at me a lot. He always talks about how much he wants someone to be with but can't seem to find anyone.

He had dinner with us a couple of weeks ago and I kept catching him starring at me throughout his entire visit.

Last night we went over to his house to visit and I caught him starring at me even more. He is usually very shy and reserved but he and my husband ended up drinking. When we went to leave he gave me a long, very tight hug and told me he was so happy that I came over and that I can come over anytime (I have never gotten a hug from him, even at our wedding).

Since this happened I can't stop thinking about it. Does he want to be with me? The way he kept looking at me wasn't the way a friend looks at another friend.

I am happily married with 3 kids but have always found this man attractive (even before me and my husband dated).

We are having a party tomorrow and he will be there. Do you think he wants me? If so I will make sure that I stay sober!

Please help, he's so sweet I don't want to hurt him or make him uncomfortable if I am reading things wrong!

Answer 1

He may see you as an attractive woman...BIG DEAL!...Doesn't mean that he wants to be with you...or would even hop at the chance if given the green light....I think you have more of thing for this guy then you are willing to admit....If he is truly that uncomfortable around you...then he would be making up excuses to not come around...

Answer 2

Tell this to your husband! If you love him you will and if not youre a w***e who deserves to lose her family. Mean but true. Good Luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like he's perhaps a little envious of the life and love that his friend has and would like to find the same.  Maybe he is interested in you but I'm sure his loyalty to your husband as a friend would hopefully keep that in check.  And I might add, your loyalty as a wife should mean that nothing will ever happen.  Who cares if he has a crush on you if you're never going to act on it?  I think you're fishing here and almost LOOKING for something to happen.  If I were you, I would simply act normal around him and continue to be his friend until he makes that impossible.

Answer 4

he wants to stik it in u

hook him up with a friend

Answer 5

If you are happily married with 3 kids, then you shouldn't wonder or worry about a thing.  Who cares if he keeps staring at you.  Maybe he is attracted to you.  SO WHAT!  

Alot of guys could be attracted to you even if you're married.  Just take that as a compliment.  Don't ruin your marriage, especially if he's your husband's friend.  If you were smart, you would tell your husband to watch him and see what he has to say.  

Just stop thinking about something that could ruin your marriage!

Answer 6

He is attracted to you.See if you can fix him up with someone.

By the way,you said you would stay sober,why would you get drunk if you have 3 kids?

If he is as good looking as you say, then the women should be lining up to go out with him.Something is wrong here.

Answer 7

It may very well be that he's attracted to you.  You've noted that you find him attractive.  Consider the possibility that you could be putting off signals that give him the idea that you're interested.  You may even be doing it subconsciously.  Try to pay close attention to your mannerisms, tone and body language to be sure you aren't putting off any signals.  If possible, don't respond to his passive behavior of watching you or anything.  Act like you don't notice it.  If he attempts to pursue you directly, just address it very directly and tell him you aren't interested.  Really, all you can do is keep an eye on the situation and control your own behavior.  

Answer 8

Well my first suggestion is that you need to talk to your husband about it, it is certainly inappropriate for him to be acting this way. It sounds like you might be enjoying the attention though, and this is not a bad thing, it is just a situation that could go places you don't want or need it to go. You say you are happily married to your husband, yet you have thoughts and feelings for this man. You find him "attractive" could this be "lust" and is it worth loosing your marriage over? Sometimes we get so "comfortable" in our daily life, routine, and marriage.............and we tend to look for things that challenge us, give us a rush or help us to remember the rush of things. It is normal, but if you are TRULY happy in your marriage, I would put a stop to it now, and if you are not happy, then you need to start the process of ending your marriage. Listen to your heart, and trust your instincts, they won't lead you atray. ~Good Luck~

Answer 9

That was honest of you to mention it to your husband, you must love him a great deal, and trust that he will handle it for you.  His friend is acting incorrectly towards you, and you have to tell him to back off.  If you are afraid to hurt his feelings, do not be, if react to his like your leaning you will destroy your family.

Answer 10

well the cat's out of the bag now..   Why would you post somethinhg like this on the WEB!   I'd be suprised if your hubby doesnt see this  WOW!  

Answer 11

re: I am happily married with 3 kids

.....FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR 3 KIDS..........

don't do something really stupid and selfish!