Why do I constantly feel like he is lying to me?

Question

I have been with my bf for about 8 yrs. on and off. We care for each other deeply and I honestly have to say that if it wasn't for my problem with thinking he is constantly lying we would have a wonderful relationship....better than what it already is. We communicate well with each other and are madly in love. I just feel that this issue I am dealing with is preventing me from being all that I can be in this relationship. It puts a block on me if you will. I mostly question about past events and he will answer over and over the same thing. Some things will he will change but in general it comes to the same ending. He swears he is honest and he has never given me a reason to believe he was deceiving me. I just have an issue with believing it's the truth. I feel like I will never know but he should still tell me the truth. He always says that he has nothing to hide from me. What is wrong that I keep reliving things that happened in the past and why can't I let them go? Has anyone else been in this situation?

I honestly feel like it has gotten to the point where it is effecting my relationship and my life in a negative way. How do I put this to a halt?

Answer 1

I was in a relationship for over 10 years and never completely trusted him.  I hated myself for all my doubts and jealousy but nobody or nothing could help me change.

Eventually I found out things about him that proved I was right to have doubts etc,.

I am so sorry that I have to tell you this and I sincerely hope that you will be happy but please ask yourself why you are like this over him.  Do you feel the same way over other people or is it only about him?

Answer 2

Sounds like you have some serious emotional issues if you think that people are lying to you when you have no reason to think so.

Get counseling.

Answer 3

It's you Sher...do not jeopardize an 8-year relationship because of your insecurity.  That's why they call it The Past, it's over, gone, finished.  

If you continue on this course you will surely chase him away; it can be annoying.  All that matters in the present, and remember that the present is a gift, so don't throw it away.

Let me give you one more thing that may help you...Imagine if you found out today (God forbid) that your bf was told he had three days to live...

treat him as though he may die tomorrow.  I was in your situation years ago and my friend Did die (in a traffic accident) before I had a chance to say some important things I was feeling.  

Live for today, tomorrow and the future, get your mind out of the past.  Onward & Upward!