Why do I feel bad for ending things with a married man?

Question

We had a relationship for 3 years while he was legally separated from his wife. It was rough and he was always begging her to take him back. He felt guilty about our relationship, so we rarely did things as a couple.

He finally moved home last month and we tried to maintain contact and continued to see each other. The last time he came over he gave me money to help pay for some car repairs. It made me feel bad and I snapped. I told him that it's time for me to learn to fend for myself. I said that if he's happy at home and that's where he wants to be, then great. Be home but this has to stop between us. I realized how sneaky he was being by coming over at lunch time, so his wife would never suspect a thing. It just made me sick. It was okay when they were separated, but I'm not cut out to be a real mistress!

I don't understand why he tries to help out financially. And I don't know why he's trying to keep me in his life. He tried to get his wife back for 3 years, so why would he s***w that up by being with me?

Answer 1

Stop trying to analyze it. Ignore his calls and move on with your life.

Answer 2

Sounds like this pig wants his cake and wants to eat it too.  You have to realize that you are better than that.  Your right for feeling disgusted and you need to get out of that relationship.  What does that show about his character when he got what he wanted which was his wife back but he's still trying to see you.  The reason you didn't do much as a couple is because he was lying to his wife then too.  He didn't want her to think he was serious about anyone else because it would have hurt his chance to get back w/her.  Good luck to you and I hope you find YOUR Mr. right and tell that creep to drop dead.

Answer 3

you did the right thing by leaving him. so you shouldn;t feel bad. he just wants you on the side as a fall back plan. or a mistress. no decent girl with dignity and self-esteem wud let a guy do that. even if that guy is bradpitt (hehe sorry angelina:P)

bottom line is, you need to change your numbers. stop talking to this guy. if he doesn't stop bothering you, tell him u'll call his wife and tell her. if he's not happy with his wife, ask him to get a divorce first and then contact you.  

Answer 4

I THINK YOU ARE LYING. YOU MIGHT NOT BE FEELING BAD, YOU MIGHT HAVE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE, POSSIBLY A BETTER OPTION. GIRLS START COMPARING WHEN THEY FIND OR INTERACT WITH AN OPTION. AND THEN THEY GET MAD. BUT BEING VERY CUNNING AND CLEVER, THEY PORTRAY THEMSELVES AS SO SWEET, GUD AND CARING. AND LIES FOLLOW. FEELING BAD !!!! THAT TOO A GIRL!!! FAKE, THE BIGGEST LIE EVER !!!

Answer 5

You took part in violating his marriage. who are you to act like a word I can't say?  Get your brain checked

Answer 6

W ell first he's an idiot

H e doesnt care about you,

O nly thing he cares about is the s*x

R uining peoples life, the

E ffects are endless, he's even ruining your life. GET OUT

Answer 7

i think u need to back off.  live alone leave him things will b pretty hard in starting but not impossible.  i donno m telling u this but actually i also need to do smthng of this sort but just cudn't. u need to separate urself from him.  he is helping u financially so that he can have u on his side cos he is helping u.  this bugger needs to decide where he wants to b.  he is being with u n wife he is enjoyng on both the sides.

u just leave him that will b better.i know it sucks when he talks bot that he needs to go home to his wife.  but u cant do anythng she is her wife.  so get apart and let the life move on

Answer 8

He wants it this way because he loves her and he looks toward you as somehting exciting....This way he can have his cake and eat it too. He wants to help you out financially because this is his way of keeping a hold on you. Please kick him to the curb and find someone that will treat you like the special person I know you are.  

Answer 9

Time to move on without him. Find a guy who isn't married.

Answer 10

get someone Else

Answer 11

men are b*******

they like to hve their cake and eat it too. he is like a wild animal who has tasted blood. he has got to have his daily fix. especially when it is so easily available.

he offers you money to get rid of his guilty concious. am sure he must be wooing his wife too in a similar manner.he thinks he can buy any thing , even love.

are you up for sale???????????

given a choice between his wife and you, be assured he will dump you.this man has been unfaithful to his lawfully wedded wife. how can you xpect him to be faithful to you? who are you? just another woman who provides him with his daily fix. just another woman who can be easily replaced.

am xtremely sorry for being so blunt.  but thats what such men are all

about. the sooner you realise that , the better for you.

life is too precious to waste on someone so unworthy of your love. move on. dump him before he dumps you.