Why do I feel bad when it was the right thing?

Question

I am very close to my in-laws and my husband. I have no other friends, but trying to reconnect with other people. It takes time I suppose.

My former best friend was a fair weathered friend. We got along and had so much in common. She always paid back when she borrowed small amount of money. She would attend events when I provided transportation.

She never helped with Gas money and wouldn't hang out with me when I didn't offer transportation. She owes me a large amount of money and has not paid back.

I had helped her when ever I could after she exhausted her resources. She never helped me out when she says she is going to. She is still living at home, has no license or car and is in her mid-twenties. It’s like she is waiting for a man to marry her and to take care of her.

I am very independent and cut her off because I felt used and this had been going on for years. We tried to compromise and fix our problems, but they always came back later on.

Even though it was the best thing for me to end the relationship, I feel bad. Why do I feel abandoned, especially when I ended the relationship? I wish I had more friends…

Answer 1

You shouldn't feel bad.  Ending the relationship was the best thing to do.  You miss having your friend around, but you know she was only using you, not a real friend.  

Answer 2

You were enabling her by giving in to her.  It's the best for both you (not to be used) and for her (to learn to take care of herself and be independent).  It's natural to feel bad as you were once friends and have shared a lot of good memories.  But if you know it was for the better, then that's all you can really do about it.  

There's no point in wishing your life away. The best way to meet people is to get out there - friends don't come knocking at your door. Join some clubs, or go do stuff you like that involves other people with the same interests as you.  It's a lot easy to make friends with people you have things in common with.