Why do I feel guilty for letting my daughter get her ears pierced?

Question

My daughter got her ears pierced yesterday, and she had a pretty bad experience with it. Actually getting the holes put in wasn't too bad, but one of her ears went reddish purple shortly afterwards, swelled up a little, and became very uncomfortable (although it is almost back to normal now).

She had real trouble with them last night (she can only go to sleep on her side, normally) and when the pillow touched one of her ears it woke her. I made her a "doughnut" to put her head on, which worked fine until she turned over in her sleep - then back to square one.

I feel terrible about it, I feel it is my fault for taking her to get them done, I should have followed by gut instinct and told her to wait until she was older, while at the same time the 'sensible' part of my head says I didn't "force it on her". She pushed the issue, She wanted the earrings, all I did was to let her make her own decision - and despite the pain, she still thinks it was worth it.

Answer 1

She asked, you said yes. No guilt should be involved. If she thinks it was worth it why are you upset?

Answer 2

My daughter is nearly 5 and asked tonight to get her ears pierced, I said no, not until she is probably about 8. Because she is very pretty as she is and infections are normal in the start. She accepts this. They rough and tumble a lot until about 8 so ear damage and infections are to be expected.

Answer 3

dont feel guilty. her choice, her fault. its just another life lesson. natural consequences I suppose

Answer 4

The age of your daughter is an important clue as to how we should answer.

Answer 5

You decided your daughter was old enough to make the decision, so why would you feel the slightest bit guilty about it? It was her decision, right?

Or perhaps you're now realising that maybe your seven year old WASN'T old enough to make such a decision. In which case you're a day too late.

Seriously, next time you need to think of the consequences first, not base your decision on how much you're being nagged. She's seven years old. You should not be letting her make her own decisions just because she wants to, you should be making sure her decisions are sensible ones that you support BEFORE things go badly. Sometimes it's your job to say No.

Answer 6

Don't feel guilty for letting her get her  ears pierced ! she thinks it is worth it so why worry !

Answer 7

If she was young I could understand your guilty feeling though if she was, say, 12 or older she is a big girl and could make the decision herself. I would never put my young child in that situation. I got mine done the first time when I was 11 and I wouldn't let my mom clean them (silly me) and they got infected. I got them redone at 13 and they worked because I was old enough.

Answer 8

Well, the first few days are hard for some kids. My daugher said that her earrings felt great! I guess, go back to the person wh pierced her ears for advice. You may need some rubbing alcohol for it. It may be infected...

Answer 9

I had my daughter's ears pierced when she was 5 months old I felt the longer she/we waited it would have been that much harder for her so we just got it over with.

But your daughter is a very big girl for doing this she wanted it and now she has them, just tell her that her new piercing is going to take some time to heal her ear lobe has a booboo on it and it needs time to heal it is like getting a booboo on your knee (maybe not exactly but they both heal). Just make sure you do use that antiseptic that comes with the piercing or use listerine keep them clean as often as possible the one with the booboo might get crusty but that is part of the healing process just keep doing it before you know she will be fine and asking for another new pair of earrings...lol

Answer 10

You shouldn't feel guilty.  She made the decision.  This could be a great life lesson about consequences if you choose to use it!!

Answer 11

How old is your daughter? ???