Question:

Why do I feel like I am alone in planning my wedding?

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A Wedding is supposed to be a time of happiness and celebration, but I feel that it is the opposite! Family is not coming through like I had expected and friends are indifferent. Am I just being overly sensitive or let down because of certain expectations? Is anyone out there having a similar problem?

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  1. I really like Lori M's response... I think its a time of self restraint and I am going to handle it like so for myself....

    Fiance, talk to about type of day, and location, finances.

    Mum, talk to about dress and bouquet.

    Sister, talk to about party when we come back (going abroad just the two of us, then having a bash when we come back)

    Friends, talk to about ideas to make our day and party unique to us to, for example if we were cowboys having a cowboys theme... Unfortunately we aren't quite so obvious in finding a unique theme.


  2. Sounds like something is up.  Are they unhappy about this marriage?  How old are you?  How far away is the wedding?  Ask your family why they are not excited nor helping you?  You're not very explicit in your question.

  3. You may be having big expectations. Weddings are a very personal thing. The only people who should be greatly involved should be you (mainly) and your fiance. Your mother could be excited but since I don't know the circumstances it's hard to answer. When I planned my wedding most people didn't know until I sent out the invitations. A lot of people did not RSVP and that's OK. Your wedding will be a very special day but think more of the challenges that you'll have as a newly married person. Marriage takes a lot of work and commitment, and a lot of people around you know that, so hope you have a beautiful wedding, a great honeymoon, and a happy and healthy marriage!!

  4. I am with you on this one! My friends are all very busy people and most of them don't give two hoots about my wedding. Of my bridesmaids, two have new babies and full time work or school, one is a full time student (with a controlling boyfriend who hates me) and two are out of state. The one who cared and was so helpful found out she has a brain tumor and had to back out! My groom is a huge procrastinator and that made me feel like he didn't care either... I got very stressed out and told my groom that I was going to call the wedding off completely before he started doing anything. Everyone keeps telling me it's too early to be planning but the books all say that I should have already had stuff done (8 months till the wedding). I don't know what to say except relax, tell your friends and groom how you are feeling. I had to take a few days off when I realized thatI was being bridezilla.

    Good Luck

  5. I know how you feel.  I sometimes feel like my best friend is being completely indifferent when I talk about things with her.  Eventually she was talking to me about not caring too much about all the wedding planning that one of her other friends is doing, and it just hit me...  I just came out and said "oh that explains why you don't seem to care about my wedding plans.  It's not that you don't care about me, you just aren't into hearing about everything."  She tried to play it off like she wasn't talking about me at all, but I insisted that it's ok and I understand.  She finally admitted that I was right.  I just keep telling myself that I am the one getting married and that is why I am so excited about it.  I can't expect everyone else to be nearly as excited about it as I am.

    I'm not counting on anyone to put in physical labor for my wedding - I would just like a little emotional support, and sometimes I feel like I'm not getting it.  It also helps to have people to bounce ideas around with.  I just had to evaluate some relationships to figure out who cares to listen and who doesn't.  I'm not offended if they don't care to hear.  I don't have kids, so I probably wouldn't want to hear someone talking about what their kid does all day.  I just put it into that kind of perspective, and I feel better.

  6. thats a genreal thing that seems to be happening to brides.  the fiance isnt into it, mom and dad are busy, friends have other things to do.

    I am actually doing it all on my own, since I"m a planner no one thinks I need the help.  I still want opinions and someoen to go shopping with!

    If you want help, ask!  Because it sounds like no one will offer!

  7. Of course I don't know much about your situation, but it sounds like people have been a bit put off.

    It's possible that you pushed them away without knowing it.  They may have been trying to help when you didn't need it, and not that you do, they've already given up.

    It's time to humble yourself a bit.  Instead of just starting conversations with: "Hey!  Check out these colors!", try: "I need some advice."

    Most people will say, "Sure!", because they like feeling needed and they like to know that what they think is important to you.  Then go ahead with the: "These were the colors I was thinking of for the wedding.  What do you think?"

    Your friends and family probably have plenty of opinions and giving them an opportunity to voice them will get them involved in planning.  Once someone starts telling you what they think you should do, then are also hooked into telling you how to do it.

    On the other hand, if they love the colors, move right on to something else.  "And what do you think about this location?  The pros are __________ and the cons are ___________."

    If open ended questions don't work, try multiple choice.  Force them to have an opinion.

    Don't get offended if they're pushy.  Just take it in stride.  While I was planning my wedding I joked with my mom that my mother in law's favorite word's were "What you need to do is..."  

    If that doesn't work then you probably need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your mom and MOH.  Bear your heart and tell them that you really need some help.  They are the two people that need to be there for you.

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