Why do I feel like a loser?

Question

am an asian living in an asia, currently studying in 11th grade.

I am average looking and short. I seem to inherit the worst genes from my parents- asthma, square face etc. My mum is prettier, more curvy and taller( including my dad) than me. Furthermore, I am the shortest in my entire family clan (maternal and paternal).

I am not really smart either, my dad always criticises me for lacking common sense and sometimes, I doubt I even have a brain. My lack of intelligence is also reflected by my grades- a string of E because I can't seem to focus in class.

I don't have an aim in my life...it's like there's no motivation to drive me anywhere. All I know is that I like fashion and I want to work in an MNC so that left me with the choice of a business course. Initially, I wanted to be a journalist or lawyer but my aunt told me that I won't be able to enter such courses due to my poor command of english. However, I can string coherent sentences, it's just that I have difficulty in expressing ideas, always talking in a roundabout way, be it written or verbal.

I am in the school's dance club but I am not one of the star performers. It's like I am a plain jane- no talents whatsoever.

Lastly, since I had switched to a new school, I can't seem to adapt to my new circle of friends because I have difficulty relating to them. All they do the entire day is gossip or talk about boyfriends( I don't have one btw bcoz I have yet to find someone that I am passionate abt) or fantasize their fairytale marriages. I would rather sit in a corner and read my storybooks. However, I try my best to be with them by partaking in their frivolous conversations.

I want to apply to US colleges but my aunt thinks I am too lousy for it because of my school grades. I am trying my best to work hard for it but it's tiring. Studying in asia is different from studying in the US! I have no time at all and the syllabus is much tougher. Even though I am in highschool, I am studying US college algrebra and chemistry. For english, I have to write essays on issues such as human rights, crime and punishment, and various world issues. Although I am chinese, I can't score well in mandarin because I speak cantonese at home( that's what I think). The sounds are different and the words are difficult. However, my parents seem to think that since I am a cantonese, mandarin would be easy for me.

I don't know what to do with my life! I prayed to God and sometimes, I ask him why did he create me this way? why did he give others brains and not me? I wish I am motivated like michael phelps.

Answer 1

I assume you have a roof over your head and a belly full of food.

You're luckier than 70% of human beings on this earth.

Next time you pray, thank god that you aren't freezing to death and starving.

Answer 2

Its all in your head, You can do whatever you believe.

Never give up, there is always bad critiscicsm out there, its how you deal with it that makes you who you are.

I believe in you.

Answer 3

You are still finding yourself! Everyone goes through n awkward phase but it will pass.

Continue to pray.... God hears all and he will answer you at the perfect time.

Answer 4

becouse their is osmething  bothering you

Answer 5

First of all please stop talking like this and being so hard on yourself.  Why are you allowing others to dictate how you feel about yourself.  Instead of focusing on what you think are your negative points try to focus on what you excel in. I think you maybe a little depressed and maybe you should seek the help of a doctor.  Don't listen to your Aunt. I'm sure your grades are fine to apply to a school here in the U.S. Follow your dreams and don't ever let anybody tell you what you can and can not do. You are in charge of your destiny.  Please try and pull yourself out of this whole.  I wish you all the best.  

Answer 6

It sounds as if you have no self esteem, Just stay postive and try your best. ..you sound alot like me.

Answer 7

Simply put...you are too hard on yourself. Unfortunately, it sounds like you dont have a real good support system. This means that you have to create your own. You are smart in your own way. You have plenty of time to achieve your destiny. Keep praying...but thank him for who he made you. You are you for a reason, one day you will discover that reason.

Answer 8

YOUR DOiNG THE RiGHT THiNG PRAY T0 G0D & HE SHALL ANSWER ALL ?'S Y0U MAY HAVE F0R HiM EVERYTHiNG HAPPENS F0R A REASON AND i PROMiSE iTS N0T AS BAD AS Y0U MiGHT THiNK L0L

Answer 9

i think the fact that your family treats you the way that they do holds you back most of all.

im the shortest in my family as well, but there are a lot of men that like short women.

i live in the us, born and raised. and i promise you there are so many american men that love asian women.

just focus on getting over here to the USA if thats what you want and who cares what people have to say to you.

if you think you would be happier here then come here.

i live in san diego california, its laid back you can go to the beach every day or down town if youre into that more. there is a lot here for plenty of different types of people.

i hope you feel better.  

Answer 10

america **** yea