Question:

Why do I feel like the ugliest ever?

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I am 35 years old. I look about 25. I have green eyes, which is the only feature I like about myself. I am 5’5” and about 150 pounds. I had been skinny all my life but over the past 3 years a few people say I look a little healthier, or I have gained some wait - looks good. I still see this skinny person. Doesn’t help that I’m short and look young. I have gone all my life feeling ugly and have no idea how to lift that esteem. I tell myself sometimes that I’m not because I have been in relationships before with very attractive women, but they never last. My teeth are the worst, and if I had anything I could change about me it would be that. Since they are bad…and I mean bad. I do not smile at all except maybe a closed mouth grin. I hate pictures of me. There is no one on earth who has a picture of me and if they do, it isn’t on their wall. My own parents didn’t even want me. I haven’t seen them since 1990 when I was 17. I ask friends if I am horrible to look at, and all of them say no, some say I’m “cute”. I hate that word, and I truly believe they just say that so as not to hurt me. I feel like I will torture myself with this question all my life and have no defining answer. I know you could say “why let it bother you? Stop!” But when you have done this all your life, it isn’t that easy. Being ugly won’t just stop you from having relationships; it can stop you moving forward in your career as well. It keeps me depressed and screws with many avenues of my life. It makes me mad at God. I drive a really nice sports car, and some people will pull up fast to see who is driving it, only to back off when they see me. You can call me vain, but it is a trait the world has taught me through their own vainness. The only girls who think I’m worth smiling at, or crushing on I guess are way too young. I am tired of little teeny boppers thinking I’m cute because from my appearance, I look young, but no one my age even pays attention. I know, there are probably no answers to my questions that will ever resolve what is in me, I know this it is an inside job. But I post anyway just in case there is some miracle answer out there as to why I feel this way, and why I let it bother me, dictating everything I do in life.

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4 ANSWERS


  1. It's no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend. You are so needy and complaining. What girl will want to listen to you run yourself down looking for her to compliment you. Get those teeth fixed and your self esteem will rise. You can also do the following:

    1) Don't even try to date until you fix your self esteem.

    2) Volunteer somewhere

    3) Get another job and put all that money into an account to fix your teeth.

    4) Read a book on building self-esteem

    5) Don't even think about those teens unless you want to find yourself in jail. They are what's called "jail bait."

    6) No one your age pays attention to you because my guess is you don't have a career and not much of a future. Work on that.

    7) Smile and be nice.


  2. Wow dude im 15 and feel somewhat the same way but its all good prolly just our minds  

  3. Alex, you are not ugly.

    Julie, he said nothing about dating teens, in fact he said “I’m tired of them thinking I’m cute”. He said nothing about not having a good career, just about getting ahead; obviously he has a nice sports car, so I doubt he is hurting financially.

    Dogma, He can’t very well focus on family when he has none to focus on.

    I think people’s problems today is they don’t pay attention enough, as the 2 examples above. (Julie and Dogma) But I don’t think you have been paying much attention either. Though I have sited their mistakes, they also make good points. PAY attention to others. Do for others, get out of yourself and volunteer somewhere. I have no doubt, being abandoned from your parents, has caused you much depression and has encouraged this idea you have. You probably feel like 35 years old is too old, too late. Fact is, it isn’t. Start now, and defocus off you and think of others. If someone pays you a compliment, say “thank you”. Don’t analyze it; don’t think anything except that it was positive, about you. Focus on that. You will see after a time of staying in the positive it will bring positive. Stay in the negative, and this is where you will stay with negative results.

  4. Stop focusing so much on how you look and think about other people. If you only think about how bad you think you look then it will consume you. You gotta  be able to keep living life no matter how things may appear. You can't let bad teeth keep you from smiling!  Focus on your friends and family, live life like you see people you consider beautiful living it. The happier you feel the happier you look, and no matter how you look- people want to be around you. sulking is not going to get you anything! so get off your tush and do something productive that makes you feel involved with life. There are to many people who spend there time worrying about looks, and not enough out in the world trying to make it a better place. seriously would you want to date someone who was consumed with hatred of their own face?? They probably are scared you think they are ugly too. Don't you want to hang around a person who loves life and lives things fully? Think outside the box  

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