Why do I feel so bad - I had a bit of a tiff with my mom last night. I wasn't rude. ?

Question

I just told her how she hurts my feelings when she does certain things (like something she did last night) but now I'm feeling sooooo bad. I have forgiven her but I know she's still upset. Please say something to make me feel better.

Answer 1

it's OK. sometimes I have the same problem. u didn't mean to hurt her feelings and she deserved to know the truth. u did the right thing.  

Answer 2

My rule of thumb in situations like this is - you don't do or say things that you will feel sorry for later - humans have choices - and humans have to choose such choices wisely even when it comes to the words that come out of their mouths.  You are obviously not a bad kid but just experienced a moment out of the box, now go back in the box and give your Mom the biggest hug ever.   God Bless.

Answer 3

I don't know your age, so I assume this is from a teenager and my answer is written based on this assumption.  I said this because at different age your interaction with parents will differ.

Number 1. Feelings are feelings.  There is no right or wrong with them.  Your mother should be able to accept how you feel about what she did.  Everyone should be allowed to own his/her feelings.

Number 2. The right action to causing a negative feeling(she made you feel bad by doing something) is to apologize.  She may have a decent or loving intention, but it did cause you negative feelings.  It is mature for her to apologize.

3.  How did you sound last night? Did you sound accusing?  Saying "you embarrassed me when you said..." is different from saying " I feel embarrassed when you said...". The first statement is accusative.  The second is simply expressing your feeling.  Did you jump to conclusion about her intention? If so, that will surely upset her.

4.  If your mother is the authoritarian type-meaning "Mom is always right", you need to learn to negotiate and communicate with her to create a healthier relationship.  This will help you mature a lot.  Meanwhile, always show love and respect to her.

Answer 4

Some people are just non-confrontational. I feel bad when stuff like that happens too, even if I'm fully justified saying what I say.

Answer 5

maybe your tone of voice was very rude and thats why you're feeling guilty now. in any case, its ok that you've vent your feelings. now just be quiet for a day or two and then approach your mom and tell her you love you. its normal though. i've had a million fights with my mom and dad. in the end, you still love each other. and after a few days when you'll both get over the anger and hurt, then everything will get back to normal :)