Why do I feel very lonely? Why am I not social? Help! I do not want to be like this.?

Question

Hi there,

I'm a young boy, 20 yrs old. I've had depressing incidences in my life. I never had constant friends around me. Because of my father, I had to jump from grade 2 to 4 and then again from grade 6 to 8. This brought change in my life in a very strange manner that became very depressing. And so, I had seniors around me who never came to be friends with me. They're all bully-ed type! Even during my high school yrs where I tried to prove myself as a best student, I was always repressed by my friends. I am not that ignorant and not arrogant either. I just feel very uncomfortable with people now-a-days. Just have a feeling of a lonely life ahead. Now, when it's about time to think about my career, I've having intensive depressive-stands. I want to get rid from it.

Why am I not social?

Why do I not want be along-with friends?

Why do I feel very lonely?

How do I get rid of all these things?

Please Help! I need great suggestions. I'm 20 yrs old, sophomore college student.

Answer 1

Just by asking this question here you are reaching out and that is the first step. If you said you were happy without others I would tell you that is OK. But you are not. Start with small steps. Talk to people a little bit when you get a cup of coffee. Compliment people sincerely. Observe others. You already have one year of school under your belt, that is a good thing. You could be a helpful friend to someone who is there for the first time.  Maybe this year you can make yourself a goal to talk to someone every. Sometimes it will not be a great experience, but talking a bit helps. It may open a door to friendship. Look people in the eye. All the negative stuff is in the past and maybe you can think about it and learn something that is useful to you right now. I think the hardest thing about depression when you are young is that you don't have the experience of getting through it. You can learn to comfort yourself with positive thoughts.Look around you and find positive things.

If you think you have  a very serious problem, try getting some counseling, that can sometimes help. Eat well, walk a lot and do things that you enjoy doing, you may meet others who like some of the same things that you do. One or two good friends can make a big improvement in your life.

Try to be a good friend to yourself, that is the best place to start.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Interesting life story...I can suggest you get out more often. INVOLVE yourself with many activities to keep yourself busy with others. Find something you like and join a group. Find something you are good at and excel at it. Basically get out more, occupy yourself with others, make friends who really like for for yourself and don't take bullsh*t from ppl who bully. Unless its a really extreme "emo" case, you'll be fine

Answer 3

You are not social because you are scared to be. You are scared that people will judge you. You aren't bold enough to go out and talk to people and make new friends. Don't be afraid to give people a chance. You never know...a simple "hello" could be the start of a great friendship! Forget about your past. You are like everybody else. Everybody has some sort of problem. Don't let people judge you on that. Just be yourself and the more outgoing you are, the more people will like you. Go out to an amusement park, or Howie's game shack or the beach or something and don't be afraid to talk to people. There are a lot of people out there that really like you or will like you for who you truly are. Don't be uncomfortable around people, they are just like you.

Good luck, be yourself & believe in yourself...there are people out there who love you!

Answer 4

You suffer from depression. See a physician for treatment and seek counseling. A better life is ahead!

Answer 5

remember a lonely life is chosen by you not chosen for you ..it does not have to be this way .. you need proper guidance and help i wish i could offer you that but i can't ..however if you just need a good listener someone to talk things through with ..you can send me a message ..i will listen..

Answer 6

Look, deep down, you can find the answer to everything. When you are in class with other kids, kind of listen in to a friend's conversation. Take tips from that (not the exact conversation, but realize peoples motives and conversation starts deff). Look at yourself and determine the kind of person you are (It's pretty hard though, I still fail to see who I am). Maybe your determination to be #1 student got in the way of friendships. I mean, being the best student is not the worst thing, but the way you are might be. If you are a teachers-suck@ss, then yes, that isn't the way. If you brag about it, that is a no. But don't stop doing the best in school. H*ll, become this great scientist you want to be, because (sadly) friends come with money and/or power and recognition.

Be good and good will happen to you. Don't lose faith in karma, bro. Best of luck.

Answer 7

You're probably not very social because of all the changes you had when you were younger. Also, when you think about being around people, you think about the times that you've been bullied. Remember..events in life shape who you'll become. That's probably why you're not very social right now. You can change that though..it might take a bit of work and you need to learn to break out of your shell and be yourself. Try to meet people that have the same interests as you and befriend them. Let go of your barriers and show people your true colors. Good luck!