Why do I find myself feelin so lonely when im not alone?I live with my b/f & we love each other very much but?

Question

Im attractive & have always been confident,till now Why do I insist on getn his attention? I kno he loves me but hes not the expressive type until he sees Im so frustrated and in tears due to his cold shoulder. Im very affectionate &loving so I express my feelings of love to him in everyway because its in my heart.I love hugging him,sweet talkn,kissing &carressing him massaging him, lil love notes etc,but he keeps to himself &hardly pays attention to me not even when i know i look awesome &when i dress sexxxy for him at night, I can see it in his eyes but wish i could hear him say it. And until my resentment makes me so mad I want to give up on us that he comes through for me with flying colors,whats wrong with this picture? whos selfish? he says i am & i say he is YOU GUYS BE THE JUDGE..we will read answers together...Plz take time to answer I really appreciate it Thanks in Advance ...Irma

Answer 1

I'm in a similar situation. I know that my boyfriend loves me but he just doesn't show me affection like I would like him to. He doesn't understand when I get upset because I just want to spend some time together being affectionate towards each other. I often put in effort to be attractive for him, but he doesn't notice it. It's not a problem with our relationship, we're happy every other way I just wish he'd like to be more affectionate and romantic. I've talked to him about it and sometimes he makes a bit more effort, but it just doesn't come naturally.  

Answer 2

Irma, all people are selfish - it is in our nature.  You have to be "selfish" to stay alive.

Now to the problem.  You two are different in how you express your feelings.  It may have to do with how you were raised, it may be part of your innate personality, who knows.  The point is that you are just different - period.  I is NOT your job to change your boyfriend, just as it is NOT his job to change you.  That is not what relationships are about.

What you have to decide is whether your differences are acceptable.  Are the rewards of being together greater than the annoyances of being together?  Do the "relationship math" and move from there.

Whatever you do, get it out of your head that either of you is right/wrong - and definitely get it out of your head that you are going to change him.  Best of luck!

Answer 3

Well if you guys part for awhile and don't see each other at all for say three months you will miss each other badly, You know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Also as a woman play more hard to get that makes the man try harder don't seem so needy that believe it or not is a real turn off.

Men like to see confidence It's not always just being s**y it is being confident about it flirt with other guys that will drive him crazy and make him want you all the more a man can't stand the fact that another man could be attracted to his woman and might sweep her off her feet and take you away.

And as for a man you have to try to bring back the romantic feeling that attracted you to her in the first place and you know what I mean when at first you felt like how you needed her to be next to you all the time and missed her before she ever even left the way she smelled the way she looked the way she wore her hair every single thing that used to make you spend your last few dollars to buy her flowers or take her to lunch even though you were going to go without lunch for a few days because you loved her that much.

Now you said you are going to read these together so I really don't recommend flirting as for the woman because it could actually have the opposite effect but the confident part will not, The part where I said to be with out each other for awhile is a definite true statement because abscence really does make the heart grow fonder this will work more for his purpose then it will hers he is the one that needs to find the romantic feeling towards her again and now this could also be dangerous do you trust him enough to not cheat on you and if you do does he trust himself to not cheat on you if you both feel confident about this then you should be with out each other for awhile.

He will get to where he wants you so bad and misses you so bad that all the feelings of his old romantic self will start coming back.

As for you well you will need to pick up a hobby to occupy your time and your mind untill he returns and then when he does return you need to play hard to get make him work to try to get your attention and affection and it really doesn't have to be three months a couple of weeks should do the trick if you both feel that this is not the answer Try to do the confident not so needy hard to get on her part,  And the what would it be like with out her on his part the way she smells the way she looks the way she wears her hair the finding the romantic side that seems to have gone dormant for him, And needs to be found again.

I hope that I have truely been helpful I hate to see when two people who love each other so much drift apart because they are having trouble recapturing what was once there and still is but are just having trouble with the small things that caused it.

Good luck and best wishes to you two.      

Answer 4

Takes two to tango.Dude unless you start stepping up and showing her some love she's gonna find some one else it doesn't take much flowers for no reason a kiss just because she's .so kissable and manners open the door for her,pull out her chair to let her sit down.And dress up for her.cook for her.And to the both of you turn off all electronics and talk to each other it's old fashioned but it works,in fact set aside 1 hr every day to talk to each other nothing else no reading just talking

Answer 5

wow .. i think i am married to your boyfriend ... LOL ..

i have been with my husband for 12 years now .. and he is like that, i personally got over it like 6 years ago now when i fell pregnant with our first child ...

i do realise now that he loves me deeply but he is just him and can't explain it any further and i now accept this ... he will tell me like two weeks later .. "when we went to dinner the other night you looked HOT" ... he is just a little slow .. ha ha .. no not really ... he just doesn't express his feelings like i do, but his parents don't ....THANK GOD for that! lol

but honestly i do tell ask him silly questions at times to dig deeper in his mind and that is just natural for a women.

Men are a closed book .. well in my case YES

Answer 6

Irma, you'll have to understand thats the way GUYS  are.. We are such simple beings and so easy to understand... Complimenting and gossiping are done by girls and that a universal truth.  You cant expect ur guy to do that (thats verrrrrrry rarely done by guys) .. No point in whining about that.. Be happy that he is turned on by you and loves you.

Answer 7

....Assignment for U.....................

be faithful /truthful to your self &

"find out the direction ot your mind's attention when U're with your b/f"

(there must be something at the other end of the tunnel, that's there but not yet visible....& subconciously active)