Why do I get so worked up over people clinging on to gender roles?

Question

Any time I hear someone say that women are good at cooking and cleaning, my chest starts aching and I feel very angry. Commercials with women doing the cleaning and serving the food make me feel like punching the TV. None of my friends are like this; they all want to have children and take care of their houses in the future, but not me. I want to have my own life. Why am I so worked up over feminist issues, but most people aren't?

Answer 1

Exactly! It seems men can be managers, artists, engineers or firefighters...or whatever else they choose, but all women are naturally suited for nurturing and housekeeping.

Don't worry, the ranks are growing that will put this nonsense to bed.

Answer 2

Why shouldn't it be a choice? I get annoyed when people act like I shouldn't WANT to take care of my family. If it's what I want, isn't that what they were fighting for? The right to DECIDE what I want to do with MY life?

If you want a career, you should be able to have one without being stigmatized for it. If I want to raise kids, then I should have the same respect.

Anything else is an injustice.

Answer 3

because your obviously a strong, kick *** woman. Other women who also may have a strong will may want to cook and clean. As women you have the right to choose if you want to be your own woman or a housewife. Men we have the same option we've always had. Work or Starve. Maybe one day it will be okay for a man to stay home and have his woman's drink and slippers ready when she gets home for work.

Answer 4

LOL!    "HUG"

Plenty of women like that around here.

As to why...shrug who knows you are your own person... and have your own reasons.

Answer 5

I get pretty ticked off when I hear guys say that "my" job is doing the dishes or cooking and cleaning.  My brother said that to me once and never again because he was living in my house under my hospitality.  Guess how many times he did the dishes?  (I wouldn't let him near a stove or oven).  

I know that there are a LOT of guys who are raised believing this nonsense.  My first husband many years ago didn't know how to vacuum or do laundry and his mother got furious with me because he was doing it when she came over one time.  Whatever lady!!!  She was psycho.  Anyway, there are traditional moms who like their "role" and expect that their sons with find a nice girl just like her.   I on the other hand think that this kind of thinking is crippling to a guy.  Everyone should be expected to do their part and especially know how to take care of themselves.  

I love my hubby.  He does the cooking, the cleaning and everything and does not believe for a minute that this is women's work.  On the other hand, he expects me to help out in the yard, take out the trash, etc.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

As far as getting angry about stereotypical roles on tv, that doesn't really bother me.  They are just trying to sell to a certain person and trust me, there are plenty of women who don't mind at all.  I have seen a great deal of change in many places and especially tv where they are trying to get away from stereotypes.  It's just a slow and conflicting process but I do think women's lib has come a long way.

Answer 6

Your so worked up because alot of guys take that for granted but I don't. I say females can be whatever they want to be its a 50/50 relationship. I do like a woman that can do that and still accomplish her goals. I do have ways to show my appreciation.

Answer 7

I think you have some displaced anger issues and need a little Prozac. 20mg a day ought to do it.

Answer 8

I feel the same way too. I am not going to be a stay at home mom and a house wife. I want to make my own money that is why I am going to a university. People should stop clinging to gender role this is not the 70s. Some women are the head of their house hold now and we have some very strong and powerfull women today.

Answer 9

You haven't learned to block out exterior messages. Just hold your head high and ignore them. If necessary, find some friends who feel the same way you do.

Answer 10

I feel the same way as you, don't let it get to you just ignore people who say "women belong in the kitchen", there still stuck in the past.

There's nothing wrong with "gender roles" but not all people fit into them.

Just live your life the way you want to, and forget what others think.

Answer 11

I dunno.

Answer 12

Welcome to GWS! You'll do just fine here.

We are a finely tuned band of enlightened fighting women and men who fend off the clumsy and rather smelly advances of misogynist trolls well into the night. An extra pair of hands to wield a fly swatter is always welcome.

In all seriousness, stick around. You've come to the right place.

Answer 13

We choose what makes us comfortable and cling to that.  I hope we can look forward to seeing your questions and answers.  As for those peabrains who insist you're out of step with the world, I offer you this quote from GB Shaw to think about:

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world.  The unreasonable man expects the world to adapt itself to him.  Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

Be proud of the fact that you're an unreasonable woman.

Answer 14

You are what you are. The world is what it is. You can't change the ways of the world... Sorry to say that, but its a fact.

Answer 15

Wow righteous anger. Gee I wonder if the same anger is there regarding the Honor Killings of Moslem Girls and women in the US? That Feminists have been utterly silent about. There is a word for that Cowardice. There has been an attempted honor Killing as well. Polygamy is openly being practiced in the US by Moslems at least 100,000 as has been published on NPR. Also conveniently ignored.

As to Gender Roles, the Second Wave Feminists sold Men on the idea of flexible Roles during the 1960s and 1970s all Bull ****. Feminism today is about demeaning and demonizing Men. Of denying our humanity, and of getting government to enforce the Wishes of Men over our Freedoms and Natural Rights.

Men don't care what you choose. You are free to choose your roles. Cooking is something I do primarily in our household. I am the primary cook and have been cooking for more than 4 decades. I clean our Condo and am particular about it. I learned to clean from my Uncle a Gunnery Sgt. USMC. When I have to I'm up at O Dark thirty to get the job done.

It seems you have been well indoctrinated. To mistrust Men and to think we live to control you. Get over it. We have more important things to do with our mental capital. Feminism's Goals is to divide the genders and to create fear and distrust in Women. They have largely succeeded. To the point where Men are refusing to interact with Feminized Women.

A suggestion Action cures fear.

Answer 16

I agree that it is frustrating that there are still so many stereotypes out there.  But I would question why you are this radical about it, as well as why you cannot accept your friends choices.  It is wonderful that you know what you want to do, but just because they (or you) wan to do something different does not make anyone wrong or "clinging" or breaking gender roles.

Answer 17

Perhaps you feel that their choices somehow reflect upon you, like it is somehow implied or expected that you should feel the same way they do just because you are a woman. Maybe you feel like there something wrong with you because you, as a woman, choose not to embrace what it seems most women happily do. At least this is how I felt, and I'm not going to lie, how I sometimes still feel, too, even though I know I shouldn't. I don't have a problem with women who choose to be housewives and have children, who embrace what is traditionally "woman's work," but I sometimes think "what makes me so darn different that I deviate from this norm?" I guess it's just a lonely feeling.

Edit: What's with the 5 thumbs down? Someone please tell me where I was off base. But I doubt any of you will.

Answer 18

Why? Because you lack social skills.

Get a life.

Answer 19

because you lack maternal instincts that normal women have. Its not your fault its just a defect and if you don't want kids thats OK because it helps suppress the gene.

I don't understand the thumbs down, clearly she does not have the nesting instinct her friends do. Its not an insult its an observation based on her description.

I raise Cattle and when I have cows that lack maternal instinct we send them to slaughter because we don't want to pass that trait on to the herd. Progeny need to have good traits to ensure the success of the herd. Humans are a herding species so the same rules apply.

Really! You take Prozac?

Why would you ever abuse yourself with psychotropic drugs like that?

Answer 20

There is no reason why you should cook and clean if you do not want to.  Personally, I am terrible at cleaning and mediocre at cooking, but I do enjoy looking after the children.  However, nobody is going to make you do that if you don't want to.

However, you might consider that some women do not so much 'cling on' to traditional gender roles, as are simply comfortable with them.  Despite what feminists tell you, not all married women in the past were miserable at home and yearning to be at the office all day.  And in any case, how is being at the beck and call of your employer all day long 'having your own life' but being in your own home and looking after your own children not 'having your own life' ?  Whose life are you having then?

Answer 21

I completely understand where you are coming from and experience the same thing.

Let me be an opportunist and ask you to answer a few of my questions on the topic. I'm curious about what you think.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

As an aside, I think most people don't get worked up about this because the status quo works quite well for them. People like yourself and others, like myself, aren't satisfied with that. If we could all live the way we wanted, I'm certain there would be no need for the feminist movement. Unfortunately, we live in a very gendered world and despite the fact that most people think things are fine the way they are, we're not all willing to fit into that mold.

I emphathize with you. I quit watching TV altogether. Those cough syrup commercials featuring "Dr. Mom" infuriated me to no end. I think most people just accept that as the way things are, the way they should be, and part of our "natural" taken-for-granted reality. That infuriates me as well.

Answer 22

It is good to know you hang around stable people psycho.

Answer 23

I guarantee that the things you do and you stand for anger someone else just as much as you're angered by people 'clinging to gender roles'

Always remember that someone hates your lifestyle. With that in mind, should you change because someone hates you for say.. using your picture as your avatar?

No one is stopping you from 'having your own life' except you. Maybe you get so worked up because you feel like you actually don't have one.

I used to feel the same way when it came to immodest women. You can't forced morals on people so if you don't relax and just worry about yourself you'll always be riddled with anxiety.

Answer 24

If you don't want to do these kinds of things then don't. Why should it bother you that other women want to? Maybe you need to focus on what you want and what you are doing and not be concerned about others people and what they think and what they are doing. Maybe you are going out of your way to be different. Just be yourself...

Answer 25

Because you've been pampered your whole life and are in desperate search of something to b-tch about.

I'm sorry, I should have fostered your paranoia by offering simple minded 'you go girl' platitudes.

Answer 26

It is annoying because although some people may fit in and be happy with gender roles, the negative effects are that people that aren't good at those things feel inferioir, or they are pushed into doing things they don't want to do.

I think men need liberating, they are so caught up with 'being a man' still.

Answer 27

It's sickening to me too!

Society sucks and we just have to adjust.  People don't adjust very well it seems, especially here in America.  That explains why we still have racism, sexism, etc.  I think the sexism is just as bad as racism though, even though it doesn't get nearly the coverage.

There was a time when women couldn't vote either!

I just do my best to not associate with the people that have views that are disrespectful and arrogant.

Answer 28

I don't know, but you should calm down a bit. Mostly women who are homemaker types do it because they *chose* to. Since you are a feminist, you should be supporting that choice instead of being enraged that they made a different choice than you have. Correct? Live the way you want and stop being irate that other women don't want what you want.

And for what it's worth, homemakers have their own lives too. Chores aren't all we do.   : P

Answer 29

Well, my dear, someone has lit the "feminism fire" within you.

Perhaps it was a wonderful professor, or a mentor you have.

Nevertheless, you have figured out that women should be able to do just as much as men and that women before us have fought for our equality.

You aren't alone unless you're for female supremacy or women only societies, but almost no one is. Prepare to be accused of hating men, being a bad cook, being ugly (because all feminists are ugly, dontcha know?), being a psycho, and wearing only plaid. Does this sound ridiculous to you? Like Tracey, I urge you to stay awhile.

Here is a question to get your fingers typing on that keyboard:

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Also, might I comment on how lovely your photograph is? Feel free to join the gorgeous feminists who post here in proving that we are not man eating, fat, ugly ogres.

Answer 30

Stop yourself from doing that; it's foolish and as you're saying it's not getting you anywhere.