Why do I go for unobtainable guys?

Question

I seem to....i am wondering why? what are the common reasons? I have had a couple of guys who said they loved me who I didnt feel a thing for, and a couple who werent that into me but I was crazy about. One guy who I really really liked said he thought he was falling for me, and I said "dont say that"...I still dont know why, but he was really upset. It was the one thing I wanted to hear, but I said that. And I have read that guys like a little bit of vulnerability but the idea if showing that side literally makes me sick...Id feel inferior or just plain stupid, and like I was putting on an act. I think I have some kind of emotional disturbance as whenever I read about women from a mans persecrtive, I cant help but feel so scornful, angry and insulted. The more I learn, the more it makes me sick. I hate feeling this bad, but I couldnt turn g*y, id be Bi sexual at the most. And I seem to fall for unavailable men the most. Am I just angry with men (i.e. It will pass) or do I have an emotional disturbance? im 23

Answer 1

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 2

maybe you're setting your sights too high, i've been doing the same for years lol

Answer 3

ok  

Answer 4

It's perfectly normal to feel angry when you read about men who treat women shabily or talk about them like cave men grunting at their clubs. That doesn't make you emotionally disturbed; it just makes you a sane, intelligent woman!  You're just like the rest of us - you want a man that really loves you and that you really love too.

Personally, I think your superior female brain ;) is just making a note of all their bad qualities with a view to eliminating that type of man from your list of potential soul mates.

And you seem to do great at that: recognising who's not right for you.  That may be why you didn't want that guy telling you he was falling for you. He could have been a sweetie, but he wasn't your soul mate and at some level you knew that.

It's who IS right for you that you seem to be having difficulty with. It's easy to say you'll meet that special one some day, but you don't want to sit and twiddle your thumbs in the meantime.  

  

So perhaps that's one reason you get into relationships with "unobtainable" men - so you won't have to commit to them when you know already in your heart of hearts that they just aren't him.

You're basically a very honest person, I believe.  You say you don't like acting a part for men. And I think you're right about that. Pretending to be someone you aren't never works for long anyway. Something always gives in the end, and it's usually your mind.  You should be able to be yourself and he should adore you for it.

You could try filling your life with other things - things you genuinely like to do - and as others have suggested, give yourself a break from men for a while. If you're enjoying the rest of your life, it might build your confidence in your ability to be a person in your own right, without needing a man in it.

Then, when you get back on the scene, you could find you'll look at Mr Unobtainable from across the room and say, "Hmm, don't need to go out with you to know it would go nowhere. Cross you off the list right now."

All the very best for the future. And I hope you find Mr Right soon.  (((hugs)))

Answer 5

zz

Answer 6

Because deep down inside you really dont want a guy!

Answer 7

don't know

sorry

lottie xx

Answer 8

It sounded like the stupidest thing when I heard it....but its true. You have to honestly love yourself and be 100 % comfortable with where youve been who its made you become and where your going.... deal with yourself first take some time to figure YOU out before you try to figure someone else and you out... breathe put down any baggage or anger youve been carrying with you stand infront of the mirror scream at yourself, cry laugh...your the only one that knows what goes on and you just might find that itll help.... you may even try just putting a pen to paper writing with out thinking it doesnt have to make sense but get it out of you.... dont pick your pen up until you fill the entire page up. Loving yourself an being happy with yourself is probably the hardest thing in the world to do and do it well and completley. If you dont like something about youseld physically or emotionally then start to change it... think back to every and any man that has ever hurt you or mad you angry weather they were intamate relationships or not and slowly but surely FORGIVE them... until you do that you wont be able to have a 'normal' non angry and scornful relationship... trust me =)

Hope I helped! Good luck sweetie and remember you dont NEED a man (or woman) you need to be good to YOU first no matter what!!!  

Answer 9

You should ask yourself that.

Answer 10

you are very angry at men, and have a dislike for anything good in them.  take a breather for 2 months and stay completely away from them and then enjoy them as people, not men who you want to jump on

Answer 11

go sit in a quiet corner for a while and think solely about your father.  was he much different from the guys you're attracted to?  what was his relationship with your mother?  With you?  

Where do you think you learned about male to  female relationships from?

You're attracted to the same type of man as your father because it's familiar, it's comfortable, and it's known - on an instinctual level.

Answer 12

Is your dad around? Maybe the reason you are going for unobtainable guys is because you don't really WANT to be in a relationship with a man because you are afraid he is going to leave?