Why do I hate myself so bad?

Question

When I try to make friends It feels like I messed up. I don't say hi to anyone and I don't know why. Thats all and I don't want to talk to a therapist. Can you help me?

Answer 1

you need a boost :)

think about all of the positive things that you have then focus on it. ignore the negative so you can feel better.

it looks like you have low confidence, thats ok... i hate people who are so amazed by themselves that they have to get everyone to look at them, thats boring.

there is a technique you can use: look in the mirror and just say things what you want to hear, e.g.:

i am a good person

people like me for who i am

i am bloody brilliant, i am.

note: use last one in a welsh accent... it will make you laugh

xx

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I used to be very shy when I was younger. You can't mess up trying to make friends. You said it yourself, you don't even say hi to people, start there. Force yourself to be more outgoing, just a little bit will go along way. You can just nod and say hey when you walk by some other kids. You need to smile, if you aren't smiling, other people think you are unapproachable. Once you start meeting people then all you have to do is be yourself. As I got older it made it easier to make friends and now sometimes I think I have too many friends. Hang in there little man!

Your name is s**y bob, act like it!

Answer 4

Hey there Bob: It sounds like you just need to be given a chance to make that all important 2nd impression.  When you meet someone for the 2nd time is when the most important work of building a relationship starts.  

It's okay to not see a therapist about this, but then you have to ask yourself what it is about your personality that you should show to people so they will want to see you a 2nd time or more.  Once you get more comfortable with a person, then you should relax with them more and maybe then you will be confident enough to say hi.  The trick is to get to see someone more than on a first date.  

It sounds like you might be painfully shy and you just want to get to where you will be comfortable with other people first.  What hobbies interest you? Maybe you can find a social outlet for something you like to do and go to a meeting.  First time just kind of hang out there and then go back again and see who you recognize then maybe you can use your shared interest in the activity to help break the ice and give you something to talk about besides a possible date.  I hope this helps.  If you want to talk more, then email me and we can discuss it more.  I am not a therapist and I will not analyze you!  Just offering friendship here.  

Answer 5

I'm exactly like that too but I realized it was a fear and that I could get over it.  I started to come out of my shell and be me.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  It can't hurt you to try, right?

Answer 6

Low self–esteem is at the root of behaviors which make your life feel unproductive or unmanageable. Developing chronic low self–esteem takes time. It takes a series of events and a chain of habitual behaviors to dampen the sense of personal worth.

Low self–esteem has its roots in a number of life circumstances. If you come from a family of origin where your mom and/or dad had problems with: alcohol; drugs; mental illness; inability to show warmth and affection; being overly critical; rigidity of religious belief; workaholics, then in all likelihood your self–esteem suffered. If you were physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually abused or neglected by: a parent; a brother or sister; an adult caregiver; your spouse or lover, or friend, your self–esteem was lowered. If, in a relationship with a parent, a family member or spouse, you worked hard to overcome the other person's irresponsibility and yet no matter what you did it was "never good enough'' to fix the other person's problems, this `"codependent'' relationship negatively affected your self–esteem. If, on the other hand, you were dependent on another person to make things right for you, your self–esteem was also hurt.

Your emotions and feelings were distorted by the sources of low self–esteem because you were not allowed to express feelings in a "normal'' healthy way. You were expected to always "look good'' in the public eye and not express anything negative. You were not encouraged to be overly expressive if you had happy or positive feelings. If you spoke up and conflict followed, you soon learned to keep the peace and avoid conflict by keeping your feelings to yourself. The repression and denial of feelings have made it difficult for you to identify your true feelings today. Another problem could be that your feelings are only expressed in exaggerated or explosive ways. Distorted feelings, be they repressed, denied, exaggerated or explosive, result in depression, a common feeling experienced by people with low self–esteem.

You have to learn that you have self worth, you have talents and abilities that maybe you haven't tapped into as yet. There are so many variables in your life but you can rise above this. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

Sincerely,

I'm Paranormal Hamburger and I approve this message.

Answer 7

i feel the exact same way.

i always end up pushing them away, too.

im here if you need to talk.

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Answer 8

No, but just try and relax and be yourself.ok

Answer 9

you need to pull yourself together.